


Anders' Kat

by HQuinn



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Justice Positive, Mages and Templars, NSFW, Secrets, Sex, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:29:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 84,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8813398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HQuinn/pseuds/HQuinn
Summary: On the run from the Templars following his final escape from Kinloch Hold, Anders runs into a woman that not only teaches him how to survive, but how to love.Her influence changes the fate of Thedas and of him. This is the story of finding a true love, and then losing them. Of missing someone so important to your heart and wondering if they are missing you too.Thanks to MadamSnark and TurboNerd for being awesome betas. Check out their work.





	1. Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is my first attempt at making several completely Original Characters. I hope you enjoy them as much as the "stars"  
> If you like this, PLEASE leave me comments and kudos. Comments don't have to be epic and brilliant (although I love those too) -- honestly, every little one makes me so freaking happy.
> 
> Friend me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bella.abraham.946  
> I'm on tumblr: http://wardenari.tumblr.com

**** He leaned against the tree trying to catch his breath. He’d been running, barely sleeping for two days except for a few minutes and felt exhausted and hungry. His stomach growled loudly. Ok, he was  _ very _ hungry. But how did one get food when they didn’t know how? It wasn’t like the Circle taught the mages survival techniques. He listened for the noise of armor, he hadn’t heard or seen any signs of Templars in over a day, but was still wary. It was too much to hope that he really had gotten away this time; too often he’d been dragged back, the last time resulting in a year of solitary. When he was released, it was to find that the Circle had been decimated, taken over by blood mages apparently while he had been locked away. Ironic, that he is locked away just for wanting to be free, when the mages allowed to wander about were the real danger. He used the distraction caused by the disarray to escape this time.

Having caught his breath he walked on, hopeful to find someway to find food. He’d tried the day before to use magic to catch something. That ended with a bird on fire, a rabbit exploding and a charred squirrel. He had found some berries, but being unsure if they were poisonous or not, he chose not to risk it.  _ Just one more way they make sure we’re dependent on the Chantry _ , he thought bitterly as he brushed his long blonde hair back from his face.

He trudged softly through the woods, trying his best not to leave a trail. His stomach continued to growl and he began to feel weak as well. After an hour he came up to a small body of water. He leaned against a tree and wondered how he could go about maybe getting a fish. His amber eyes skimmed the water looking for signs of fish and stopped when they fell upon her. She had long, jet black hair, her build was muscular, a warrior perhaps? She was standing in the water bathing, her breasts caught his attention as he licked his lips. A year in solitary, it had been so long since he’d lain eyes on a woman that wasn’t a Templar. He knew he shouldn’t be watching her, that this was wrong, but he just couldn’t tear his gaze from her.  _ Really? On the run for your life and starving and you still can’t think of anything but sex? _

He realized the voice in his head was right and closed his eyes as he turned away from the water. He needed a nap, a quick one perhaps. Maybe one last look and then he’d leave, find somewhere in a tree to rest. He looked behind him, scanned the water, but she was gone.  _ Just as well _ . He turned around to push himself from the tree and stopped, feeling a blade at his neck.

“Just what do you think you were doing?” A female voice snarled at him.

He looked over and saw the beauty from the water. She was dressed, but dripping wet, clearly having dressed in a hurry. From up close he could now see that she had the most beautiful green eyes he’d ever seen, even if they were glaring at him at that moment. She also had a jagged scar across her left cheek, one with a nasty back story, he was sure.

“I...uh…” he was too mesmerized by her to speak properly. He may have been suave and assertive in the Circle, but exhaustion turned him into a simpering idiot.

She looked him up and down, her piercing eyes unforgiving. She seemed to be considering what to do with him. Perhaps evaluating how much of a threat he was. “You’re an apostate?”

_ Crap!  _ His mind raced to try to come up with a story. His stomach didn’t care about a story though, as it growled quite loudly.

She lowered her weapon and let out a sigh, looking him over again. “You sound like you need to eat. Come on.”  She signaled with her blade which way for him to walk and feeling too hungry at this point to do anything but obey, he walked. She followed behind him, saying little. He really really hoped she wasn’t a Templar.

After a few minutes the trees parted and he found himself walking into a small campsite. The smell of something cooking filled his nose and he practically ran for the fire, collapsing onto the ground in front of it. The smell of the food did nothing to quiet his gut. The woman gave him an amused grin as she dug into her bag, pulling out two plates a moment later. She then approached the fire that had a rabbit cooking on a spit. She took a knife from her belt and sliced several pieces off and handed it to him. He greedily took it and began to eat. It had been longer than he’d been running since he’d eaten, and the moment the meat his his tongue he decided he didn’t even care if she  _ was _ a Templar.

A moment later some more was added to his plate and he looked up to see her settle a few feet away and begin her meal. “You looked like you could use some more.” She gave him that same amused grin. “Have you eaten at all lately?”

He watched her closely, still unsure he could trust her and said nothing, instead just enjoying finally having something to eat.

“Right. Apostate, I forgot. Wouldn’t exactly make you trusting, would it? Ok, let’s start over.” She stood up and walked over towards him. He stood quickly ready to cast a spell to defend himself if he had to. She put out her hand. He looked at her only a moment before giving it a shake. “Name’s Katrina Starlin. Just call me Kat though. And you’re safe, my ma was an apostate.”

He chuckled. One of his fantasies of freedom was having a cat, and her name evoked that thought. “Everyone just calls me Anders.” 

Kat signaled for him to sit again as she returned to her spot. “So Anders, I’m guessing from your wardrobe you’re newly  _ released, _ as it were, from the Circle?”

Anders stiffened as he looked at her.

“I told you, you’re safe. No love of the Circle or Chantry here. But I’m guessing based on how quickly you scarfed down that food that you haven’t eaten in awhile.” She watched him with a look that made him feel very much like she could see right through him. He shifted, it was unnerving. He knew he found her attractive, but the way she seemed to just pull him apart, knowing his story without him saying more than his name so far was odd to say the least.

He shook his head. “They don’t exactly teach hunting in the Circle. Probably afraid we’ll hunt the Templars.” 

Kat hummed and nodded. “Tell you what, make you an offer. I’m on the way to meet my companions. I could use some help until I do. Maybe put some wards around the camp, help if I run into trouble? In exchange, I can show you some things - hunting, shelter, how to not get eaten by a bear? What’s your specialty anyway?”

“Healing, although I know fire and some lightning too.” Anders felt he was getting the better end of the deal, what she was asking for in return was pretty easy. “I say you have a deal. Er, if it’s alright to ask, what exactly do you do?”

Kat smirked, “We need to work on that trust. I’m a dragon hunter. Their parts, especially their scales and teeth are big money. And occasionally I’ll get hired by someone with power if a dragon’s causing trouble on their land.”

Anders nodded. He was pleased to hear it wasn’t Crows or some other type of mercenary that he’d fallen in with. “So, where’s your party? There’s not a dragon around here is there?” He looked around with concern.

Kat let out a hearty laugh. She placed the remainder of the rabbit on his plate “Doubtful. They’re near Ironbrook, where there may be a dragon. That’s what they went to check out.”

“So why are you out here instead?” Anders ate the food happily.

“Went to Denerim. Never seen a King crowned before. Wanted to get a glimpse of the Hero too.” Kat shrugged.

“The what?” Anders quirked his eyebrow. “Hero of what?”

Kat laughed again. “Man, they  _ do _ keep you isolated in that Circle, huh? Hero of Ferelden. He and the new King stopped the blight. Both pretty easy on the eyes too.” She winked at him. “He was some noble born. Cutland or something.” Kat shrugged. “Anyway, it was pretty neat to see. Glad I checked it out. But now back to the real world for us working class, eh?” She let out a yawn. “How ‘bout you get to setting those wards and we can get to bed. Want to hit the road early in the morning. Keep them Templars off your trail, right?”

Anders walked around the perimeter of the camp setting up the wards and also a few magical traps as backup. He looked over to see Kat cleaning up, putting away their dishes and setting out a bedroll. She was odd, a combination of scary “I can kick your ass if you look at me wrong” while at the same time generous and trusting of him very quickly. Once the wards were set up he walked back to the center of camp.

“I wasn’t expecting company, so we’ll sort of have to share the bedroll, but I’ve spread it out as much as I can so you have some space. Sorry.” 

Anders watched her with surprise. She had fed him, offered him safety and to teach him how to fend for himself and she thought she needed to apologize for not having another bedroll? “How is it that you are so trusting of me?”

Kat shrugged. “I’ve just learned how to size someone up pretty quick. You really don’t strike me as a danger. There’s a kindness in your eyes. You’re a healer, that makes sense. And you seem to need my help, so there’s motivation for you to not attack me.”

Anders couldn’t help himself, watching as she prepared for sleep, she stripped off her armor, now wearing just a cotton shirt and breeches. “And what if instead of attacking you I were to kiss you?”

Kat looked him up and down again and shrugged. “You’re pretty cute. You might get away with it, or you might find a blade in your gut for your trouble.”

Anders gulped. He wasn’t sure if he was aroused or frightened, but whatever he was feeling was new.

She settled onto the bedroll and he laid next to her, trying to give her as much room as possible. “Sorry for the lack of tent.” Kat rolled over to look at him. “I just thought it was a nice night.”

Anders rolled on his back looking up at the stars. Stars he never got to see from the tower. Stars that represented freedom. “I find this arrangement quite agreeable.” He replied without turning his head, instead staring up into the vastness of the night sky.

“G’night Anders.” Kat yawned. “Don’t make me have to stab you in the middle of the night.”

Anders chuckled. “Night Kat. I’ll do my best to keep that from happening.” He watched the stars, fascinated by their twinkling. One shot across the sky. “Hey, Kat,” he looked over but she was fast asleep.

Anders rolled on his side and looked at her. He still felt like he couldn’t quite figure her out. She had mentioned her mother was an apostate, but even still, her quick acceptance of him being out of a Circle was startling. Her hair fell across her face as she slept. He lifted his hand to move it behind her ear but stopped his hand just before touching, recalling her words about stabbing. Instead he rolled onto his back again and watched the stars until he fell asleep; the first real sleep he’d had in days.

*** 

Anders awoke the next morning to someone shaking his shoulder. 

“Come on, pretty boy, time to hit the road.”

He opened his eyes and blinked, a soft smile crossing his lips. He was still feeling sleep addled and for a moment in a panic that the Templars had found him, but the vision before him filled him with calm. Kat was kneeling down watching him, waiting for him to awaken. “My luck certainly is turning around. Waking up to find a beautiful woman beside me.”

“Flatterer. Get up and disable the wards so we can head out.” She turned to finish packing up, but not before he caught the hint of a blush on her cheeks.

Once the wards were down, Kat handed him the bag containing her tent. “Earn your keep, you get to carry the heavy one.” She winked at him. Without another word she walked off, and he watched for a moment before realizing he should be following.

They walked in companionable silence for awhile. Anders took the opportunity to really look around and take in his surroundings. He took a deep breath of the fresh air. Freedom smelled like pine trees, he decided.

Kat stopped and then turned to her right walking a few paces. “C’mere, mage.” Her voice teasing.

He walked beside her and knelt where she had. She pointed to two plants in front of them looking identical.

“Do you know which of these is safe to eat and which is not?” She asked him.

Anders shook his head. They looked the same to him.

Kat put her hands out and held up a leaf on each plant. “This one here is dragonberry.” She indicated the one in her left hand. “Notice the leaf is smooth but not shiny. This is safe to eat.” She plucked a berry from the plant and held it up, pressing it into Anders’ mouth. She blushed when he nipped at her finger as she pulled away. He knew he shouldn’t have, he’d only met her not twelve hours before, but in the Circle you couldn’t show affection. He was definitely feeling some pull towards her and he wanted the freedom to show her; to the Maker if it was right or not.

She turned back to the plants and indicated the one on her right. “This one, see how the leaf has ridges and some shine to the color?” She looked at Anders who nodded. “This is redberry. Very poisonous. That one I will not be feeding to you.” She winked at him and stood up. “That’s your first lesson.”

“Thanks,” he stood up and wiped off his hands, pleasantly surprised to find she hadn’t objected to his flirting.

“Well, I can’t have my pretty apostate getting himself dead because he’s hungry, can I?” It was the second time that day she’d called him pretty. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by him. “Come on. We have further to go before we take a rest. I’ll teach you to hunt closer to lunch.”

The next few hours were spent with her stopping not only to show him animal tracks, and other plants, but to quiz him on things she had already shown him. By the time she announced they were stopping for lunch his head was spinning with all the new information, but if her quizzing was any indication, he was quickly retaining the knowledge she was imparting on him.

Kat dug through her pack and pulled out a shovel. 

“We’re going to hunt with a shovel?” Anders raised an eyebrow.

“Which of us here knows how to hunt?” She looked at him pointedly.

“I’m not sure either of us if you think you are going to do it with a shovel.”

“Just watch and learn.” Kat walked out towards the forest. Apparently finding what she was looking for she knelt down and started digging a hole. Anders sat down beside her and watched. As she dug she tossed the dirt away where it couldn’t easily be seen. She stopped for a moment and pulled out a worm.

“I am  _ not _ eating that.” Anders scrunched up his nose.

“They’re full of protein.” Kat answered matter of factly.

“No.”

“Come on, don’t knock it until you try it.” Kat held it out in front of his face.

“You can’t be serious.” He looked at her with confusion. She wasn’t, was she?

“Just a little bite, it won’t kill you.” Kat moved closer.

“No.” Anders answered firmly, and grabbed her wrists,one with each hand.

“Chicken.” She smirked at him, moving closer again, trying to fight his grip on her wrist.

“You’re teasing me.” His voice lightened up, although he did nothing to discourage her pretty much wrestling with him now.

“Maybe.” She gave him a wink, her face now just inches from his. 

He stopped moving, and so did she, just staring at each other. Her lips were so close, his throat felt tight, his stomach quivered. She was breathing heavy from their playing, he could feel it on his chin, smell the scent of lilacs, and he felt something stir inside him, realizing it was her scent.

“What do I get if I eat it?” He flirted brazenly with her and pulled on her slightly so that she was nearly in his lap. He found he liked this, being able to be more up front, more physical. This,  _ this _ was freedom. He felt her shiver slightly in his hands.

She moved her head and whispered, her breath hot in his ear. “Try it and find out.”

Oh, Anders liked her. She gave as good as he did. He looked at the worm still dangling in her fingers and back at her. “Sweetheart, I’m not sure you’re good enough to make it worth it.”

Kat chuckled and kissed his cheek. “Well, now you just won’t know.” She let go of the worm and Anders let go of her wrist. “Now, let me finish what I was doing.”

Anders sat back, still feeling the press of her lips on his cheek. He wished he had thought to react, to kiss her back, to just do  _ something _ but now the moment had passed. Still… _ freedom. Yay!  _ He thought with disappointment.

Once she had a hole about two feet deep and a foot square,she placed straw and then some leaves over it and finally a pile of berries on top. She stood up and brushed off her hands on her pants. She then held her hand out to Anders as he stood. “Come on, now’s the fun part...waiting.”

She led him about twenty feet away where there were some large bushes they could sit behind. When he sat beside her she talked, but in a whisper. “Always carry a shovel, it’s small and easy to fit in a pack. Useful for when nature calls, for digging a fire pit and for making a trap like we have there. The more uses you can get out of one tool to keep your pack light, the better.”

Anders nodded. He felt like he’d learned more this past day with her then the Circle had taught him in all the years he had been there. He wasn’t sure how he could ever really repay her for it all.

“I’m starting to wonder if you know what you’re actually doing,” He said a half hour later when they were still waiting.

“Don’t question the expert.” 

“How am I supposed to believe you can hunt a dragon when you can’t even catch a…” he was cut off by her hand across his mouth. She held a finger to her lips to shush him and pointed. He looked and sure enough a nug approached slowly. Before Anders could blink the nug disappeared, fallen into the hole. Kat rushed up to the hole, her blade out. Another moment later she stood up with the dead nug in her hands.

“Voila. Lunch. You’re cooking.” She walked off towards their belongings.

“Why am I cooking?” He caught up to her.

“Because you dared to question the all knowing Kat.” She chuckled, tossing the dead nug to Anders, who caught it with a look of terror at the prospect of holding a dead animal. She laughed loudly at him. “Gonna have to toughen you up.”

“You do realize I don’t actually  _ know _ how to cook, right? Set something on fire and burn it to a crisp I can do, cooking not so much.” 

“Yes, but how will you learn if I don’t make you actually do it?” Kat smirked at him as she started a fire.

An hour later they were walking again. 

“How long until we meet your party?” Anders asked her.

“I’m thinking about six days. They’re a good lot, you’ll like them.” She looked over at him as she walked.

“And they’re not going to have a problem with,” he waved his fingers.

“Your hands. Nah, they look nice, probably pretty talented with them too.”  Oh he  _ definitely _ liked her.

“Never had any complaints, but you know that’s not what I mean.” 

“They won’t care you're a mage. Already have one, so you won’t even be that special, sorry.” She gave him that smile again that was starting to quickly become a favorite of his.

As it neared dark Kat found them a spot to set up camp for the night. “You get the fire going and clear the ground. I’ll find us dinner.” She was gone before he could think to argue.

Anders got the fire going with a literal flick of his hand. Clearing the ground took some more time, however. The brush and sticks were plentiful. While he did he thought back to earlier that day. The feel of her breath so close to him, the chill that had run through him when she’d spoken in his ear. He was used to being the flirter, the aggressor as it were, in matters like these. The fact that she was just as bold was intriguing and a little exciting. 

“Should've kissed her.” He said outloud to himself and sighed. When he turned he dropped the sticks that were in his hand and fell to the ground. A hawk, the largest he’d ever seen, sat on Kat’s bag, not that he’d seen many being in the Circle and all. “Shoo.” He said weakly.

The bird squawked loudly at him. Anders decided not to argue with the large bird with sharp claws. He sat on the other side of camp far away and hoped Kat was coming back soon.

He heard someone approach but was unwilling to take his eyes off the monster bird to see who it was.

“Ah, I see you met Fredrick.” Kat appeared with two fish in her hands.

“You know him?” Anders was shocked.

“He belonged to my father. Da was a falconer. It’s how I keep in touch with the others when we’re not together.” She walked up to the bird who, to Anders shock, rubbed his head along Kat’s arm affectionately.  Kat reached to the bird’s leg and untied a paper.

“Hmm...looks like they had to move on a bit. They’re headed this way it seems. We could stay here, have them meet us?” She looked over at Anders. “I’m guessing they don’t take you on hikes much at the Circle. What do you say, we set up camp, let them come to us?”

Anders was thrilled at the news. He hadn’t wanted to complain, happy to have someone to show him the ropes, but three days of walking was causing his feet to scream. The idea of just  _ stopping _ sounded ideal, and now more than three days out from Kinloch Hold, he felt he might be safe from Templars. “I wouldn’t argue with that plan.”

“Alright.” She reached in her bag and produced some jerky which she handed to the hawk and then jotted a note, reattaching the paper to the bird.

“How will they know where to find us?” Anders asked.

“Fredrick will show them. Won’t you boy?” The hawk squawked as if in reply. Anders still decided the other side of camp was safer.

Kat showed him how to clean the fish and it now sat over the fire cooking. “You did pretty good today,” Kat grinned at him. “Keep it up and you’ll be a natural at all this in no time.”

Anders sat next to her as they waited for their dinner. “Well, you’re a good teacher, thanks. I still don’t get how you’re able to trust me so quickly though.”

“I told you, I’m a very good judge of character. Wasn’t always, but I know how to spot danger pretty easy.” Kat cleaned her blade as she spoke.

“But how can you know I won’t hurt you?” Anders was glad she had befriended him so quick, but it was still baffling to him that she had.

“Are you saying you’re going to hurt me, Anders?” She didn’t even look up as she continued her cleaning.

“No. Not planning to.” He shook his head.

“See,” she smirked, only looking up slightly. “‘Sides, it’s nice to have someone to travel with. I’m so used to my group, that it was getting too quiet. So you’re keeping me company, and you’re easy on the eyes, so that doesn’t hurt either.”

Anders smirked at her and flipped the fish in the pan.

“So,” Kat put down her blade and leaned back on her arms. “Tell me about yourself, mage.”

“What do you want to know?” He sat back down beside her.

“Well, when’d you go to the Circle? How’d you escape? What’s your favorite book? Is there a special gal or guy somewhere? Anything really.” She shrugged.

“When I was about twelve. Set the barn on fire on accident, templars came the next day.” He played with a blade of grass by his feet. “I escaped because they were all too busy recovering from an uprising.”

“I heard about that. That must have been awful.” Kat spoke softly.

“I was locked in the basement, missed all the fun so to speak. And no, not anymore at least.”

“Not what anymore?”

“No one special. There was someone, but they transferred him a while ago. Karl.” His voice cracked. He had tried not to think of Karl in a while. When he’d heard about the blood mage uprising, it was the first time Anders had been happy that Karl had been sent away, at least Anders knew he was safe.

“So you like men then.” She sounded disappointed.

“I don’t really have a preference. I sort of am attracted more to the person’s soul than their gender.” Anders watched her to see if she’d judge him.

“So, more who they are then what they are?” She edged a little closer. “The fish are ready.”

Anders nodded and moved to the fire, returning with a plate for each of them. “Pretty much.”

“So, what do you think of who I am?” Kat asked without looking up at him.

“I like what I’ve seen of you so far.” He smiled when he saw her try to hide her grin behind her hair. “So what about you? What’s your story?”

“What do you want to know?” She looked into his eyes. The firelight reflected in her eyes as she did.

“Well, you said your mother is an apostate?”

“Was.” She answered. “When I was sixteen they caught up with us. Three of them, two men and a woman. My father tried to fight them off, they killed him, cut off his head right in front of me and ma.”

“Maker.” Anders gasped.

“I doubt the Maker cared at all. So the woman grabbed Ma, and me being sixteen and thinking I knew everything, tried to fight them off. I managed to kill one of the bastards before the other knocked me out. When I woke up, them and Ma were gone. Been me and Fredrick ever since.” Now it was her turn to look at the ground.

“Kat, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Anders reached for her hand.

“It’s ok. That was ten years ago. And at least now you know there’s no way I’d ever turn you in to those monsters.” She squeezed his hand before letting go.

She stood up and brushed off her hands on her breeches. “Ok, since you cooked and you’ve been good about not complaining about all the walking, I’ll clean up from dinner, you get the wards up.” All the sadness from just a moment ago was gone from her face. “It’s another nice night, you ok with no tent again?”

“Sounds fine. I like looking at the stars.” He stood and began the job of setting up protection wards around camp.

When he returned she was already lying on the bedroll facing the fire. Anders removed his robe, leaving him in just his breeches and no shirt.

“Kat, you ok?” He laid down beside her.

“Yeah, just thinking.” She sounded sad.  _ Dammit Anders, way to make friends, remind her of the worst day of her life. _

“About that day?” He wanted to help.

Kat rolled on her back. “No. I don’t like to think about that if I can avoid it. I was remembering my twelfth birthday. My father gave me this.” She held up a small charm. “Of course it was on a necklace then. Templars broke the chain, but I kept this. We didn’t have a lot, we were poor, but I had my parents and we all loved each other. I prefer to remember them that way.” She surprised him by leaning over and kissing his cheek. “G’night Anders.”

“Night Kat.” He laid on his back looking up at the stars. At least they’d have a few days to relax while they waited for her companions. He looked forward to the rest.

He didn’t even remember falling asleep, but he heard the sound of whimpering and shot up. He looked around for a few moments before realizing the sound was Kat, in the middle of a bad dream it seemed. Anders laid back down, leaning up on his elbow and gently shook her arm. 

“Hey Kat. Wake up, it’s just a dream.” Before he could blink she had turned around and buried her head into his chest, her arm wrapping around his waist as she cried. Anders wrapped his arms around her and laid back down, pulling her along with him. Kat pressed as close to him as she could, her head stayed on his chest. He listened to her cry as he held her, running his hands along her arm to try to soothe her. She didn’t speak, instead just squeezing her arm around him as she cried. He felt guilty, sure it was because of his questions earlier. After a long while she finally fell back asleep, but didn’t move away. Anders waited until he was sure she wasn’t going to have another nightmare before he allowed himself to fall back asleep with her in his arms. It was the first time he could remember ever having someone wrapped around him as he slept, and he was pleasantly surprised to find he liked it. A lot.

When he awoke the next morning it was with his arms still full of her. He opened his eyes to find her watching him. “Hi.” he waited to see if she would flee.

“Hi.” Kat smiled at him, her arm around him still. He could feel her hand brush along his hip, back and forth in a slight movement. It sent a rush of sensations up his spine. “Thanks. For last night I mean. I guess I wasn’t as over it all as I said.”

Anders nodded, finding it hard to find his voice. It wasn’t any easier to locate when she leaned up and kissed his cheek before pushing up and leaving the bedroll.

“D’ya think you could remove the wards so I can head back up to the lake and bathe?” She looked down at him with an expression that almost looked to him like desire.

Anders sat up slowly, missing the warmth of her pressed against him. The smell of lilacs fading away. “Yeah, uh sure.” He nodded and walked to the perimeter, disabling the wards.

“Thanks. I’ll be back soon, I’ll see if I can scrounge up some berries too.” Kat gave his hand a squeeze as she left. 

He watched her walk off until she’d disappeared through the trees. Anders gulped, his throat dry. Yup, he was definitely in over his head. The fact that he still couldn’t figure her out had him even more twisted. She returned his flirting, and she hadn’t bolted when she woke up in his arms. Instead it appeared she’d waited for him to wake up. He wasn’t used to this. Everything up to this point had been quick dalliances in a hidden part of the library, or that orgy the one time at the Pearl a few years back. But this, whatever this was, this was different. He found himself thinking of her when she wasn’t around. How was that possible? It had only been two days, how had he become so attached so quickly? Was this normal? Freedom was starting to become more confusing and frustrating then he had thought it would be.

Anders busied himself with packing up the bedroll and relighting the fire, adding some of the brush he’d cleared yesterday to the flame. He remembered how the fire had reflected in her eyes the night before. That bled into thinking of her eyes looking at him when he awoke still holding her this morning. Should he have kissed her then? Probably not. But he definitely wanted to try to, preferably  _ before _ her party arrived, just in case any of them was the jealous type.

He looked up and felt a swelling of excitement in his chest as she entered their camp. The plate she had brought with her was now full of berries and some nuts. 

“Found breakfast.” Kat said happily as she sat beside him and plopped a berry into his mouth.

“So what have your companions been up to while you were in Denerim?” Anders asked as he took some of the food onto his plate.

“A few things. Looking into rumors of a dragon for one, among other things. They had some business of their own to attend to. The note said the rumors were just that, rumors. So once they meet up we’ll head north. See if we can charter a ship to the Free Marches. You’re welcome to join us if you wish.” She watched him, her head tilted, looking almost shy. She was giving him a choice, something he hadn’t had since he was twelve. He could make up his own mind to stay or go, even though it seemed evident which way she was hoping he would lean. Anders felt his affection for her growing at that knowledge.

“I think I’ll stick with you. Hasn’t led be wrong yet.” Anders replied, returning the smile she gave him.

“Glad to hear it.” Kat reached over and ran a finger along his arm. “There’s a town a few hours away. Think you’ll be alright here while I head there for supplies?”

“You’re leaving me here?” He worried.

“I think it’s best. We’re not that far from Kinloch, better for you to stay hidden here then risk Templars in town.” She reasoned. “Stay hidden until I return. I don’t want anyone stealing my pretty mage.” 

Anders smirked. “Very well.”

He watched an hour later as she disappeared on the horizon. She’d left him with one of her blades as backup.

The first hour he spent wandering through the woods making a game of identifying the plants around him. He remembered her voice, pointing out the different flora and fauna. Some were names he recognized from potions making classes. Seeing the plants in the wild ment with the right tools he could make his own potions. He wished he’d thought of asking her if she could find him a mortar and pestle. He wondered what supplies she needed. More jerky perhaps, maybe another bedroll. He found the thought of no longer sleeping beside her filled him with sorrow. After only two nights he’d found it comforting to have her so near.

The allure of plants wore off after a few hours. Anders decided upon a bath. He removed his robe leaving him in just his breeches. Digging through the pack she had left, he found her soap and towel. He held the soap to his nose and the smell of lilacs filled his nose. Anders leaned his head against the tree as the thought of Kat filled his mind. She was there, soft lips nibbling on his chin, his neck. Anders moaned quietly, barely a whisper. In the Circle, one learned to be quiet so as not to be caught.

His hand ran down his chest and his mind showed her on her knees, untying the laces of his breeches. Slowly she’d pull them down, just enough to release him. Anders hand made quick work of his ties as he then reached in and took himself in hand. He practically collapsed into the tree. Oh Maker, he wanted, so much he wanted. His hand gripped himself as he pumped, thinking of her mouth around it, of her...Anders moaned again. “Kat”.

He was so close, his breath quickening. He heard a bird call out and it shook him from his thoughts. He needed a distraction, to get her out of his mind. He stripped and dove into the water.

“HOLY MAKER!” He blinked quickly, the water was frigid. At least he didn’t have to worry about any feelings of lust or even about lingering in the water longer than necessary. He quickly scrubbed himself clean and all but ran from the water drying himself off as quick as possible. No sooner was he in his robes then the skies opened and the rain started falling hard. “Figures.” Anders mumbled.

He picked up the bag and began to trudge back to camp. The canopy of trees did little to stop the rain from drenching him. When he got close enough to see the camp he was relieved to see she had returned, a leather cloak protecting her from the rain. Even better, she was in the process of setting up the tent.

Kat turned, hearing what was either a wild boar or Anders crashing through the woods. She had to hold back her laughter at seeing him soaked. He looked so miserable that it was almost adorable. “Hurry, into the tent. I’m nearly done. Get in before you get any wetter.” 

He didn’t have to be told twice, practically diving in when he was close enough. He could hear her shuffling around outside, securing the tent. It felt good to be out of the rain. He shivered and removed his robe, it was drenched and doing nothing to help him dry off. Freedom was starting to be a pain in the ass.

Ander called up a small bit of fire into his hand ran it along his chest and down to his breeches to dry himself off.

“Ouch, fuck.” He heard Kat from outside the tent. She said nothing else as she continued shuffling around. 

A few minutes later she entered the tent holding her hand. She removed her cloak and tossed it in the corner, her clothes underneath were dry. She then removed her boots and placed those beside the cloak. He noticed that she still hadn’t used her left hand.. “Tent’s up.” Kat sighed.

“What happened?” Anders reached out his hand to take her injured one.

Kat sat with her legs folded under her facing him and gave him her hand. “Mallet slipped. Hurts like a bastard.” 

“Seems to be broken,” his hands started glowing as he poured healing energy into it while watching it closely, holding it up near his face to check the progress. He could feel her bones realigning, mending back together. He pulled back his magic when he could feel her hand was healed, but did not let go of it. His thumb ran along the back of it. She had invaded his thoughts all day, ever since he woke with her in his arms. He’d felt desire before, but this, this felt different somehow. Anders held her hand and pressed a soft kiss to her palm. A sigh came from Kat and when he looked her eyes were closed, her face blissful. Anders wasn’t going to let another chance pass. 

He leaned over, pressing his lips to hers. Kat moaned and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Kat pushed her hands into his hair, holding him close. He felt her shift, and a second later she was climbing into his lap, her legs straddling his. Anders arms wrapped around her, pulling her. Kat moved closer until he felt her hips on his, her breasts pressed against his chest. His breeches started becoming uncomfortable as he grew harder. Her hips gyrating on his didn’t help matters any.

Kat’s lips left his, as she started to nibble along his chin, towards his neck where she began to lick. Shivers ran down his spine. Her hips pressed harder into his.

“Fuck, Kat.” Anders moaned.

“That’s the idea.” She whispered into his ear, nibbling along the lobe. Anders hands on her tightened in response.

With one hand on the small of her back, the other on her hip he held her still on top of him and bucked up into her clothed heat.

“Anders, oh, mmmm.” She moaned, feeling her gut quiver. It had been a long time since someone had affected her this way. She knew it had only been two days, but something about him just drew her in. When she awoke this morning in his arms she had wanted nothing more than to climb on him then, much like she was now.

His hands ran up her sides, pulling her shirt up as he did. She removed her hands from his hair to allow him to pull her shirt completely off. Anders slowly lifted her and then lowered her onto the bedroll, laying on top of her. He kissed along her neck as she moaned loudly. Her hand slid under his waistband and grabbed his ass, pulling, prompting him to press his hard cock along her.

“Too many clothes,” she grumbled, flipping them over so that he was now beneath her. She moved quicker than he’d ever seen anyone move before, suddenly kneeling over him. She reached over and yanked his breeches down to his knees. A moment later he felt a tongue run over his already leaking cock.

“Kat,” he moaned quietly.

“You’re not in the Circle anymore. I want to hear you.” Her mouth over him before he could reply.

“Fuck, Kat!” Anders cried out, obeying her request. His hand laced into her hair as he looked down, His eyes met hers, and the view of himself disappearing into her hot mouth...it was better than his fantasy. Anders threw his head back and moaned, his hand still in her hair as she continued her ministrations. He felt a tightening in his balls and pulled on her hair.

Kat crawled up his body, licking as she went. Her breasts dragged along his chest as she nibbled her way up his body. Her lips met his. It had been so long, years, since anyone had desired her. And for it to be someone she had felt such a quick connection to, she hadn’t been joking when she said she enjoyed watching him. The mage practically oozed sex. She was so full of need for him it consumed her.

Anders rolled so that she was underneath him again. Slowly his soft lips began to explore her, moving from her neck down, down. His tongue circled a nipple already hard and waiting for him. His hand kneaded the other breast as his lips closed around this one and he heard her moan his name. Freedom meant having the time to explore, to taste, and he intended to take full advantage of that.

“Please, Anders.” She moaned, her nails scraping into his shoulder. He liked the sound of his name coming from her lips like that. His cock twitched in response.

He released her breast with a pop and moved further down her, kisses along her stomach. Delighting in her squirming beneath him. Her breeches were off and he had no idea when she had removed them. It left only her smalls, which he could see were soaked. He took a whiff, the smell of her arousal had him moaning. He slid her smalls down her legs, looking up to see her watching him. One leg and then the other over his shoulder, and Anders nibbled his way up her thigh. He liked this, found it turned him on more, this having time to explore. It was a new experience, something sensual.

He tasted her, a swipe of his tongue and her body arched. “FUUUUUUUUCK” Kat cried. He’d barely touched her and already she was feeling so close to the edge. Her abdomen was fluttering, She needed, oh so much she needed. Anders lips closed around her clit and he sucked, she felt his fingers enter her and holy Maker. She couldn’t hold on anymore. Her legs tightened on either side of his face as she arched up. Kat saw stars, crying out into the night. Her abdomen pulsed, it felt like every nerve was exposed, her first orgasm not by her own hands in so many years.

“Anders, please….” She’d never wanted someone as much as she wanted him now. She felt him slide along her body, his lips quickly finding hers as she moaned, tasting herself on his lips. His tongue pressed inside her mouth as he took control of the kiss. Kat’s legs wrapped around his hips and suddenly she was full, so full of him.

Anders pulled his head away only a fraction, his eyes meeting hers as he began to slowly move his hips. Freedom meant taking the time to be inside your lover, not needing a quick release. He watched as her pupils darkened, filled with lust. Her hands ran along his biceps, nails scratching along his back. He’d never felt like this, not even with Karl. This felt like...more. Her wet heat surrounding his cock, pulling him in further, deeper.

Kat moaning increased, words had devolved until it was only his name on her lips. Anders kissed up her jaw to her ear as he continued pumping his hips. Her legs around him tightened, keeping him closer. One of his hands found her hip, holding her steady as he moved inside her.

“You feel so good, so wet.” He praised her and she moaned at his words. “Ohhhhh, Kat. I couldn’t think of anything but you today, wanting you.”

“Mmmmm.” She nipped his earlobe. “I wanted you too. That’s why I went to the lake this morning. It wasn’t for a bath. I needed to release.”

Anders toes curled, the thought of her down at the water, touching herself, thinking of him…

He felt the tightening in his balls as the same moment she arched and screamed his name. Anders pistoned his hips and a moment later followed her over the edge, filling her with his seed. He collapsed beside her and she rolled over, her head on his chest, her arm around him. She twined her leg with his, and he felt soft kisses along his jaw. Sweat cooled on their body as they laid like that. He could feel her soft breathing telling him she had fallen asleep. Even though it was still early afternoon, it was dark outside from the heavy rain, almost like night. Anders looked down, could just make out her form pressed against his. This was different, being entwined with a lover. Even with the few dalliances he’d had on other escapes, the other would always leave the bed quickly after the act was done. This...feeling her alongside him, her feeling comfortable enough to fall asleep wrapped around him...this was new, and he was surprised to feel how relaxing it was. Intimate. Free.


	2. The Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sweetness, and then drama

****She woke slowly, feeling him nibble her shoulder up to her neck, her back pressed to his chest. Kat wiggled her backside against him and grinned, feeling he was already clearly interested. She rolled in his arms until she was facing him. Anders ran his fingers gently in her hair, his lips finding hers almost immediately. Kat’s arm wrapped around his back, gripping his shoulder as she moaned into his mouth. Her other hand ran down his chest, touching, learning the feel of him. Her fingers wrapped around his cock when she found it, touching lightly.

Anders closed his eyes, rolling his head back as her name fell from his lips in a whisper. She took the opportunity to nibble his neck. Her leg wrapped around his torso and she guided him into her. Anders hands gripped her hips and held her still once he was seated in her.

“Kat.” He said just above a whisper as he covered her lips with his, rolling so that she was now beneath him again. He moved his hips slowly, dragging slowly out and then back in, enjoying the feel of every bit of her touching him. Her hands gripped his back as he continued to kiss her. Anders found he was enjoying this type of kissing, slow and exploratory, more than the quick and heated ones he was used to. This was more intimate, expressed the words he didn’t yet know how to say.

This slow coupling, this was so unlike anything he’d experienced before. There was no rush to the end to avoid being detected. This didn’t feel like just giving into an urge and needing release. He couldn’t say just why, only this felt different, more meaningful.

They continued kissing as her other leg wrapped around his hip. He kept his movements slow, wanting to make it last as long as he could. Relishing in the difference from earlier. Much too soon for his liking she was arching against him, crying his name out softly. He kept his face close to hers, his eyes locked with hers. Shy smiles between them. He found it strange that they could both seem so unsure, so timid while he was connected to her like this. His hand ran along her face, into her hair as they just watched each other while he continued to move. He had expected the slow build would result in a less intense release. Instead it nearly took him by surprise. He felt the build up for a while, that was exciting, but the actual release nearly knocked him back. His balls felt so tight, his abdomen quivered. It felt like it would never end. He was unable to keep his eyes open, his nose fell against her neck as he cried out, filling her, feeling like the world was slipping away.

Anders rolled off her, feeling more sated than he could ever recall. He searched for her lips, and she happily returned the kiss. When he had pictured what it would be like to be free, to escape, he imagined dalliances, nights with different women as if sampling at a buffet. But here, in this tent, he found he no longer had that desire to look elsewhere. He couldn’t imagine finding anyone that entranced him more than the woman beside him now.

Kat laid next to him, looking at the ceiling of the tent with a soft smile on her face. The gentleness, the affection of this morning was in such contrast to the night before, and she found it meant more. Every pore of her body felt like it was sated, happy. Anders’ hand drew lazy circles on her arm, his eyes were closed, but the pure bliss on his face showed he was feeling the same. She tried to calm her thoughts. Watching him as he rested, she knew she could very easily fall for him, but making herself so open, vulnerable, scared her.

She sat up, knowing she’d need to see what damage the storm had caused the night before, looking down at him, his eyes now open, just as happy looking as his face. Her eyes grew wide as they fell on his back. How had she not noticed before? There were plenty of times he’d walked around camp without a shirt, but she realized now, she’d never seen his back before, only his front. There were scars, long and harsh looking, covering his back. The unmistakable marks from a whip.

He felt her hand softly touch his back and he knew why.

“Anders?” her voice soft, she sounded hurt.

He rolled over and sat up. “Hey, it’s ok.” He touched her face.

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s not. It’s far from ok. It’s not even anywhere in the vicinity of ok. I don’t care what you did, those… those bastards.”

Anders looked at her with amazement. Tears were falling down her face. She was crying. For him. He didn’t even cry about it anymore, it had just become something he blocked out, but she...she cared, enough that seeing that he’d been hurt had hurt her. He kissed her, soft a first, then a little more demanding, wanting to show her how much it meant to him that she cared.

“Anders, I’m so sorry they did that to you. Maker, as if I didn’t hate them enough to begin with. I would rip them to shreds if I could.” She crawled into his lap, still watching his face, and he wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll never let them touch you again.”

Anders pulled her closer and kissed her again. No one had worried over him like this since Karl, it felt nice, warm, to have someone want to keep him safe. Someone to care, to make him feel like he actually _did_ matter.

***

Kat dug a new fire pit, the old one having been flooded from the rain the day before. Her eyes kept watching the mage as he used his powers to dry out their (mostly her) belongings. She couldn’t understand the attachment to him, it was unlike her to open up to someone so quick, to trust. It was definitely unlike her to have sex with someone she barely knew. But there was just something different about him. The moment she had laid eyes on him, really looked, she could tell. He was a Circle mage, that much was clear, and that alone would have been enough for her to help him. She knew enough about the reality of the Circles to know that no one should ever live there.

But it was something more. When she had looked into his eyes, besides fear, which was probably from the knife she had at his throat, there was also kindness. How did someone come out of a place like that and still remain kind? It was that mystery that drew her in. As she talked with him she found he also possessed a lot of her same qualities, lots of flirtation and humor. She wondered if, like her, his was to cover up pain. Given he was in the Circle, that would make sense. She had been trying to keep it casual, no emotion, but then she’d had the nightmare of her mother and what might be happening to her right now in the Circle. He had held her, he’d made it, well, not ok, but better at least. She’d been able to fall asleep because of the comfort he provided. After that, she knew she was fighting a losing battle with her own emotions.

Anders turned and gave her a quick smile before turning his attention back to the tent. Her insides fluttered, she wasn’t naive enough to think sex equaled love or affection of any kind really. She had no idea if he felt the same about her as she was starting to feel about him. Kat had met enough Circle escapees to know that sex was just sex, nothing more in the Circle. Still, she could hope, or at least fantasize, for a few more days until her companions arrived and everything changed, breaking their small paradise.

She walked over to him and felt her heart speed up when Anders gave her that soft smile again. “Do you want to learn how to fish?” She asked him as she reached in her bag and pulled out a spool of twine and a hook..

“Sure.” He ran the back of his fingers along her unscarred cheek and kissed her softly. Kat tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

Kat helped Anders pick out a good stick for the fishing pole and then showed him how to tie the twine to make the reel. They sat side by side on the bank of the water waiting for a catch. Anders put his arm around Kat and she leaned her head to rest along his shoulder.

“Are you sure your team will like me?” Anders sounded more curious than concerned.

“Absolutely, they’re a good lot. Odd, but good. Plus, you’re hard not to like.” Kat looked up at him with that smile of hers that just melted him.

“I think you may be a little biased.” He teased.

“True.” Kat snuggled back into his side, wanting to enjoy the closeness of another.

“Where did you grow up?”

“Small town near Southmere. We lived on the lands of a local farmer.” She sounded happy. “You?”

“Near the Korcari Wilds, Rossleigh. Hey. HEY. I got something. Or something has me, bloody hell, I think I may have caught a dragon.” Anders gripped the pole as something tugged on the other end.

“You certainly did.” She laughed helping him to pull in his catch. “They tend to feel stronger than actual size. Still, you got something!”

While Anders stood on the shore trying to hold on, Kat waded into the water, her hand along the twine helping to pull in the catch. She pulled out a fish large enough to feed them both for the rest of the day easily.

“Good job.” Kat beamed at him as she handed him the line still holding the fish. Anders looked very proud of himself, which warmed her heart. She pulled in her line. “Let’s head back to camp, shall we?”

***

After their dinner was cooked and in their bellies, Anders found a tree to lean against and gaze up at the stars. Kat returned from the water with the now cleaned dishes and he watched as she walked across the camp to put them in her pack. He felt happy, just watching her, similar to how he had felt with Karl. Her presence made him happy, her smile made him giddy, and when he could make her blush, he felt like he was ten feet tall. Kat looked over in his direction and gave a small smile as she walked over to where he sat.

“You look content.” He did, too; more relaxed than she had seen him since meeting him.

Anders reached out his hand and pulled her down to sit between his legs, her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head upon her shoulder. “I like sitting here, watching the stars. I’d only ever catch glimpses of them before, being able to sit out here, and just look at them all...it’s invigorating.”

“They don’t have windows in the circle?” She realized she shouldn’t be surprised. Every time she learned something of the Circles it was worse than before.

“Just slots, really. I could see just a sliver of sky sometimes, but this, it’s so vast. Look.” One arm squeezed her closer as he pointed up at a shooting star.

Kat leaned back, resting fully against him as she watched. “I’ve heard that when you see one, it means someone you love is thinking of you at that moment.”

“So, are you?” He nuzzled his nose into her hair sending a shiver down her.

“Am I what?” She sounded confused.

“Are you thinking of me?” His lips caressed the top of her ear and she pressed herself against him harder, his arm tightened around her torso holding her there. His question made little sense, how could she think of anything _but_ him while he was doing that. Her mind replayed their exchange trying to figure out why he would ask that and then she froze and pulled away, just enough to look at him.

“Don’t joke like that. It’s not funny.” She scolded him softly, her face crestfallen. Anders looked at her confused unsure how it was that he could have hurt her.

“Kat? What makes you think I’m joking?” He cupped her right cheek gently in his hand, his thumb running along it. “I know it’s only been a few days but…”

Kat quickly stood up and walked away from him. “You can’t.”

Anders scrambled to his feet to stand by her. “It’s ok if you don’t feel the same. I…”

“Why are you making fun of me?” Tears were forming in her eyes.

Anders watched her, bewildered. He couldn’t figure out how this upset her so much. Even if this was just a dalliance for her, he would expect that she would try to let him down easy, not be so upset about it. “What makes you think I’m being anything but honest?” Hurt echoed in his voice that she didn’t believe him.

Kat pushed away as he tried to move closer, tears running down her face. “Because you can’t. No one can! Look at me.” She held her hands out in front of her. He looked but he saw nothing but his dragon hunter falling apart. “I’m scarred, hideous.” She turned away from him again wiping away angry tears from her face. She never thought he would be cruel, but her heart was crushed to see how wrong she was.

Anders stormed up to her and turned her around, his hands holding her arms in a tight grip so she couldn’t walk away from him again. His voice harsher than he meant it to be. “Don’t you dare.” She flinched and he softened his voice. “Kat, don’t you dare say that. You’re beautiful. You think because of this,” his hand brushed along the scar on her left cheek, “that I couldn’t care for you? This doesn’t make you less beautiful. Everything about you...not just looks, everything. Maker, you make my head spin. I have no idea what I’m doing here, what is normal or not. I just know when I look at you that for the first time ever I feel calm. You are perfection. This,” he cradled her cheek, “this doesn’t take away from that. This is part of you, part of your story. I adore every bit of you.”

She shook her head. “You can’t…”

“But I do.” He kissed her before she could argue with him any further. His lips soft, holding her face with both hands gently so that she could move away if she wished. Slowly she began returning the kiss, her arms touched his hips. He whispered her name against her lips. Slowly he pulled away, reaching for her hand. “Let me show you.” She nodded and allowed him to lead her to the tent.

***

Anders leaned up on his elbow and looked down at her, lying on her back looking sated and blissful at him. He brushed the hair from her face and then touched her left cheek gently. “What happened?”

Kat’s eyes darted away.

“Kat, I don’t want us to have any secrets between us. Tell me, I promise it won’t change what I feel about you. Was this from those Templars?” He watched her face closely.

Her eyes returned to his, searching, perhaps looking for the truth in his words. She closed her eyes gently and shook her head. She opened them back up and began to speak. “It was about four years ago. There used to be more people in my hunting party. Two men, Mercer and Carter. Mercer...he was my partner. We were in love, we’d talked about marriage, maybe even settling down, leaving hunting. Carter was a rogue, a very talented one. Apparently he decided he should lead instead of me one day. He attacked me when I was on my way back from the water, I didn’t have my weapon.”

Anders gut clenched, unsure he wanted to hear what was to come next.

“I guess he thought he could just kill me since I was alone. He didn’t take into account two things. The first is that I don’t need a weapon to fight. I was able to fight him well enough to keep his blade from anything vital, but not from keeping him from giving me this.” Her hand touched her cheek. “I nearly lost my eye from that attack...had it not been for Christophe…”

“What was the second thing?” Anders knew this was hard for her, he was humbled that she had agreed to share this with him.

“He forgot to check if anyone else in the party wanted to follow him. The others must have heard us fighting. The mage, Christophe, he struck Carter with a lightning bolt and Mercer stabbed him, he was dead before he hit the ground.” She closed her eyes again.

Anders knelt down to kiss the tears falling down the side of her face. “I’m so glad they found you, that you survived.”

Kat opened her eyes and looked at him, her hand touching his cheek. Anders tilted his head to kiss her palm. “You said Mercer left too? Why did you mention him, was he involved with this?”

Kat shook her head. “Christophe, he did what he could to heal me, but his specialty is the elements, fire, water and lightning, not healing. But he was able to save my life and my eye. I remember him apologizing about the scar and just thinking how that was so odd for him to do so. He’d saved me, what did a scar matter when I was going to live. Then Mercer saw me.”

Kat turned her head to the side, away from Anders so he could no longer see her jagged cheek. “He told me he no longer found me beautiful, that he couldn’t love someone as maimed as me. To prove his point he spent all his coin in the brothel of the next town we went to. Shortly after that he left our party.”

“He’s a blighted fool.” Anders lightly caressed her shoulder with the very tips of his fingers.

“It wasn’t just him.” Kat looked at him again. His face, so full of kindness, she wondered how she could have missed how he felt, when it was so clearly on his face right now as he looked at her. “Since then no one has ever so much as flirted with me. We travel all over, when we stay in towns it’s usually at low end taverns, you wouldn’t expect the men there to be as picky. But not once has anyone tried, ever.”

“Then they’re blind, because you are a wonder.” Anders kissed her lips softly, smiling as he felt her hand weave into his hair. Kat let out a contented sigh beneath him as he rolled onto his back and pulled her into the crook of his arm. “Thank you for telling me that, I know it wasn’t easy, but I feel like I know you more now.” He kissed the top of her head as she nuzzled into his chest.

“Goodnight Anders.” She squeezed her arm around his waist.

“Goodnight my beautiful Kat.”

***

The following afternoon Fredrick returned, startling Anders just as much as the last time. “Hey Kat, you have a visitor.”

She appeared from the tent and looked around, and grinned when she saw her hawk. She pulled jerky out of her bag and tossed it to him as she approached to remove the paper around his leg. “What do you have for me, boy?” She pet the bird while Anders maintained his distance.

“How do you expect to face a dragon when a bird scares you?” She teased as she unrolled the paper. She read the contents and let out a laugh. A quick note written and attached to Fredrick and he was off again.

“What’s so funny?” Anders asked feeling safe to move about the camp again. She handed him the note without a word.

_Boss -_

_We found a merchant kind enough to give us a ride in his wagon in exchange for protection, which has significantly shortened the travel time. Expect to be to you tomorrow or the next day. Pretty sure this guy think’s I’m a bald druffalo based on the comments he keeps making to Peri._

“I don’t get it.” Anders shrugged.

“He’s a qunari. And you know about Christophe, and then there’s a rogue, Tambor and then Peri, a warrior.” Kat’s lip quivered a little.

“Something bothering you?” He watched her face. She shook her head, no trace of worry on her face anymore.

“Looks like we only have one more day of alone time. Expect some hazing, but they’re a good group, they’ll just want to make sure you’re a decent person. Once they see you are, they’ll treat you as one of their own.” She touched his arm reassuringly.

Anders wrapped his arms around her and pressed his forehead to hers. “So what you’re saying is I better enjoy you being loud while I can?”

Kat snorted. “Yes, but only because I don’t feel like being teased mercilessly by Christophe.”

Anders nuzzled his nose into her hair and just held her close. He loved being able to just reach out for her whenever he wanted, to hold her without fear of retribution. To just be. He hoped that wouldn’t change when the others arrived. She had assured him that besides possibly some good natured teasing from them, nothing had to change.

Anders pulled her down as he sat and she settled onto his lap. “So since I have you still all to myself, I want to get to know you more. I don’t want us to have any secrets.”

“What do you want to know?” She kissed his cheek, moving down to his jaw. He hummed appreciatively.

“Favorite color?”

“Blue. Yours?”

He looked at her and brushed her cheek. He looked into her eyes. “Green.”

She blushed knowing he was referring to her eyes. “My turn, favorite food.”

“Apples.”

Kat grinned, “Mine is pancakes. My ma used to make them every Sunday morning.” She smiled wistfully at the memory.

Anders kissed her cheek. “That’s sweet. Ok, favorite childhood memory.”

“My father teaching me how to shoot a bow.” She smirked.

“I thought you used blades.”

“Usually, but I know how to use a bow if I need. What’s yours?”

“When I was little, my mother used to sing to me as she tucked me in. I can’t remember her voice anymore, but I can still remember her doing that.” Anders smirked. “Next Question.”

“Ok….um, biggest fear?”

“Being made tranquil. I can’t think of anything worse than being cut off from the Fade. The tranquil at the Circle, they were lifeless.” Anders let out a shudder.

Kat kissed his lips softly. “I’ll never let that happen to you, I swear it.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Anders looked at her affectionately. “Your turn.”

Kat bit her lip and looked away. “How about we just go with that?”

“No, just tell me. It’s ok.” Anders gently turned her head back to face him.

She let out a sigh. “No secrets?”

“No.” He gave her a reassuring smile.

“I’m afraid that you’re going to take one look at Peri and forget all about me.” She looked down at her hands.

“Maker, that ass really did a number on you.” Anders sighed and tilted her face up to look at him. “I swear to you that will never happen.”

“You haven’t seen her yet. She’s beautiful.” Kat sighed.

“Doesn’t matter, you’re exquisite. I’m yours, Kat. I won’t leave you.” As if to make his point his kissed her soundly.

When she finally pulled away her eyes were hazy, but she was smiling. “If I argue the point will you kiss me like that again?”

Anders chuckled at her, he found her adorable.

“Cause you know…” She smirked. He took the hint and kissed her again. “Mmm. you are good for my self esteem. Although this just encourages me to argue with you.” She giggled. “I...I have something I wanted to give you, but, well…”

“What is it?” He’d not received a gift since entering the Circle. The thought that she had something she wished to give him filled him with warmth.

“You might not like it.” She got up and dug in her bag, returning a moment later to his lap holding something in her hand. “It’s ok if you don’t like it, I just...I used to have two, but I lost the other one somewhere along the way. My mother gave this to me when I turned sixteen.”

“Kat…” Anders smirked at her. “You don’t have to give it to me if it means giving away something from her.”

“I want you to have it. It’s special, yes, but that’s why I want you to have it. It’s ok if you don’t like it.” She bit her lip.

Anders held out his hand and kissed her cheek. He felt something in the palm of his hand and looked down to see a gold hoop earring.

“I know it’s dumb. You really don’t have…”

Anders took the stud out of his right ear and put the gold hoop in it’s place. “I love it.”

“You do?” Kat blushed, sounding surprised and happy.

“I do.” Anders kissed her softly.

***

The next morning Anders had spent with butterflies in his stomach at the knowledge that at any moment her companions would arrive and judge him. In the Circle he never gave a second thought to if someone liked him or not. In fact, he enjoyed annoying the Templars, especially the one his friend Solona had a crush on, Cullen. This was new, the desire for people he’d never even met to like him. It felt important because they were important to Kat.

“Come on.” The woman in question smiled at him. “Let’s see if we can’t find a ram or deer so that there’s plenty to eat when the others arrive.”

“We’re not using a shovel this time, right?” He teased her.

“No.” She rolled her eyes at him.

Anders walked beside her as she twirled her blades. “You are irresistibly sexy when you do that.”

“If the last several days are any indication, you find me irresistible no matter what I do.” She smirked at him.

“True.” He nodded.

“You are very good for my ego.” Kat blushed.

She stopped walking so suddenly that Anders nearly crashed into her.

“Wh…” he was cut off by her hand over his mouth as she pushed him against a tree. His hands found her hips and pulled her close, his thumbs running along her hip bone. He stopped when he saw the look of seriousness she was giving him as she held her finger to her lips to tell him to be quiet.

Slowly she peeked around a tree and her heart jumped into her throat. They were too far away to see her and Anders, but she could tell from the armor. Templars! Two of them. Anders peeked beside her and she could feel his grip tighten with fear. They were headed towards them, if they ran there’s no way the Templars wouldn’t spot them. Another ten minutes and they’d be upon them.

“Anders, I’m going to take off that way, draw their attention. Once they follow me you need to run, as far as you can.” Kat looked at him with fear.

“Maker no, I’m not leaving you.” He shook his head, determined.

“Anders, please. I can’t lose you to them. I’d rather separate and know you’re safe than risk them hurting you. Please. For me please do this.” She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“Kat, no. I need you.” Anders put his forehead to hers.

“Anders, run. You have to. We’re going to Highever to charter a ship to the Free Marches. Meet us there in four days. There’s a tavern, the Blue Goose. We’ll be there. Run, find us in Highever.” She kissed him, her tongue pressing into his mouth. A moment later she was running in the opposite direction, towards the Templars.

Anders held back the lump in his throat as he watched. The two men heard her and turned, taking off in a run after her, away from him. _Please Maker, keep her safe, let me find her in Highever._

He did as she told him and took off in a run once he was sure they were too far away to hear him. He ran through the woods, dodging fallen trees. He wasn’t even sure what direction he was going in, only knowing for now he had to get away. Once safe he could figure out a way to Highever. Tears filled his eyes as he ran, and he wiped them so they wouldn’t blur his vision. He never understood the word heartache, but now, as he ran, his heart felt like it was doing just that. _No, you’ll find her, it’s just a few days, don’t think like that. Don’t panic, don’t…_

All his thoughts stopped abruptly as he collapsed on the ground, the effects of a Holy Smite. _No, NO!_

Anders tried to get up, to run but his legs were jelly beneath him. “No!” He cried out in frustration.

“Well, well. Looks like we found our missing mage after all.” He heard behind him just before the world went dark.

***

They were right behind her, gaining. _How are they so fast in armor?_ She wondered, frustrated. When she got to the clearing that held their camp they were steps behind her.

“Ay! You ain’t no mage.” One of the Templars growled at her. “But you was helpin’ him, weren’t ya?”

Kat twirled her blades. She was going to gut these two and then find him and let him know it was safe again. The two Templars advanced, drawing their swords. Kat was able to dodge and parry, blocking their hits with her own blades. Their armor made it harder for them to move as quickly as her as she ducked between them and out of the way.

One of the Templars charged her, she stepped out of the way just in time, her blade finding his neck. As he ran by he took one of her blades with him. She turned to see him crumble, clawing helplessly as his life bled through the cut on his neck. She heard a squawk and a second later Fredrick was clawing at the other Templar, removing his helmet. Before she could react, the Templar smashed the bird with his shield into a tree, effectively squashing him.

“Fredrick.” Kat cried out in pain. She was going to kill him for sure.

She and the remaining Templar circled each other. The man charged her, but unlike his dying companion, he was aware enough to have his helmet back on. He slammed into her, knocking her other blade from her hand. She scrambled up just in time for him to charge at her again.

“Where is the mage?” He growled.

“You’ll never find him.” She huffed.

She dodged out of the way but her foot slipped, and he was able to take the advantage. The Templar readied his blade and advanced quickly. Just a few feet away from her he suddenly flew through the air and slammed into a tree, falling dead, or very very badly hurt based on the sound of cracking bones she heard. Her eyes returned to the spot that he had been at and a grin came across her face seeing the Qunari there.

“Couldn’t wait for us, could you, Boss?” He held his hand out to help her up.

“Bull.” She grinned at him. “Perfect timing as usual.”

“Where’s this mystery man?” Peri asked looking around the camp.

“That’s why these two idiots were here. You all rested? We need to get to Highever to meet him.” She shook hands with her companions. Ten minutes later they had her packed and they were on the road again.

_I’ll see you in a few days, Anders. Just stay safe a few days._

***

Anders awoke to the sound of growling. His head throbbed, he felt for his mana and was able to find enough to direct at the pain before opening his eyes. The minute he did, he wanted to close them again. He stood up quickly and slammed his back against the far wall of the cage he was in.

The two templars that had captured him stood before him, their back to him, but that wasn’t what had him afraid. It was the five --- demons maybe? Whatever they were there was five of them and they were advancing and the Templar’s weapons seemed to have no effect. He heard one of them scream as he fell, the creatures quickly tearing into him. Anders turned his face away in disgust at the gore. He heard the other Templar scream followed by a squelching noise.

“Sorry, but apostate is not on the menu tonight.” Anders cast a firestorm and watched as the creatures screamed out, catching on fire before collapsing. He raced for the front of the cage and reached as far as he could trying to get the keys on the belt of one of the fallen Templars. He could hear the scraping noise of something approach, he really didn’t want to be here to find out what. He continued trying to stretch, grasping with just the tips of his fingers. Finally they caught enough of the loop and the keys fell towards him. Anders snatched them up and fumbled with the lock. Whatever was coming was getting closer, he tried to ignore the panic he felt creeping up his spine. He dropped the keys and cursed as he picked them back up. _Come on, come on!_ Finally the tumblers clicked and the door swung open, and not a moment too soon as three more of those...things rounded the corner. Anders cast another round of fire. Just as the last of the creatures fell he heard a door open behind him.

In the doorway stood a very tall, noble looking red haired man with a sword, beside him a smaller, dark haired warrior.

“Er...I didn’t do it.” Anders shook his head praying he hadn’t run into something worse than the Templars.

***

Bull stretched by the fire. “Calling it a night. Should be in Highever tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Bull.” Kat nodded. She still couldn’t stop the butterflies in her stomach. Tomorrow, she’d see him tomorrow. She turned towards Christophe. The Tevinter’s black hair was nearly as long as Kat’s, woven into a braid. He was currently playing with a ball of light in his hand. “I’m going to walk the perimeter.”

“Nerves?” He tilted his head. He was part of her troop, but also had become her best friend over the seven years they’d known each other. He was the only one she told all the details of her time with Anders to, knowing he wouldn’t judge.

She nodded and rose from the fire with a stretch.

“If you’re not back in fifteen, I’m coming to look for you,” Christophe warned as she left.

Kat walked softly through the forest, the moonlight just peeking through here and there. She heard a man’s voice, but it sounded different somehow, almost echoing. He was talking, but try as she might, she couldn’t hear a response. Kat pulled out a blade for safety and stepped through the trees.

Before her paced a Grey Warden. Only, he looked abnormal. Well more that that, he was glowing. Glowing was definitely not normal. And he seemed to be dead. Dead, glowing, walking and talking Grey Warden most assuredly not usual.

Kat froze as the Warden turned, his dead eyes seeming to find her.

“Are you...are you a friend?” He asked in the echoing voice she had heard before.

“I’m a friend of no demon.” Kat snarled.

“I am no demon,” The glowing Warden replied angrily. “I am Justice.”

Kat cocked her head and looked at him, it, Justice. “You’re too late then. Could have used you ten years ago, or even three days ago. But today, Justice does me no good.”

“I...I am confused. I find this world confusing. I had helped someone, we stopped a demon. But he left, Vigil’s Keep he said. And now I find I am unsure of my purpose. This world is too confusing.” The Warden began pacing again. “Why do you say there is no Justice? Do you have need for me to set something right?” Perhaps he had found the reason for his being in this strange place.

Kat leaned against a tree. She knew it wasn’t wise to talk with a glowing dead Grey Warden that may or may not be a demon. But she felt like she needed _someone_ to talk to besides Christophe. He’d heard it all before, and she just...certain events had brought it all up again.

“Short of eliminating all the Circles, there’s not much you can do.” She shook her head.

“Circles?” Justice looked at her with what she thought was probably confusion.

She sighed. “It’s where they put those with magic. Doesn’t matter if they’ve never done a thing wrong in their life. Doesn’t matter if they have a family, people that love them. The Templars always find them, pull them away and stick them in a tower where you can never see them again.”

“These people, they are innocents?” Justice asked. Kat nodded. “Then locking them away is not just. Something should be done.”

“That was my point.” Kat nodded.

“Kat?”

She looked to the side to find Christophe looking relieved. “I’m happy to see you. Less happy to see you talking with a dead Grey Warden.” He eyed Justice suspiciously.

“Christophe, meet Justice. Justice, Christophe.” Kat pointed with her blade.

“Er...nice to meet you. My dear,” Christophe looked at Kat with a stern look. “Perhaps we should head back to camp now.”

Kat nodded. “Ok sure, long day tomorrow anyway. Goodbye Justice, I hope you find your cause.”

“I thank you,” Justice nodded.

As they entered camp, Christophe scolded her. “Really, thought I taught you better than to make nice with demons.”

“He said he’s not a demon. He’s Justice.” Kat reasoned.

“Yes, because demons are known for their honesty.” He rolled his eyes at her.

***

He looked up at the night sky, the stars were out. It seemed a lifetime ago, but really only a week and a half since he’d watched these same stars holding her in his arms. He’d tried to leave, to head out, but he had been stopped. Warden Commander, Fenton Cousland, had made it clear that Anders served the Wardens now. It had saved him from Tranquility, and made him now untouchable by the Templars, but it had come at a cost, his freedom.

A shooting star flew across the sky as he watched the stars.

“I’m sorry, Kat.” He touched the hoop in his ear and closed his eyes.

***

“Boss.”

She looked at the wall where The Iron Bull stood and shook her head. “No.”

“We waited three extra days already. We need to...we have a contract, Boss.” He looked at her sympathetically.

She looked at the tavern door as it opened. She stood, hopeful, as she saw a blonde enter. That hope fell back into her stomach hard when instead of a certain mage, the hair belonged to an elf with a tattoo on his cheek. He was talking in Antivan to a redheaded chantry sister.

Kat plopped back down on the couch she had been occupying for days now, and nodded. Finally relenting. Her heart broke as she looked around at the room. _What happened?_

They boarded a ship an hour later. Kat stood on the bridge and watched as Highever got further and further away. Once she couldn’t see it anymore, she went to the cabin and didn’t leave until they had arrived in the Free Marches.


	3. Awakenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat tries to move on while Anders learns just why the Deep Roads suck so much.  
> We get to meet Kat's party as well, the little family they are.  
> Nathaniel tries to give Anders some advice, which he probably won't listen to.

**** The knife slid skillfully under the scales separating them from the body. The strip was rolled carefully and then placed in a sack.

“Cut off about fifty pounds of meat for us to make jerky and then let them have the rest.” Kat instructed her team, tilting her head to the villagers that were waiting nearby. It was clear from the moment they had arrived that the village was full of residents who were incredibly poor and would most likely not survive the winter without food. The dragon that had been nearby made it unlikely they’d even survive that long. Two days after their team had arrived, Kat and the rest had solved both those problems for them.

“Serrah, Messere, we don’t have money to pay you.” The mayor approached her and Christophe looking bashful.

“The scales and teeth will more than pay for us. I hope the meat is enough for your people to survive the winter.” Christophe shook the mayor’s hand while Kat returned to slicing off the scales.

“Messere. This is beyond generous.” The mayor hugged Christophe who sputtered with surprise.

“Hey, no man-handling the Vint.” Kat called over with a chuckle.

“I never hear complaints from him.” Bull called over from where he was carving the meat.

“Did not need to hear that!” Peri put her hands over her ears in mock protest, smiling the whole time to show she meant it in jest.

“Trust me, we  _ all _ hear that, every time we kill one of these beasts.” Tambor groaned as Kat playfully slapped his arm.

Kat laughed quietly at their banter. This group of misfits had become her family long ago, and their playful teasing showed they all felt the same about each other too.

Another hour later they had said their goodbyes and were on their way back to camp. Christophe linked arms with Kat. “It’s good to hear you laugh again.”

She leaned her head on his arm. “I guess Bull was right, a dragon hunt did help raise my spirits. Just wish I knew what happened to Anders. Did something happen to him or did he just take the opportunity to leave m…”

“Stop. That’s Mercer talking not you.” Christophe cut her off.

“He might not have been wrong.” Kat shrugged, still holding his arm.

Christophe stopped and turned her to face him. “Listen to me Katrina Starlin, you are worthy of love. Mercer was a jackass before you were injured. You just didn’t see it until then. You’re worth a hundred of him, and from what you told me, I think this Anders cared for you very much. So you just push all that negativity out of your head.” He kissed her cheek having said his peace.

“I love you Toff” She snuggled into his arms.

“And I you, my dear.” He gave her a squeezing hug and then they turned to catch up with the others.

A few hours later their camp was set for the night, with a small fire at the center. Peri sat beside Kat and started quietly singing a song in her native Antivan. She had a soft voice when she sang, and always quieted the camp so they could listen. It had a soothing quality, one that reminded Kat of the lullabies her mother used to sing to her as a child, the happy memory always warming her heart.

The songs Peri sang always sounded sweet, but Peri had revealed to her just how dirty most of the songs lyrics actually were. Kat didn’t know what they words Peri were currently singing meant, but based on the twinkle in her eyes and the smirk when she tilted her head in Kat’s direction to take the sword oil from her, it was probably pretty lewd, which in turn, made Kat laugh.

“Do you have a buyer for the haul?” She asked Tambor, indicating the bags containing the scales and teeth.

“Aye.” The elf nodded. “A Grey Warden. Says the Warden Commander of Ferelden is looking to have armor created, has some armorer that is a wiz with it I guess. Anyway we can meet with him at port when we get to the coast and he’ll pay us then.”

“It’s for the Hero?” Kat asked sounding starstruck. “I saw him in Denerim. He walked not ten feet from me. You’d like him.” She turned to Christophe. “He was definitely a looker.”

Christophe chuckled. “Mmm. Perhaps the evil Vint could corrupt the Ferelden Hero and the King in one swoop.” 

Tambor let out a hearty laugh. “Well now we know what he’ll be dreaming of tonight.” 

*** 

Anders tossed a card into the pile and drew another. 

“How is it that you will lie to your friends about what cards you have in your hand? How is this considered honorable?” 

“It’s called ‘bluffing’, Justice, and it’s part of the game.” Fenton Cousland tried once again to explain to the spirit.

“I do not understand. The dwarf has nothing that matches yet he bets as if he does.”

“Sodding...you and I are going to have words. Loud words!” Oghren threw down his cards into the pile as Nathaniel chuckled.

Fenton slid a fresh mug of ale in front of Oghren and pulled Justice from the table as the dwarf was momentarily distracted. “We’ll just go for a walk. Be up at first light everyone.”

“You really shouldn’t be so short with him.” Anders exchanged a smirk with Nathaniel.

“Oh har har! What’s with the dress, mage?” Oghren took a large gulp of his ale.

“It’s a robe, and it’s all the rage in the Circle. Allows for easy access.” Anders waggled his eyebrow.

“I meant that it seems to be moving at the moment.” Oghren grunted.

“That would be Ser Pounce.” Anders pet his pocket which purred in response.

“Why’d you bring that beast here?” Oghren took another drink.

Anders exchanged a knowing look with Nathaniel. The rogue grinned wide, having often reaped the benefits of Anders’ next move. Anders pulled out the kitten into his arms and within seconds he was surrounded by three women, all cooing over Ser Pounce and leaning all over him to pet the cat.

“Sodding bastard.” Oghren grumbled. “Anytime I pull something furry out of my clothing the women all run away.”

“Hi.” Anders said softly to the elven woman, Namaya, sitting beside him. 

She blushed and returned his greeting. It was not the first time she’d met him, often looking for any excuse to talk to the blonde Warden when she’d see them in Amaranthine. It wasn’t just his beauty, but the sad, distant look in his eyes that contradicted his laughter and smile. It drew her in, made her want to figure out why he had that haunting look.

“You want to go somewhere more private?” He asked her and her heart skipped a beat. She nodded emphatically.

Anders handed Pounce off to Nathaniel who proudly took the cat as it also meant the two other women were now pressed on either side of him and talking with him. 

“So, either of you ladies ever been with a noble before?” Nathaniel added in a little extra smoulder to seal the deal. They both shook their heads and giggled.

Oghren watched agog as Nathaniel handed Pounce off to him, placing his arms around the two women and following the same path up the stairs of the inn as Anders had just walked with the elf.

Fenton returned a few minutes later. “You win?”

Oghren handed the Hero the much passed around, and now sleeping, kitten. “No, but those two morons managed to. Apparently that cat you found has magical powers to make women swoon.”

Fenton chuckled. “Can’t speak for Anders, but Nate’s always had a way with the women, doubt he needed Pounce here to help with that. Best find your way to your room, we leave early in the morning.”

The next morning Fenton leaned on the wall of the tavern with an amused expression as he watched both Anders and Nathaniel stumble towards him with obvious hangovers. He handed a sack over to Anders who looked confused as to what he could be handing him. The mage opened the pack and laughed, seeing the sleeping kitten on the bottom. Bag placed over his shoulder, they left to meet up with Oghren and Justice near the entrance to the Deep Roads.

Oghren and Fenton led the way, both having spent months in them before, though not in this part of them.

“What is it we search for?” Justice asked after an hour of silence from the group, partially because Fenton and Oghren were looking for signs of Darkspawn activity, and partially because the other two still appeared to be dealing with the aftereffects from the alcohol.

“I suspect there’s a broodmother down here. If we can eliminate her, the amount of Darkspawn in these parts should dwindle.” Fenton explained.

They walked for hours, not a sign of Darkspawn, which wasn’t abnormal given how close to the surface they still were. By the time they’d settled in for the night, or what they all assumed was night, they’d only stumbled upon four Darkspawn the whole day.

“Maybe we should have brought Sig,” Fenton pondered. “She might have had more of a clue on how to find this broodmother.”

“I’m more concerned about where the Darkspawn have disappeared to. Two days ago the farms were full of them.” Anders frowned as he lit their fire.

“You set up wards, right?” Fenton looked around into the darkness.

“I did.” Anders nodded. “You should get sleep, it’ll be your watch before long.”

Fenton and Oghren bade their goodbyes before heading to their respective tents. Justice, apparently not needing any sleep, walked off to watch the far perimeter, and Nathaniel pulled out the cards for him and Anders to play Diamondback.

“You need to be careful with that elf.” Nathaniel commented as he dealt.

“Which elf?” Anders picked up the cards.

“From the tavern. She has it bad for you.” Nathaniel frowned at his cards. Anders chuckled, for a rogue, he was awful at bluffing.

“I didn’t make her any promises for anything more than one night.” Anders enjoyed the camaraderie he shared with Howe. The rest of the Wardens were friendly, but with this man he’d found a kindred spirit, someone who also looked to find enjoyment where he could.

“Trust me. It’s not like the Circle. She’s smitten with you, she’s going to start thinking you feel the same if you’re not careful.” Nathaniel tossed in a card and drew another. “That is unless you feel the same?”

Anders shook his head as he discarded and picked up another. “Letting emotions get mixed up with sex just gives you a broken heart in the end. I’ve already learned that lesson.”

Nathaniel raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Based on the tone, there was definitely a story there, but one the blonde clearly didn’t want to share, so he decided not to press it. “Fair enough, just watch your back in case she turns into one of those stalker types.”

“Sounds like you have a story.” Anders smirked at him.

Nathaniel chuckled. “Daughter of the Arl of Southreach, Tessa. I was, hmm, fifteen. All my teenage mind cared about was getting to touch a breast.” He exchanged another card as he and Anders laughed at the comment. “At a ball three weeks later I made the fatal mistake, apparently, of dancing with another girl. Tessa threw wine on the girl’s dress later that night, supposedly by accident. I went on a horseback ride with the Baan of Whiteriver’s youngest, her hair is mysteriously chopped off in her sleep a week later. On and on for a year.”

“How’d you get her to stop?” Anders raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t. She apparently tried to intimidate Fenton’s sister, Elissa, after seeing us talk,  _ talk,  _ at Fenton’s Nameday luncheon. Elissa gave her a bloody nose for the trouble and Tessa left me alone after that.” Nathaniel grinned wide at the memory.

“Don’t cross paths with the future Queen. Got it.” Anders smirked. He looked up to say more, but his follow up comment died in his throat as he saw Nathaniel’s face fall for just a second, before he covered it up again with his smirk.

The remainder of their watch passed by fairly uneventful, the two exchanging stories from their misspent youth. Despite being in the Circle, Anders had been quite the troublemaker, something he and Nathaniel had in common.

Three days later, they found the Darkspawn.  _ A lot  _ of them. All congregated in a pit far below where the Wardens stood safely out of sight.

“What do you suppose they’re all doing down there?” Nathaniel whispered.

“Don’t know, but I don’t like it. Last time I saw that many Darkspawn all at once there was an Archdemon.” Fenton grumbled. “Let’s find this broodmother and get out of here.”

They didn’t have long to wait. An hour later they were in a fight with her. Anders stayed to the back, setting off firestorm in between sending barrier spells around Oghren, Fenton and Justice. Far to his left, but back just as far, Nathaniel was shooting arrows in rapid succession, allowing time for Anders to down lyrium when needed.

Anders heard a noise to his right and managed to get up a barrier around himself just in time as a Darkspawn bounced off it. A quick bolt of lightning took care of him and the three others near by. He did a quick look around and didn’t see any others. Fenton seemed to be tiring. Anders took a quick gulp of lyrium and sent rejuvenate to the Commander. Fenton shot up like a spring moments later and leapt several feet in the air, his twin blades slamming through both sides of the Broodmother’s head. She crumpled over herself, dead.

Fenton pulled his blades out. “Maker, she was an ugly one. I mean, not that there’s any cute ones, but I’m glad that’s done. Let’s get out of here.”

They all turned, started walking through the entrance to the cave when Justice spoke.

“Should we not take the noble one’s body with us?”

“What?” Fenton asked confused at the same moment Anders realized there was only four of them on the path.

He ran back into the chamber and his eyes searched frantically. Near the caved in wall, where the other Darkspawn must have entered, he spotted the outline of what appeared to be a body. Anders sprinted towards it, panic building as he realized Howe wasn’t moving. He skidded in front of him and fell to his knees, his magic already spilling from his hands as he heard the others closing in behind him.

He focused, trying to find that spark within his friend, but it wasn’t there. 

“No.” Anders growled to no one in particular as he let loose his magic, pouring it all into Nathaniel. He watched Nathaniel’s chest for even the smallest sign of movement. He could feel his magic begin to drain, his body becoming weak, as if hit by a Holy Smite, but he kept pushing. He was  _ not _ going to lose him, not the first true friend he had left in this world. 

Justice appeared behind him, placed a hand on Anders’ head and a moment later the mage felt as if he’d been hit with a powerful stimulant. He could feel the Fade open as his magic buzzed and continued to pour into the rogue.

“Mage, I don’t think…” Oghren was cut off by Nathaniel letting out a choking cough. He rolled over, and it wasn’t until his eyes opened that Anders finally pulled back his spell.

“Thank the Maker.” Fenton rushed over and helped the rogue to his feet as Anders collapsed from exhaustion.

He awoke some time later to the pattern of shadows bouncing off a cavern wall from the firelight. Anders tried sitting up and grabbed his head as soon as he did, the world spinning.

“Hey, not so quick. You hit your head when you fell.” Anders looked up just as Nathaniel sat beside him. The rogue handed him some jerky and water. “Here, this will help.”

“Thanks,” Anders took a sip of the water.

“No, thank you. Fenton said you brought me back from certain death. I’m not sure how I could ever repay that. Pretty sure that action just pissed off most of Ferelden who’d be more than happy to see the last of the Howe’s be gone.” Nathaniel gave him a concerned look.

“I’ll do my best not to piss off an entire nation again. Buy me a drink later and we’ll call it even.” Anders chuckled and bit into the jerky. 

“You have a deal. Now rest, you’re off duty tonight.” Nathaniel patted Anders back before walking off.

Anders finished his jerky, and checked himself over. After feeling convinced that he did not have a concussion, he lied back down and found sleep soon take over.

***

He was running, pouring his magic into the lifeless body. The rogue’s body started to glow, he could do this, he’d save him. It burst into flames, turning to ash before Anders could do anything but gasp.  _ Gone _ . Anders looked beside him and jumped at the face, his father, beside him.

“You did this, you and that accursed magic. You are a curse on us all.” The elder man growled.

“No!” Anders shot up, drenched in sweat.

“You are awake.”

Anders looked beside him to see Justice looking down at him.

“I hate these bloody Deep Roads. The sooner we’re out of them the better.” Anders grumbled as he stood, trying to shake off the nightmare. He looked over to see Nathaniel asleep, but breathing, off to the side. Fenton was standing a ways off, on his shift. 

Anders walked over to the Commander. “I can take over from here, I’m unlikely to get any more sleep tonight.”

“Nightmares?” Fenton looked concerned. Anders nodded. “It’s because of being in the Deep Roads. The proximity of the Darkspawn makes it worse. It’s even more intense during a blight. Alistair and I barely slept that entire time. You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. No point in both of us losing sleep.” Nathaniel let out a snore and they both turned to look. “Looks like it’s not bothering him any though.” Anders chuckled.

Fenton snorted. “No, definitely not. Goodnight Anders.”

“Night.” Anders nodded and turned to continue the man’s watch.

The next day found them all walking faster than normal, perhaps wanting to get out of the Deep Roads sooner. Nathaniel, Oghren and Fenton were in front. Nathaniel and Fenton entertaining Oghren with stories from their childhood. Justice walked beside Anders.

“You are a mage.” Justice looked at Anders.

“Just catching on to that, are you? What of it?” Anders snapped.

“Did I offend you?” Justice looked at him with confusion, not hurt.

Anders shook his head. “No, no. I’m sorry, this place just has me on edge. What did you want to ask, Justice?”

“I spoke with someone once about mages. She said they take them away from those they love, lock them away in towers.” Justice watched Anders.

“That’s a simplified version, but yes, that’s correct.” Anders nodded.

“And yet, you are not in a Circle?”

“I was,” Anders sighed. “The Wardens are the only reason I’m not back in one now.”

“So if you know of the unjustness of it, why do you not fight to free mages from the Circles?” Justice pondered.

“I barely got myself out, and that took more times than I can count to get it right. I’m just one man, I don’t have the power to do what you’re asking.” Anders gave him a shrug. “If you haven’t noticed, I sort of just stumble around without much of a plan.”

“It is not right to lock an innocent away. In these Circles, the mages are treated well?” Justice asked.

Anders let out an annoyed guffaw. “No, not in the slightest. You are beaten for displeasing the Templars, and just about everything you do displeases them. If you’re really unlucky, they make you Tranquil.”

“Tranquil?”

“That’s when they cut a mage off from the Fade. It not only stops their magical abilities, it cuts off their emotions and their sense of reason. They basically become mindless slaves that will do whatever you tell them, without sense of right or wrong. And believe me, the Templars like to take advantage of that to fill their own sick desires.” Anders growled.

“These Templars should be torn asunder. They do not act for Justice, just the opposite. I will see them pay, they will see Justice.” The spirit nearly yelled.

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Anders mumbled.

“Justice, whatever’s going on back there, declare your crusade a little quieter so you don’t bring the whole horde after us, eh?” Fenton ordered, walking backwards to face him and Anders.

***

Anders’ hands were bound behind his back. A strong arms forced him down from standing to crashing to his knees. He looked up to see himself surrounded by Templars. He struggled, trying in vain to break free of the bonds, but they didn’t budge.

“Anders, don’t fight it. Fighting it will only make it worse.” Someone said in a near monotone voice.

Anders looked to his side to see Karl staring at him, his voice was wrong. His eyes were wrong. That’s when Anders noticed the starburst on the man’s forehead.

“Karl, no!” Anders cried out, his voice full of heartbreak.

“It’ll be alright. You’ll see.” Karl reassured him as Anders felt someone take hold of his head so that he couldn’t move it any longer. A Templar approached with a hot brand while someone started chanting. The brand was now only an inch from his forehead.

Anders shot up, breath coming fast. His hands touched his face, up to his forehead. There was no brand. He heard voices and looked over to see Fenton and Oghren playing cards. Anders laid back down and looked up at the ceiling of the cavern. He couldn’t be out of these Maker-forsaken Deep Roads fast enough.

Three days later they emerged from the cave, back into Amaranthine. Three nights of restless sleep, each night the nightmares were worse than the night before. It was still early morning when they emerged, and the group agreed to make the trek back to Vigil’s Keep that day.

A few hours later they were back, showered, and relaxing in the main dining hall having their first real meal in a week.

“Care to join us in town tomorrow, find some girls to dance with?” Nathaniel asked Fenton.

“No, you two go. I’m not ready.” Fenton picked at his plate. It had been six months since he last saw Morrigan. That had been the deal, one he swore to honor, to not look for her no matter how much he wanted to. It had been the agreement to save him and Alistair, but it didn’t stop him from missing her, from hoping she’d return someday.

“Commander, Ser.” One of the newer recruits ran up to them.

“What is it? If something’s not on fire, I’m not moving from this chair, it can wait until tomorrow. And only if it’s really important that it not be on fire.” Fenton groaned.

“No, Ser. Just letting you know we’ve acquired the dragon scales you wanted. Straight from the Free Marches. From a hunting party, just delivered to Wade.” The recruit saluted.

Anders’ head shot up, and he ran to the front door, rushing to the courtyard.

“Never realized he was that interested in scales.” Fenton’s eyebrow raised.

Anders scanned the courtyard. How many parties of dragon hunters could there be? And how many would have been hunting one in the Free Marches? He searched, and then his heart jumped, far across the courtyard, nearly to the door stood someone with long black hair, two blades beside them. It was real, his heart soared at the thought of being reunited with her. Just as quick his heart crashed back down as the person turned to reveal a male elf.

Anders let out a defeated sigh, feeling all the hope that had filled him a moment before break all around his feet. A hand touched his shoulder and he turned to find Nathaniel beside him.

“I take it you were hoping for someone that’s not here?” The rogue guessed.

Anders looked at his feet and nodded, unable to speak.

“Come on. We’re off duty,” Nathaniel turned, indicating with his head for Anders to follow.

Anders walked beside Nathaniel through the Keep, turning down halls he hadn’t been before. Nathaniel stopped at one point and pulled out a wooden panel from the wall and produced two bottles of brandy.

“How’d you know to find that?” Anders raised an eyebrow.

“I grew up here.” Nathaniel shrugged his shoulder. “Fenton and I have bottles hidden all over.”

Nathaniel kept walking, turning down several halls before opening up a door. Anders followed him in to find what appeared to be a storage room. Nathaniel sat on a rug near the far wall and held out a bottle for Anders, who joined him on the floor as he took the bottle. “This used to be the servant’s quarters. Figured you could stand to be where no one was likely to bother us.” 

Anders opened the bottle and took a large swig. He stared off across the room at a stack of paintings, the woman in the top one had the same nose as Nathaniel.  Maybe his mother? Anders could barely recall what his own mother looked like. It had been nearly 15 years since the Templars had dragged him from her arms. Templars had taken Anders away from everything, and now the only thing keeping the Templars away were the Wardens. He seemed doomed to never have what he actually wanted, from one prison into another. His throat felt thick as he tried not to think about green eyes.

“Was it the dragon hunters?” Nathaniel  guessed, seeing the silent struggle going on over the mage’s face .

Anders didn’t answer, just took another long swig of the alcohol. The world began to get a little fuzzy around him, but the pain in his chest felt just as strong. He took another sip trying to forget. The two of them just drank, saying nothing, looking at the mish-mosh of items shoved in the room. He wanted the pain to end, for this constant ache for want of something he’d never have to leave him.  Why did it hurt? Why couldn’t he have just one thing for himself? Why did the eyes in that painting seem to follow you no matter which way you leaned? Who thought a rug that color was a good idea?

“What’s her name? Or his?” Nathaniel asked as the bottles passed the halfway mark,  snapping Anders’ attention back to him.

Anders felt the room spin and thought he could smell lilacs. His voice cracked as he spoke. “Katrina. Kat. Long black hair, the most intense green eyes.  Never seen anyone as beautiful as her before or since. She smelled of flowers .”

“Was she a mage? From the Circle?” Nathaniel leaned his head against the wall to help with the spinning.

Anders shook his head. “She’s a dragon hunter. I thought...I was supposed to go to the Free Marches with her three months ago when the Templars that took me here found me. I thought maybe she had brought the scales here.” He leaned his head on his knees, felt the tears start to fall.

“You loved her?” 

Anders nodded,  _ I still do _ was left unsaid. “Just wish I had told her. I very strongly hinted, but never said the actual words. I was afraid she'd think I was crazy, or laugh at me.”

“There’s not much worse than the regret of words left unsaid.” Nathaniel patted Anders’ arm and took another drink.

“You had someone?” Anders turned his head to look at the rogue.

Nathaniel shook his head. “She never knew.” He looked up to the ceiling and blinked. “I should have told her when I had the chance, and now…”

“What?” Anders watched his friend.

“I have to watch her become Queen next week and pretend to celebrate with the rest of Ferelden instead of that my heart is breaking.”

Anders held up his bottle and clinked it with Nathaniel’s. “To lost love.”

“To regrets.” Nathaniel replied.

*** 

“Boss.”

Kat looked over to where Bull stood across the camp watching her. “What is it, Bull?”

“I got orders in the last town. I…” Bull looked down at the ground.

“You have to leave?” Kat knew this was coming sooner or later. When he’d first joined their team, Bull had been honest that he was only here to learn more about their ways.

Bull nodded. “To Par Vollan.” 

Kat stood up and pulled him into a hug. “You’ll be missed.”


	4. The Trouble With Tempars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Templars cause troubles for both Anders and Kat.

**** Nathaniel dealt the cards to provide cover for their true mission -- the three Templars two tables back. He and Anders said nothing as they pretended to start up a round while both actually strained to hear the conversation from their marks.

Nate exchanged a look with Anders as he heard one of the Templars say the word  _ phylacteries _ . They continued picking up and discarding cards as they listened. Nathaniel’s eyes moved to the side to confirm Fenton was still near the door as lookout just in case there was trouble. He could just make out the red hair, confirming he was still there.

“Hey handsome,” Fingers slid across Anders’ chest while another hand worked it’s way up his leg.

“Namaya.” He said quietly, not wanting to keep from being able to hear the Templars. Nathaniel threw him a look that said  _ I told you so _ , and Anders arched an eyebrow trying to say  _ what am I supposed to do? _

“We’re working.” Nathaniel hissed at the elf.

“Looks to me like you’re playing cards.” Namaya looked the rogue up and down. 

Anders startled as the side of her hand brushed against his groin. He took her hand off of his leg and put it on the table. “Not now, sweetheart. Quiet, we’re trying to hear something.”

Namaya turned her head to look and then back. “The Templars?” she whispered.

The men in question got up and left, heading upstairs.

“You get anything?” Fenton asked as he sat down beside Nathaniel.

“Anders got felt up, but otherwise, nothing.” Nathaniel chuckled as Anders kicked him under the table.

Namaya gave the rogue a dirty look. “Why you interested in that lot?”

“We’ve heard rumors they are moving the phylacteries from Kinloch hold to another location. We’re trying to find out where they’re storing them so we can get Anders’ out.” Fenton explained.

“A what?” She asked.

“My blood. It’s how the Templars are able to track down mages if they escape. Destroy it and they won’t be able to harass me.” Andres explained.

“Oh,” Namaya nodded her head in understanding. “I could try to smooth talk them, maybe see what I can find out.”

“You’d do that?” Anders asked surprised.

“For you, sure.” She kissed his cheek as she got up and walked off.

The moment she did Nathaniel put his cards down hard. “Didn’t I warn you about her? This is going to be trouble.” 

“Did you tell him about Tessa?” Fenton asked.

“I did.” Nathaniel looked right at Anders. “And he thinks he can handle it.”

Fenton snorted into his drink. “Good luck with that. Maybe we can get Elissa to punch this one too.”

Anders looked at his hands barely listening to what the others were saying. If he destroyed the blood the Templars wouldn’t be able to pursue him any longer. He’d had plenty of experience escaping the Circle, running from the Wardens would be cake compared to that. Free of them both he could hop a ship to the Free Marches and find her. He could finally be free.

“I think we got all we can for tonight. Let’s head back to the Keep, come back tomorrow.” Fenton finished his drink.

“Alright, boss.” Nathaniel replied standing up.

“Don’t call me that. I really hate when you call me that.” Fenton grumbled as Nathaniel chuckled. “Ass.” 

Nathaniel laughed harder and slapped Fenton on the back, loosening his friend up as the three left the tavern.

The next night they returned to find a band playing fast music, and several patrons dancing in the center, tables having been pushed out of the way to make room for them.

“Come on.” Nathaniel touched Anders’ arm and smiled, tilting his head towards the bar where several young women stood. They both looked at Fenton.

“Go ahead, I’ll find us a table.” Fenton shook his head.

“One day I won’t take no for an answer,” Nathaniel smirked at him before following Anders to the bar.

“Hello.” Anders moved beside a blonde just shorter than him. He held out his hand, “Honor me with a dance?”

He smiled and nodded taking Anders’ hand. Nathaniel joined them on the floor with a redhead not a moment later.

“What’s your name?” Anders asked him as he twirled the man.

“Tad. How about you?”

“Anders.” He spun around with him.

“You’re a Warden?” He asked.

“That I am.” 

“Is it true what they say about your lot? Stamina?” His eyes sparkled.

“I’d be happy to demonstrate if you’d like.” Anders winked and Tad blushed. He rested his head on Anders shoulder as the music slowed.

Several dances later, Anders led Tad to the table where Nathaniel was already in a heated lip lock with the redhead and Fenton was trying to ignore them.

“Fenton.” Anders nodded to him as he sat. “This is Tad.”

Tad nuzzled into Anders’ side the moment they sat, his nose buried in the mage’s neck. Fenton stood up and then sat right back down. Anders raised an eyebrow.

“I was going to go, but I see a show is about to start.” Fenton smirked, kicking Nathaniel under the table to get his attention.

Nathaniel turned his head in time to see Namaya storm up to Anders looking rather pissed off.

“Hi,” Anders replied, somewhat oblivious.

“Don’t you ‘hi’ me.” She glared at his date and then back at him. “Sitting there with some hussy tangled around you while I’ve been running around getting information on your precious phylactery.” 

“Namaya, shhh.” Anders moved his hand down to indicate she should be quieter. Tad sat back watching what was unfolding.

“Should I go?” he asked.

“No, I’d prefer you didn’t.” Anders flashed him a flirtatious smile that made the man blush and nod. “Namaya…”

She huffed at him. “Come find me at the warehouse district tomorrow. And then never talk to me again.” She turned and stormed off.

Anders turned his head to say something to Fenton and then felt a drink hit him in the face. Nathaniel and Fenton both covered their mouths to hold in their laughter. Nathaniel handed him a cloth, which Anders used to wipe the liquid from his face.

“I did warn you,” the rogue smirked.

***

“You seem to have a little mark,” Nathaniel wiped his finger along the edge of Anders’ neck as they walked through town the next morning.

“Stop it.” Anders smacked away his hand as Nathaniel and Fenton chuckled. Anders rolled his eyes at them but smirked. As much as he disliked being trapped in service to the Wardens, he liked the camaraderie he’d found with the two men beside him. Fenton and Nathaniel had been lifelong friends, and Anders was finding that they were both easy to get along with. Their friendship made this whole ordeal bearable. Kat had said the Hero was a looker, and Anders had to agree, but he kept that assessment to himself for the sake of his friendship.

“Namaya,” Anders spoke and the elf turned to look at him. “I’m sorry for…”

“I don’t care.” She glared at him handing him a piece of paper. “Here. The cache you’re looking for is at this address. I meant what I said before, stay away from me.” She pushed past him and disappeared into the crowd.

Anders let out a sigh. “I suppose we should get this over with. You both sure about this?”

“I’m not about to let one of my best friend’s walk into what could be a trap alone.” Nathaniel shook his head.

“Plus do you know how hard it is to find another Warden who’s an amazing healer  _ and _ can piss off Oghren at the same time?” Fenton chuckled. “Come on, let’s find out one way or another.”

It had turned out to be exactly what Nathaniel had worried about, a trap. Three Templars had awaited them, including the one whose actions had resulted in Anders’ conscription in the first place.

“I told you before, Rylock. Anders is off limits.” Fenton growled at the Templar in question now that the other two were knocked out. “If I see you or any other Templars anywhere near the Keep or Amaranthine, it’ll be war, you understand me?”

“You cannot…” Rylock started to argue.

“I can. As Ferelden Commander of the Grey Wardens and Arl of Amaranthine, I hereby ban any and all Templars from this land. Leave now before I have my brother-in-law ban you from the entire country.” Fenton growled again.

Rylock was at least smart enough to know she’d lost this fight and stormed out of the building, glaring at Anders as she did.

“I’m sorry, I know you were hoping…” Fenton started to say.

Anders shook his head. “No. I should have known it was too much to hope for. I’m just grateful you were here. Let’s head home.” Anders felt dejected. He hadn’t realized how much he’d been counting on finding his phylactery until this moment. Without it he was stuck. He wanted nothing more at this point then to just go to his room and be left alone with his disappointment.

*** 

Kat sat behind Christophe brushing his long hair. Peri and Tambor had left to meet with some of Tambor’s contacts about work.

“Much as I enjoy hunting, I like this too. Just sitting here, nothing to do.” Christophe said with a smile, his eyes closed, enjoying the feel of the comb in his hair.

Kat started dividing up his hair to braid it. “That’s cause you’re a lazy Vint.” She teased him. “I always wondered, aren’t you supposed to be really into fashion and robes? You always wear leathers.”

“Well, I figure if I’m going to be a disappointment to my parents, I might as well fully commit.” He chuckled. “Hate their culture, hate slavery, wear rogue leathers. Besides, these are way more practical for what we do.”

Kat hummed her agreement. “Well, I’m glad you’re a disappointment to them or I wouldn’t have my best friend.” She continued to braid in his hair. “And I like this too.”

“Like, what?”

“This. Getting to sit here just the two of us. It’s nice.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and let them rest on his chest as she leaned along his back, her head on his shoulder looking out past them. “So you don’t miss your home?”

Christophe took her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. “Where you are is home. And I’m very happy with our ragtag group of misfits.”

Kat kissed his cheek. “I feel the same about you. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my home though. Maybe a small farm, a family. Just a dream.”

“It’s a sweet dream, don’t insult it.” Christophe teased her. “I wonder what Bull’s up to.”

“Why Toff, do you miss our qunari?”

He chuckled, “Not like that. I just wonder if he made it to Par Vollen alright. Is he on any exciting missions?”

“Well, the first two months was probably just getting there. It’s been four, so not sure, maybe they’re still training him. I guess they don’t let spies write to their friends. Probably defeats the purpose of undercover work.” She sighed and squeezed him into another hug. “I’m going to go find us something for lunch.”

“Alright. I’ll clean up camp. Maybe a swim later today?”

“Sounds like a plan.” She gave him a large smile as she headed off to find lunch.

Kat walked through the woods barely making a sound. She kept her eyes and ears open for signs of nugs, rabbits or perhaps a quail. It was just the two of them for a few days, so they didn’t need anything too big for their meal. She smiled as she walked. As much as she loved the others, she adored the times when it was just her and Christophe. No one looking to the two of them for instruction, no one to lead. Just the two of them like old times, able to just laze about without any responsibility.

Kat was torn from her thoughts by the sound of a loud noise and someone shouting. She ran towards the camp, not caring that she was crashing through the woods, giving away the element of surprise. She dove out into the camp just in time to see the Templar cast Holy Smite and for Christophe to crumble to the ground.

“No!” She growled out and launched herself on the back of the Templar closest to her. “Let him go you bastards.”

The Templar twirled, trying to throw her off, but she clung tight bringing her blade up.

“Let him go or die.” She growled again.

“The mage is an apostate and…” He didn’t get to finish his statement as her dagger cut through his throat. He crumpled to the ground, causing her to fall, hitting it hard and knocking the wind out of her.

Kat sat on her hands and knees gasping to catch her breath as she looked up for the remaining Templar. Panic filled her when she saw both he and Christophe were gone.

“No. Bloody hell no.” She grabbed her blade from the ground and stood up, looking around. She detected the tracks and took off after them. Once in the woods she listened, holding her breath. Off to the east she could hear the crashing of someone through the woods. Kat took off in a run in that direction. “Let go of my Vint.” She screamed, anger and fear coursing through her.

She’d catch a glimpse ahead, light bouncing off a helmet, or armor. The trees cleared enough for her to see that Christophe was incapacitated, slung over the shoulder of the Templar that was running with him.

“Get back here, you good for nothing Chantry whore so I can gut you.” Kat yelled to him. Suddenly she couldn’t hear them anymore. No. No no no no no. Her mind raced. You can’t have him, not him too.

She ran in a panic toward the last direction she had spotted them. She burst through into a small clearing, not more than ten feet wide in any direction. Christophe was on the ground, trying to pull himself up. The Templar had his sword out, ready for battle, being circled by a warrior. The warrior was huge, easily a foot taller than Kat, muscular with short blonde hair. The Templar’s sword crashed against the man’s shield. Kat shook her head, looking away from the fight and ran to her friend.

“Christophe.” She put her arms around him helping him to stand. “Are you ok?”

“I am now. Go on, I know you want to maim him.” He leaned against a tree, still weak from the smite.

“Love you.” She kissed his cheek and ran into the battle.

“I believe the lady told you to let her man go.” The warrior glared at the Templar.

“I will not allow a mage to roam free. His place is in the Circle.” The Templar huffed, becoming winded as he now had to fend off two attackers.

The warrior swung his sword, and Kat used the distraction to kick the Templar’s knee, causing his leg to buckle. She leapt on top of him as he fell, her arm wrapped around his neck as she punched him in the face with her other hand before seeming to remember that she had a weapon. She stabbed him in the throat, the Templar dead before he could fight her off.

Christophe let out a weak cheer and slumped against the tree, sliding back down to the ground. The warrior ran to his side.

“Are you alright?” He asked the mage, his voice soft and full of concern .

Christophe looked up. The warrior was bloody gorgeous. Bright blue eyes, a beard and short blonde hair.

“Hey, can you hear me? Are you alright?” The man asked again and Christophe realized he was staring.

“Yes. Yes, just a little drained.” He took the hand offered by the man and stood with his help. “You?”

“I’m better now.” He gave Christophe a small smile that made his stomach flip with nerves. “Name’s Tomas.”

“You’re Tevinter?” Christophe asked, noting the accent.

“Absolutely not. I’m a Marcher. From just north of Hasmal, near the border with Tevinter.” Tomas shook his head.

“Hey, not everything about Tevinter is horrible.” Christophe heard himself say and wondered when he got so defensive of his homeland.

Tomas smirked at him. “If there were more that looked like you there, I’d dislike it less.”

“Oh, well.” Christophe blushed and then coughed to regain his composure. “That there is Kat.” 

They looked across the opening where Kat was kicking the Templar’s body and yelling. “Fucking fucker. Stop taking my mages. Piece of shit, asshole Chantry bitch.” Followed by another slew of obscenities.

“She is...working through some things.” Christophe chuckled as he watched her.

“She’s your wife?” Tomas sounded almost disappointed..

“What? Oh, oh. No. Best friend, confidant, hair braider, but no. We both prefer men.” Christophe explained.

“Oh, good.” Tomas smiled wide.

“If you two are done flirting there’s a body at camp I can’t wait to set on fire.” Kat stormed by them pissed off. She got about five feet ahead and then turned back around and pulled Christophe into a suffocating hug, burying her face in his chest. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I can’t lose you too.”

Christophe kissed the top of her head. “Promise. Kat, this is Tomas, the dashing knight that came to my rescue.”

Kat pulled Tomas into a hug before the warrior could react. “Thank you. You just...you don’t know…” her words devolved into tears.

Tomas looked up at Christophe who was watching her, and his arms wrapped around the woman crying in his arms. “I’m just glad I happened to be there. It’s alright, look, your friend is fine, so no need to cry.”

Kat disengaged herself from Tomas and nodded her head, she turned and walked ahead of them again, this time without anger.

“It’s not me she’s crying for.” Christophe explained softly, not wanting her to hear. Tomas nodded in understanding. “Come on. They interrupted our quest for lunch, so we won’t have food to offer just yet.”

“Oh!” Tomas cried out and turned running in the other direction. A minute later he returned with two dead rabbits. “Now we have food.”

Christophe got the fire started once they returned to camp and Kat prepared the rabbits with Tomas.

“Thanks again for your help back there.” Kat said, giving him a soft smile.

“Happy to do it.” Tomas returned the gesture.

“You wouldn’t happen to be looking for work, would you? We’re down one warrior.” Kat smiled shyly at him.

“What is it you two do?”

“Well, there’s more than us. The rest are meeting with some contacts. We’re dragon hunters. The pay’s pretty good, and you get to help people.” She turned to watch him.

“I..er...the idea of fighting a dragon is a bit overwhelming.” Tomas looked a little pale.

Kat laughed. “You don’t have to actually fight them if you don’t want. It’d be good to have the protection though, like today.”

Tomas looked over at Christophe who was dragging the Templar body out of the camp. “Is your friend there with anyone?”

Kat smiled a knowing smile. “Not at the moment.”

“Ok, you have a deal.” Tomas nodded to her. “Especially if it means whacking more Templars.”

“If you see them, whack away.” Kat said, and then blushed. “I did  _ not _ mean that how it sounded.”

Tomas laughed and shook his head. He had a feeling he’d look back on this day as the start of something great.

Tomas offered to take first watch that night. After setting up wards, Christophe and Kat both turned in. Kat laid on her bedroll inside her tent and stared at the wall unable to sleep. She’d almost lost Christophe. Her best friend, the thing dearest to her and she’d almost lost him for good. Had it not been for Tomas she would have never seen him again. Just like her mother, just like Anders. The tears started to fall, she tried to keep her sobs quiet. The pain pulled at her chest, feeling it tighten as she gasped for breath, letting the fear work its way out of her.

She heard the rustling of the tent and a moment later arms wrapped around her and pulled her against a warm body. She didn’t need to turn around to know it was Christophe.

“It’s ok, love.” He said to her quietly. One arm still holding her while his free hand brushed the hair from her face.

“I almost lost you.” She wept silently.

“But you didn’t. I’m here, not going anywhere. Ever. You’re stuck with me for good.” He kissed her temple and pulled her back closer to his chest.

“You must think I’m stupid.” She sniffled.

“Never. Why would you think that?” He soothed her by brushing fingers through her hair as she intertwined her leg with his..

“It’s been eight months, how can I still have feelings for him? I knew him for less than two weeks. How can I love him?” She sobbed.

“The heart is not a logical being. It wants what it wants, and yours wants your blonde Andersfel mage. I’m sorry. I wish more than anything I could give him to you.” Christophe tightened his arm around her.

Kat turned and snuggled into his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed her forehead and held her tight until they both fell asleep.

Kat was happier the next few days. Having Tomas there to help with protection set her more at ease.  She found him easy to talk to and of good humor. While she was pretty sure he liked Christophe, she wasn't positive. The man was friendly enough with the mage, but also a little uncomfortable, shy perhaps. 

Kat walked through the clearing picking flowers. She looked across camp to see Christophe and Tomas talking as they returned from gathering water. She watched them, deciding they made a pretty attractive couple. Very attractive if she was honest. Almost unfair how attractive, although they weren't a couple. For all she knew, Tomas didn't like Christophe the way Christophe clearly liked Tomas. She hoped he wasn't setting himself up for heartbreak. 

She was pulled from her thoughts by two arms wrapping around her and twirling her around.

“Tambor.” She laughed, hugging the elf once she was released. “Welcome back.” She looked up and grinned to Peri approach. “Did you have much luck?”

“Some,” Tambor shrugged. “We made contact, but it may be a while before we find work. Peri’s suggested we wait things out in Antiva. Can’t say I disagree, being somewhere warm for the winter would be nice.”

“I’ll talk with Christophe about it, but sounds like a great idea.” Kat smiled. Warmth, with no snow, a winter on the beach, with sun, and no snow, and a city with things to do and real beds to stay in, and no snow. She’d bribe the mage if she had to in order to get him to agree.

“I see we have a new person.” Peri shook Kat’s hand as she looked at the camp.

“Templars paid us a visit while you were gone. That’s Tomas, he helped take care of them. Christophe’s already called dibs.” She playfully elbowed Peri.

“Lucky Christophe.” Peri laughed. “Let’s go meet him.”

*** 

The first letter came ten months after he joined the Wardens. The woman that handed Anders the paper looked shifty, suspicious and it set Anders on edge. Nathaniel, however, recognized her as someone that had worked for his family years earlier and vouched for her, setting his mind at ease.

_ I don’t know if the rumors I hear are true, of the Circle Mage who became a Warden. But I pray they are and that it really is you. _

_ If it is, I’m in Kirkwall. Write if it is you. _

 

  * __Karl__



 

Anders touched the paper affectionately. If Nate hadn’t promised this woman was trustworthy, Anders would have been sure it was another trap. But it wasn’t, it was a real honest to goodness letter from Karl. He was alive, not Tranquil like in his nightmares, and he was looking for Anders. He wrote a quick note and delivered it to the woman.

_ It is true. The Warden in question is me. It is so good to hear from you. I had been so worried, fear with what may have happened to you. I still care for you, to hear you are alive, it eases a burden on my heart. _

_ I miss you. Please be safe. _

 

  * __Anders__



 

“Was it her?” Nathaniel asked him after watching Anders deliver the letter. “The hunter?”

Anders shook his head. “No, someone I know from Kinloch.”

“Oh.” Nathaniel replied. “Well, you seem happier, so that’s good either way. Fenton’s waiting for us, new mission.”

Anders nodded and followed to where Justice and Fenton were waiting by the gates. “Darkspawn activity at some farms.” Fenton explained as that left.

The walk was fairly quiet and uneventful, Nathaniel and Fenton talking about something they had planned for Fenton’s brother involving a water bucket and a doorway.

“You said you did not help mages because you are not powerful enough.” Justice stated. Anders had gotten used to the fact that the spirit tended to talk as if they were already mid discussion.

“Yes. I’m just one man, there’s little I can do against an entire institution.” Anders watched him, curious where this was going.

“What if you were more powerful? Would you fight then?” Justice asked.

“I suppose. But I am what I am, no more power coming in then what I already have.” Anders shrugged.

“This body is decaying. Soon there will not be enough for me to inhabit.” Justice looked down at Kristoff’s body.

“What happens to you when that happens?” Anders voice full of concern.

“I do not know. I may cease to exist.” Justice pondered.

“What? No, there must be something.” Anders was shocked to hear the spirit talk about his own death with so little emotion.

“The noble one thought perhaps given that I was a spirit instead of a demon that I could safely cohabitate with a human.”

“You mean in a human.” Anders shivered. “Sounds too much like possession for my liking.”

Justice nodded. “Understood.”

“Sorry.” Anders gave him a small smile.

“It is alright, my friend.” Justice replied.

The next day another letter came, but this one wasn’t for Anders. It was for Fenton, transfer orders to Orlais. He was gone a week later and a few days after that a new Commander was in his place.

“I don’t like her.” Nathaniel grumbled to Anders as they watched the dark haired Orlesian talking with a few men. “Something about her I don’t trust.”

“I agree. Commander Dupont gives me the creeps, way she keeps eyeballing me.” Anders twirled his staff as he practiced defense.

“Wardens.” They both turned their attention to the Commander as she approached.

“Howe, Anders. Meet the new recruits, Tanner and Michon.” The Commander indicated the two men beside her.

“Templars you mean.” Anders growled. “I can smell the lyrium on them.”

“Warden Anders, these are your brothers now.” The Commander walked away. “Treat them as such.”

“Something’s not right. Since when do Wardens take in Templars. I don’t like this.” Nathaniel glared at the three that had departed.

“You’re not the only one. Suddenly the Keep doesn’t seem so safe.” Anders tried to keep from shaking. “I’m going to go talk to the stablemaster. Maybe we can head into Amaranthine tonight.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Nathaniel nodded and walked off.

As he entered the stable he could feel someone following him. Anders whipped around to find Tanner and Michon behind him.

“Gentlemen, I’m honored, really I am, but I’m really not interested.” He smirked at them.

The clearly humorless Templars just stared at him. Anders sighed, shrugged and continued on his way to the stablemaster about getting horses for the night. He entered the mess hall twenty minutes later.

“What’s with your shadows?” Nathaniel asked, an eyebrow raised.

“I think they have a crush but are shy.” Anders turned wiggling his fingers at the Templars and gave them a flirtatious smile. His smile dropped when he faced Nathaniel. “Apparently I suddenly need supervision. You don’t think I seduced the Commander’s daughter or something?”

“Wardens never had issues with mages in the ranks before. This isn’t right. Fenton should know.” Nathaniel glared behind him at the Templars.

Anders shrugged. “It’s no different than the Circle. At least here I can go outside.”

Anders sat in the mess hall a week later with Nathaniel when another letter was delivered to him.

_ Anders, _

_ Thank the Maker I found you. I had hoped. If you’re a Warden, this means you can conscript others, yes? Please, find me, make me a Warden. _

_ It’s bad here. Really bad, worse than Kinloch bad. The Knight Commander here turns mages tranquil for the slightest indiscretions. I’m taking a huge risk even writing you this, that’s how bad it is. _

_ Please Anders. If even a small part of you still loves me, please help me. _

 

  * __Karl__



 

Anders put his hand over his mouth and walked out of the mess hall, down the long corridor to the storage room he and Nathaniel often used as a hide-a-way. Nathaniel followed, saying nothing. Once in the room Anders handed him the note.

“Maker.” Nathaniel looked at the note. “What are you going to do?”

“I have to help him. He was my first love, he matters.” Anders paced.

“There’s no way the Commander’s going to let you leave for this.” Nathaniel countered.

“I know, but I have to do something. I can’t just leave him there.” Anders continued pacing. He was a jumble of worry for Karl, anger for what was going on in Kirkwall and anxiety of what he could possibly do. Kinloch was bad, really bad. For Karl to say where he was now was worse, that meant it was horrible beyond imagination. “I need to figure out some way.”

Nathaniel nodded. “I understand. We’ll figure out something. I promise.”

Anders stopped his walking and looked at his friend. “Thanks, Nate. You’re pretty much my only friend, it means a lot.”

“Of course.” Nathaniel smirked. “Let’s get back out there before they notice we’re gone.”

As they entered the main hall the Commander spotted them. “Warden Anders.”

“Commander.” Anders saluted.

“Warden, this is a military establishment. Our job is to fight the Darkspawn and remain vigilant for a Blight.” The Commander glared at him.

“Yes, Serrah.” Anders nodded.

“I’m glad to see you agree.” The Commander nodded.

“Yes, Serrah.”

“Then you understand, that it is not appropriate for you to have that cat. I expect it gone before the day is out.” Commander Dupont turned and walked out of the room without waiting for his reply.

Anders left for the courtyard, saying nothing. Nathaniel watched him leave, feeling sorry for him. He knew how much that cat meant to his friend, that it represented a small piece of freedom.

Anders found Justice across the courtyard and stood next to him.

“You are agitated.” Justice noted.

“The Commander has those Templars following me around like I’m a bloody convict instead of the Hero that saved Amaranthine.” Anders grumbled. “Suddenly I can’t be trusted. And now she’s taking my cat. I just know they’re looking for any opportunity to strike me down. I have something I need to do, and I can’t with those two always hovering.”

“This is not just. I endeavor to help.” Justice looked at Anders.

Anders sighed. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’m desperate. You still looking for a host?”

Justice nodded. “If we merged, you would be powerful enough to withstand them. You would not be under their control any longer.”

Anders watched the spirit closely. “Very well. Nate will let you know when and where.”

***

“When you’re safe, send me word so I know you’re ok.” Nathaniel shook Anders’ hand.

“I will. It’ll be coded, but I’ll mention hidden brandy so you know it’s me.” Anders replied.

“We should hurry, before the other Wardens come looking for us.” Justice warned.

Anders stood and faced Justice, giving just a nod. “You should leave, for your safety.” He said to Nathaniel without looking at him.

Justice began speaking in a tongue foreign to Anders’ ears. At first it felt like nothing may be happening, but then he began to feel a vibration coming from deep within.  The vibrating increased to near painfulness, and then a flash of light bringing Anders to his knees.

When he opened his eyes it was...strange. As if he was looking through someone else’s eyes. They were his, but yet, it felt as if there was someone else in control.

The all too familiar sound of armor clanking nearby could mean only Templars. The darkness of the night began to fade as a blue glowing came from somewhere. Anders’ quickly realized it was his own skin, looking at his hands, they were cracks of blue skin showing.

“I knew you were not to be trusted. You’ll be Tranquil for sure for this.” One of the Templars growled, Anders turned to look at him and then the world went blank.

When he awoke he was in a field, the two Templars all but blown apart, their bodies torn limb from limb. Anders looked down to see blood on his hands, his coat. What had happened? What had he done? 

Anders didn’t wait for others to arrive, he turned and ran to the dock where there was a ship waiting to take him to Kirkwall.


	5. New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat and her gang make it to Antiva. You'll never ever guess who she runs into there. Never.  
> Ok, Zevran, it's Zevran.
> 
> Anders joins up with Hawke and his merry band of...friends? He learns of Karl's fate.
> 
> Oh, and SOMEONE has a date.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has nothing at all to do with Star Wars, but dedicated to the amazing Carrie Fisher anyway. You will be missed my princess *heartbroken*

**** Antiva City was even more beautiful than Peri had described it. Kat couldn’t stop staring at everything just in awe. She’d grown up in a small farming town and had thought that Denerim was the be all and end all, but this...this was beyond her imagination. Buildings of white marble, flowers on nearly every corner and even in window boxes. 

Everywhere they went in the city men would stop and kiss her hand. “I really am getting to like this place.” She chuckled to Peri after the third time that afternoon someone had done so.

Peri beamed. “I forgot how much I missed home until we returned.”

“You’re not thinking of staying, are you?” Kat’s face dropped.

“No, you’re stuck with me.” Peri threw her arm around Kat’s shoulder and squeezed, giving her a reassuring smile. “Come, I’ll take you to my favorite cafe.”

Kat sat at the small table with Peri, her eyes still wide taking in all the sites. It was a strange combination of exciting and overwhelming. “I’m glad you suggested a vacation here, it’s just so beautiful.”

Peri smirked. “We needed the rest. You especially.” She ordered them both something called coffee in Antivan and then took Kat’s hand. “I know Christophe is your confidant, but just know I’m here if you need.”

Kat felt tears threaten to fall. “Peri.” She sighed. “Thank you, truly.”

Peri nodded. “I know what it is to have a lost love. I know what it is to put on a brave face when your heart is broken. It will get better, trust in that.”

Kat nodded. “It’s been nearly a year, I’m ok most days. Then something will trigger a memory and it hurts.”

Peri nodded in understanding as their drinks arrived. “If you find it too bitter, add some sugar and cream.”

Kat took a sip and the face she made must have given away that she found it bitter as Peri laughed. It had the effect of instantly setting Kat at ease, forgetting the heaviness of their conversation, and she joined in, feeling her cheeks turn red in her joy.

“Sugar?” Peri laughed.

“Sugar.” Kat agreed with a snort, which set them both laughing again.

Someone ran by their table, nearly bumping into it. They looked up to see a blonde elf run past. He turned around to give them both a flowery salute before turning and running again. A few moments later a black-haired man passed them, giving chase.

“Crows.” Peri said, taking a sip of her coffee without batting an eye. “From what I hear they are in the midst of a war of sorts. Apparently one of their former assassins has decided to fight them head on for his freedom instead of waiting for them to come to him.”

“That doesn’t sound very wise.” Kat looked in the direction the men had run. “And we’ve only been here a week, how do you know all this?”

“It’s amazing what information you can discover just from walking around the market.” Peri winked at her.

By the time they left the cafe, it was dark, stars twinkling in the sky. Kat walked arm and arm with her friend back to the inn they were all staying at. She stopped walking and watched the night sky, Peri stopped with her and looked up. A shooting star streaked across the entire sky. Kat smiled and then continued walking.

“Stargazing?” Peri asked curious.

“Just checking on something.” Kat smirked as they continued on their way.

*** 

The market place was even more bustling then the one in Denerim had been. Kat’s eyes were wide as she took in all the colors and sights around her. People moved all around, busy with either selling their wares or buying something.

“I have an order for new armor to check up on, you wish to come?” Peri asked Kat.

“No, I’m going to look around. Have I mentioned what a brilliant idea this was of yours for us to have a real vacation?” Kat kept looking around.

“Si. Several times. Ok, I shall find you later.” Peri waved as she left to find the armorer.

Kat weaved her way through the market. She could see what Peri meant about picking up information, people gossiped as if no one could hear them. She paid them little mind, though. It was her first vacation ever, besides the short trip to see King Alistair coronated. But Peri had talked them all into it, pointing out how they all had more than enough money, dragon hunting being very lucrative, and that they’d all more than earned a rest. With very little arm twisting they all agreed, an extended vacation to Antiva was just what was needed. Two weeks in, Kat was feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time.

She purchased something called chocolates from a vendor, enough to bring back and share with the others later. Kat’s eyes scanned the market to decide where to go next. At a small booth filled with spices she could see Christophe and Tomas shopping together. Kat smirked, they’d been dancing around each other since he’d joined their party, but both seemed too shy to make a move. Kat told Tambor one night near the campfire that she was half tempted to just push their heads together and demand they kiss already.

Her eyes lit up as she spotted a booth full of daggers. Kat skirted through the crowd, her eyes full of awe as she looked at them all. Her current daggers had served her well, but something new, perhaps better quality even, could make fighting more efficient, and she’d lost one in the last battle she’d had with the Templars when they’d tried to abduct Christophe, unable to pull it from his skull.

One caught her eye, with a red leather and jewel encrusted hilt. She lifted it up, feeling the balance.

“You do not want that blade, mi belleza.” Someone said in a soft Antivan accent.

She looked beside her to see a blonde elf giving her a warm smile. He lifted the dagger from her hand and placed another on in it, with a plain looking black hilt. His hand remained touching hers as he angled the dagger.

“You see, this one, she is much better balanced. That other one, it is shiny for show. This one however, she is a deadly weapon, do not let the lack of flash fool you.” He stood almost behind her, his breath against her ear as she spoke.

Kat tried to keep from blushing. He was very handsome, something she was pretty sure he was quite aware of given his obvious flirting.

“Thank you, Serrah.” Kat nodded to him.

“Zevran.” His fingertips pushed some hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek as he did.

Kat again had to hold back a shiver. It had been so long since anyone but Christophe had really touched her with affection, and since he was like her brother, it wasn’t really the same thing as what she was feeling from the elf. An elf she knew nothing about except a first name, she realized as she stepped away slightly from him.

“I thank you again, Serrah,” She handed the blade to the shopkeeper indicating she wished to purchase it.

“Zevran,” the elf smirked.

“Zevran, then.” Kat cursed herself for blushing.

“You will find that blade most effective with dragons. The silverite slices through the scales very smooth, si.” Zevran nodded to the blade.

Kat quirked up an eyebrow and took a step back. “And just how do you know what I need this for.”

“Your Tevinter friend, although your warrior threatened me with bodily harm when I kissed your friend’s hand.” Zevran chuckled.

Kat leaned her head around Zevran to look across the market where Christophe waved his fingers at her and smiled, Tomas’ arm around his waist. Such a shame she would have to kill the mage just when he’d found happiness. Some best friend he was, selling her out for a pretty smile.

“May have to see how well the blade works on a Vint.” She mumbled as she took the blade from the shopkeeper and placed it in her belt where the missing dagger had been.

Zevran tutted with his tongue. “Do not be upset with your friend. I simply had to know about you. I saw you yesterday with your blonde friend and was captivated.”

_ Of course.  _ Kat wasn’t sure why it even surprised her anymore, Peri being as beautiful as she was.

“If all you wanted was to talk to Peri you just needed to ask, I will introduce you.” She looked in the direction of the armorer to see the woman in question surrounded by three men, all trying to gain her attention.

“Who is this Peri?” Zevran sounded confused. “It is you I wish to speak to. I came to request you show me some of your moves.”

Kat raised an eyebrow at him.

Zevran chuckled. “Combat moves I mean.” He held up his hands to show he meant no harm. “I have need to protect myself.”

“From the Crows you mean?” She cocked her head.

“Si. I did not fulfill a contract, and now there is a price on my head.” Zevran nodded.

“Very well.” Kat agreed. She could test the blade on Christophe later if this turned out to be a horrible idea.

*** 

His magic surged through him as he concentrated on the tiny leg underneath his hands, small enough that he could wrap a finger and thumb around them. He could sense the bones knitting back together as he heard sniffles. Anders slowly pulled back his magic and gently touched the cheek of the young boy on the cot.

“There, it’s all better, Kel.” Anders smiled at the boy before he looked at Kel’s mother. “Have him take it easy for another two days, Lena, but he’ll be just fine.”

“Thank you, Healer. I...I can’t pay you.” The woman looked forlorn. 

“Just keep an ear out for Templars for me and we’re even.” Anders nodded. “Now go.” Justice was agitated and he needed to get them out just in case.

He whipped around, staff in hand. Justice had heard them enter while he was healing young Kel, but hadn’t wanted to frighten the boy, at least not before his leg was fixed.

“This is a place of salvation. Why do you threaten it?” Anders held a hand out, a fireball at the ready.

Before him he saw a party of four. A beardless dwarf with more chest hair then was reasonable, an elf covered in white tattoos that looked good enough to lick, a young girl of maybe eighteen who looked so innocent you instantly wanted to protect her from the evils of the world, and a warrior who was quite simply, the most beautiful man Anders had ever seen. A year earlier, Anders probably would have been using magic in a much different, more erotic way, on the man before him. But not now, now they could be here for the Templars, here to stop him, and he would  _ not  _ allow that, not when he was so close to his goal.

“I”m just here to talk.” The warrior held his hand up to show he meant no harm.  _ Maker, _ Anders thought,  _ even his voice is beautiful. _

“We’re here looking for a map to the Deep Roads.” The dwarf answered.

“Did the Wardens send you to bring me back?” Anders pulled in his magic and put his staff down along the wall.  _ Had they’d intercepted his notes to Nathaniel? They were nearly as bad as the Templars. _ “They made me give up my cat.”

The lollypop, er, elf, glared at him, his eyes narrowing to slits. The girl, who Anders thought could be related to Beautiful, looked at him with fascination. Anders quickly determined this lot was going to be nothing but trouble between fighting off his hormones about two of them, and the attraction the younger one clearly had for him. So far there seemed to be mutual disinterest between him and the dwarf.

“I’m here as part of an expedition into the Deep Roads. Any information you have could save lives.” Beautiful explained.

“I’m not interested in ever thinking about the Deep Roads again. You have no idea…” Anders felt a shiver running through him just thinking about it. “You should just g…”

**_ He could help us save Karl.  _ ** Justice spoke to him.

_ How? _ Anders answered in his mind.

**_If there are Templars, if it’s another trap like Amarantine. The girl is a mage, they will not betray us._ **

Anders looked at them closely. He had missed it, but yes, now it was quite obvious, she was a mage. If he was quiet, he could feel her magic. He looked back at Beautiful, who seemed to be the leader of the group. “I have something you could help me with. You help me, I help you get into the Deep Roads if you’re so determined to go.”

“What is this favor?” Beautiful asked.

“I have a...friend. I am meeting him tonight, I need backup in case there is trouble. He is why I came to Kirkwall. He’s a prisoner in the Gallows. Help me help him to escape and I’ll give you the maps and the location of the entry.”

“You have a deal.” Beautiful nodded.

“We are doing favors for mages.” Lickable growled, looking at Anders in disgust. Well, so much for a roll in the sack with him. Too bad too, his voice was even more of a turn on then his appearance.

“Fenris, we help, that’s what we do.” Beautiful answered, looking at the elf.

Fenris looked displeased, but seemed to concede to Beautiful as leader.

“Then we have a deal?” Anders watched the warrior before him.

“We do. The name’s Hawke.” He held out his hand to shake.

Anders took it. It was calloused from fighting, in comparison to his soft hands. When they shook, Anders could feel he was strong, yet his hands were being gentle. He wondered what it would feel like to have those hands on him in other places. Would the warrior display the same gentleness, or would he use his strength, bending Anders to his mercy?

**_This line of thinking is a distraction. It does not serve to meet our goals._ **

_ Killjoy. _ Anders held in a smirk.

“Everyone calls me Anders.” He nodded to Hawke.

“Fenris, Varric, and my sister, Bethany.” Hawke pointed to each of his companions. “How can we help your friend, Anders?”

_ Perhaps with a kiss. _

**_Concentrate._ **

_ Maker, you really are no fun. _

“Meet me tonight, near the Chantry. One hour after sundown.” Anders replied.

“We’ll see you then.” Hawke looked at him with a smile that shone in his eyes. There was a warmth there that made you feel safe, like you could trust him.

Anders watched the party depart.  _ Tonight, Karl. Just a few more hours and we can run to wherever we need to be safe _ .

Time seemed to drag on, but finally it was time to go. Anders felt his nerves alight in his gut. Both with anticipation of saving his friend, of leaving, but also with joy at seeing Karl again. The thought of seeing his face, of embracing him, possibly kissing his soft lips again...Anders felt like a teenager. Just another ten minutes. He looked up, hearing footsteps approach, and saw Hawke and the others from earlier.

“I know we have a deal, but still, thank you for coming.” Anders sighed in relief. Justice was right, if it was a trap, he’d need the backup.

“I would have come anyway.” Hawke gave him a kind smile.

Anders felt a calmness run through him. Not since leaving the Wardens had he really relied on anyone. Nate was his last true friend. It felt good to have someone have his back again. He nodded and they walked together into the Chantry.

It was dark inside, almost eerily so, however given the time of night, it was not surprising. Candles lit the walls, and he could hear the murmurs of a few people off a ways reciting prayers. Anders led them to the prearranged meeting site. And there he was. His back was to Anders but just the sight of him, those shoulders he remembered resting his head on, that hair he would run his fingers through, those arms that used to hold him close. Anders felt his heart speed up, the butterflies returning.

“Karl.” He said softly.

“Anders, I know you too well. I knew you would never give up.” Karl replied, still looking away. Something was wrong, his voice, it was detached, wrong, not his normal speech, wrong wrong wrong. Panic gripped at Anders’ chest, tried to claw it’s way out. Justice took notice and stirred within him.

“Love, why are you talking like that?” 

Karl turned around and the world spun. His forehead, it had the seal of Tranquility. It was his nightmare come to reality. Anders tried to wake up, this wasn’t real, maybe he was still in the Deep Roads.  _ Wake up! _ Or he’d awaken in his clinic. This wasn’t...it couldn’t be real, this was just his nightmares, not real not real not real not real.

“It’s alright, Anders. It helps keep mages from falling to temptation, you’ll understand soon enough.” Karl spoke in that same monotone voice.

A noise behind them drew his attention. Templars!  _ No no no no no, it was just like the nightmare, no this couldn’t be real, not Karl, please, not him. No no n… _

**“YOU WILL NEVER HARM ANOTHER MAGE!!!”**

Hawke’s eyes grew large as the mage glowed bright blue and his voice boomed. He and Fenris drew their swords as he moved in front of Bethany, protecting her from both the Templars and the other mage. He knew she was powerful, but that didn’t stop his natural tendencies as her big brother to want to keep her safe. As if to prove the point that she wasn’t in need of protection, he felt the energy from her magic behind him as one of the Templars caught fire.

Anders watched helplessly as Justice ripped the Templars asunder. He felt sickened watching his own hands rip them apart, unable to stop what his own body was doing. He just wanted to run, to cry, Karl...Karl was gone. His chest ached where his heart should be.

“Anders. Anders.” Hawke tried to get his attention. The Templars were dead, they needed to get out of there before others came.

Justice pulled back. Anders turned, and Karl was looking at him. Not the shell he had been, Karl! Anders touched his cheek, Karl stepped closer and kissed Anders’ lips softly. The same gentleness and care he remembered from so long ago.

“Anders, please.” Karl asked as he pulled away. “I don’t know how, but I can feel my connection to the Fade leaving again. Please, don’t make me live like this.”

“Karl,” a tear fell down his cheek.

“Please.” Karl begged again.

Anders nodded, casting a quick spell, watching the light fall from the eyes of the first person he’d ever loved. Anders helped lower his body to the ground, closing Karl’s eyes with his fingertips. “I’m so sorry I was too late.” 

He felt a hand touch his shoulder. “Anders, I’m sorry, but we have to go before more come.” He looked up to see Hawke.

Anders nodded, giving Karl one last longing look. He followed the others out, not missing the scowl on the elf’s face.  _ So much for making new friends. _

By the time they were back to Lowtown, Anders felt like he was going to puke. He just wanted to go back to his room, to forget this whole horrible night had ever happened. To mourn the loss of Karl.

“Thank you, Hawke. All of you. I’ll...I’ll give you what you want tomorrow. I...I need to go.” His voice cracked, barely holding back the tears. Without waiting for an answer he turned and ran for his clinic.

Once inside he walked into the back room, tears now freely falling down his face. He reached under his cot, pulling out a small wooden box, and walked into the main room to sit at the table. He opened the box and pulled out the contents slowly. An embroidered pillow from his mother, he touched it gently. She had placed it in his hands as the Templars pulled him away from his only home. How many nights he had held it close as he cried himself to sleep in the Circle? Next he pulled out papers, letters from Karl. Love letters and some of the notes he’d sent since arriving at Kirkwall. Anders pulled out one, yellowed and stiff from age and read it, running his fingers over the words written in Karl’s handwriting. One more item remained, he pulled out the gold earring and fondled it affectionately. He held it to his lips, kissing it softly. These things, these were the most precious to him, proof that at one point he’d been worthy of love instead of the monster he’d become. He slowly placed these back into his box, his most precious keepsakes.

“Are you alright? I mean, I know you’re not, but I didn’t think you should be alone.”

Anders turned around to see Hawke standing by the door.

“Hawke. I’ll get your maps.” Anders started to stand up.

“That can wait until tomorrow. I didn’t come for that.” Hawke moved closer. “Anders, was that...is that a demon?” Hawke watched him, he thought the mage was attractive, he was hoping to not have to kill him.

Anders shook his head. “When I was in the Wardens, there was a spirit of Justice who helped us. He possessed the body of a dead Warden, a body that was decomposing. I needed a way to escape, and he needed a new host or he’d die.”

Hawke reached out and pulled Anders in for a hug. Anders melted into the embrace. It had been so long since anyone had touched him with any tenderness, he hadn’t realized until then how lonely he really was, how much he missed human contact. He buried his nose into Hawke’s neck, the warrior several inches taller than him. His strong arms holding him up, keeping him safe. Anders closed his eyes, letting the warmth of the other man fill him, take away the pain, for just a little while.

“Thank you, Hawke,” Anders said, head still resting on the man’s shoulders.

“It’s Garrett.” He explained, his hand rubbing soothing circles into Anders’ back. Anders closed his eyes and let the rest of the world fade for now.

*** 

“You,” Kat pointed as she entered their room at the tavern, “are a twit.”

“Me?” Christophe looked surprised. “Not Peri? Tambor perhaps?”

“Not unless they also apparently told some strange former Crow my name, profession and a bunch of other embarrassing details.” Kat raised an eyebrow as she removed her daggers and belt to get more comfortable. Placing them on the table loud enough for him to take notice.

“I did no such thing.” Christophe huffed.

“Blonde elf, about so tall. Tattoo on his face, fairly attractive.” Kat smirked.

“Oh! Him.” Christophe blushed. “Well in my defence, he was very pretty.”

Katt chuckled and shook her head. “He seems to think so too. I heard someone got jealous.” She replied in a sing-songy voice.

Christophe blushed again, but this time with a goofy expression on his face. It was sweet, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her friend so taken with someone. “Yes,well. Tomas and I may be missing dinner with you all tonight.”

“Oh?” Kat smirked at him.

“He...he asked if I would accompany him to a cafe for dinner. I think, maybe it’s a date.” 

“I think it’s definitely a date. You two have been making googly eyes at each other ever since he joined us.” Kat bounced on the bed next to Christophe.

“I have done no such thing.” Christophe acted insulted.

“You have too.” She playfully pushed him.

Christophe tackled her onto the bed and began to tickle her mercilessly. “Take that back. I am nothing but respectable.”

Kat squealed with laughter as she tried to roll away from his fingers, but he was too damn strong. How did a mage get so stupidly strong? “You are, very respectable,” She laughed as she tried to fight him off. “With googly eyes.”

Christophe wrestled her for that comment, both laughing as they twisted around, finally calling a truce after they were both gasping for air. They remained tangled in the bed catching their breath.

“Seriously, Toff, I’m happy for you. Plus maybe this will keep you from selling me out to the next pair of pretty eyes that bat at you.” Kat squeezed her arms around him. “As long as Tomas understands, you’re  _ my _ Vint.” 

“Absolutely.” He returned the hug.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. They both jumped up as if caught doing something wrong and then laughed at themselves. Kat answered the door as Christophe was straightening himself out. She smirked when she saw Tomas on the other side and opened the door wider to let him in. Tomas raised an eyebrow, taking note of them both having mussed up hair.

“Am I interrupting something?” He looked at their flushed faces. Were they fighting?

“Spider.” Kat explained. “Big one. Nearly bit me. Gone now.”

“Uh-huh.” Tomas smirked, not buying it one bit.

Kat watched as Christophe walked up to Tomas, suddenly looking incredibly nervous, something she never saw with him before. She wanted to sigh from the sweetness, but knew that’d earn her a displeased look from the mage at best, another round of tickles at worst.

“You two have fun now, and Tomas,” the warrior looked at Kat expectantly. “Christophe is my most favorite person ever, so you need to promise me to absolutely not be a gentleman and have him back at a very unreasonable hour.”

Tomas chuckled. “I’ll do my best. Tambor said they will all meet you in the tavern for dinner in a few minutes.”

Once out in the open air, Christophe felt like he could breath again as the warm sea air hit his lungs. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this nervous and excited at the same time. Tomas was even more breath-taking out of armor. The cotton shirt accentuated his muscles, and Christophe wondered if he had worn something tight fitting on purpose.

They sat at the small cafe, and Tomas ordered them both ales and stew. “You two weren’t fighting, were you?”

Christophe looked up from where he’d been staring at the warrior’s rather impressive arms. “What? Who?”

“You and Kat. You looked like maybe…”

“Oh, that. No, just having some fun is all. Honestly, I’m not sure she and I have ever fought.” Christophe smiled.

“That’s sweet.” Tomas gave him a smile that made Christophe want to melt. “It’s nice that you two are so close. I’ve been with other adventurers where it was a constant battle within the group, especially with two in charge like you are.”

Christophe shrugged. “We’re each other’s family. At the end of the day we both agree that the rest of this, it doesn’t matter one lick compared to having each other. So I never asked, how was it you decided to help us that day?”

“What do you mean?” Tomas seemed genuinely confused by the question.

“Well, most people if they see a Templar with a mage, they step aside, maybe even cheer.” Christophe’s fingers played with the lip of his mug, feeling the nervousness settle. He realized how silly that had been. This was  _ Tomas _ , the same man he’d been talking to every day for nearly four months. He’d somehow forgotten just how easy the man was to talk with.

Tomas leaned forward and took a drink from his mug, both arms leaning on the table. “Being so close to Tevinter, I could see what could happen if mages exert too much power, the enslavements, the abuses. But that could be anyone, not just mages. I don’t think anyone should be locked up simply because the Maker gave them a different ability then someone else. People should be judged on their character, on how they treat others, even those, no,  _ especially those _ they have nothing to gain from.” He took another sip. “You and Kat, I’ve seen you both more than generous with your money, helping those that need it, giving the Dragon meat to the poor instead of the client, even taking on free work to help. That’s not something most people would do. That...that is character, it’s admirable.”

Christophe blushed and was grateful for the distraction of the food arriving. “But you didn’t know all that about us when you intervened.”

Tomas shrugged. His voice now a husky whisper. “Maybe I just thought you were cute and wanted you for myself.”

Christophe felt a shiver run through him at a combination of the warrior’s words and tone. His eyes glanced up even though his face still was aimed at the table. He felt another rush of excitement run through him at the way Tomas was watching him, that smile again on his face showing he didn’t mean his words in jest.

They talked through the rest of dinner, Christophe finding out more about the man than he had since he’d joined their party. Even though they had talked plenty in the past, it was always about a job, or what to make for dinner, or trying to guess what the lyrics to Peri’s songs meant. Christophe was ashamed to admit that before tonight, he hadn’t really asked much about Tomas himself.

“Do you have family back home?” Christophe asked him.

Tomas nodded. “My parents and a sister. I send back some of the money I earn to help them. They’re farmers, the drought has hit hard, so what I send is helping them stay afloat. You?”

Christophe shook his head. “The only thing about me not a disappointment to my parents is that I’m a mage.”

“I can’t imagine anyone finding you a disappointment,” Tomas took his hand, running his thumb along the back of it.

Christophe looked at his hand interlaced with Tomas and smiled warmly. He liked this, it felt easy, natural. He hadn’t fully understood when Kat had tried to explain how it felt for her with Anders, even though he tried to reassure her that her feelings were understandable. But now he got it, he wasn’t as far along with his feelings for Tomas as she obviously was about Anders, but he could understand now the idea of just being comfortable with someone easily.

“So you’re were what, a mercenary before you joined us?” Christophe asked.

Tomas shrugged, “Among other things. Basically whatever was needed, and when work would dry up I’d find the next job.”

“Yet you stayed with us after the hunting ceased?” Christophe raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not staying because of the job.” Thomas answered, the look in his eyes causing Christophe to blush.

After dinner they walked back to the inn they were staying at, taking a longer route, each wanting more time with each other. Tomas took his hand again. “Is this alright?”

Christophe nodded, squeezing the warrior’s hand gently. His hand was much larger than Christophe’s, and he found that somehow reassuring, almost protective.

“I had a good time tonight.” Tomas stopped walking as they passed in front of a view of the waterfront. “I hope you did as well.”

Christophe nodded, a small smile again. “I did.”

“I’d like very much to kiss you.” Tomas stepped closer, waiting to see if the mage would step away.

Christophe looked up at Tomas, his free hand reaching up to touch the man’s cheek. Tomas tilted his head down, pressing his lips to the mage’s. Despite his size, and his toughness in battle, his kiss was surprisingly soft and gentle. Christophe was pretty sure if Tomas hadn’t wrapped an arm around his waist just then, he would have crumbled in a pile, his legs turning to jelly. When Tomas pulled away he had that smile once again.

“Peri said there’s a festival tomorrow night. I’d like to take you.” Tomas ran his thumb along the small of Christophe’s back.

Christophe could only nod, still unable to find his voice after that kiss. Tomas turned and they continued their walk back, still holding hands.

He entered the room to find Kat waiting up for him. “So, based on the silly grin on your face, I’m guessing it went well.”

Christophe sat next to her on the bed, and removed his shoes. “Very much so.”

“Did he kiss you?” She smirked.

Christophe’s fingers touched his lips as he remembered the soft kiss. He didn’t realize he’d done so until he heard his friend giggle.

“Guess that’s a yes. Have I told you you’re cute.” She teased.

“I’m not cute. I’m dignified.” He pretended to be insulted, but the smile on his face gave him away.

“Dignified and cute.” She kissed his cheek as they readied for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments, need them to survive. Feel free to blah blah blah at me about the characters, the story or what you did for the holidays or share love of Carrie Fisher cause DAMN IT!


	6. Sacrifices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran joins the story while Kat and her crew settle into Antiva.  
> Anders has to face the Deep Roads again, and it comes with a price.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have a wonderful and safe New Years Eve!!!!

**** Zevran proved to be a quick study. Kat taught him most of what she knew. He was already a brilliant rogue, but he felt that what she knew about dodging dragons could help him when it came to large groups of Crows.

They sat together on the ground drinking from the nearby well and they rested, both covered in sweat from the lesson.

“You already are clearly talented. I’m not sure what I showed you really could help.” Kat drank more of the soothing water.

“The Crows, when they fight as a unit, it is as one. I believe what you know to avoid becoming, what my friend Alistair would call ‘a dragon snack’, will help me to avoid their attack as well.” Zevran explained.

“Alistair, as in King Alistair? You know him?” Kat could barely contain her amazement.

“Si.” Zevran nodded. “One and the same.”

“Wait. You’re him? You’re the elf that was part of the Hero’s party?” Kat sat up straighter.

“Si.” Zevran replied, “Though there is little need to speak of such things. I prefer to leave that in the past.”

Kat nodded, understanding the need not to delve too much into one’s past. “Well I hope I helped.”

Zevran nodded. “I thank you.” Zevran tilted his head as he rose, reaching out a hand to help Kat stand.

“Consider us even.” She smiled warmly.

“Even?” Zevran looked confused.

“Your flirting apparently was enough to kick Tomas into action. So on behalf of my best friend, the beneficiary of that, I thank you.” She nodded with an amused grin.

“Then I am happy to have helped.” Zevran bowed and then picked up his shirt and blades. When he looked up he smirked seeing the woman’s eyes roaming his torso. “You like what you see?”

“You are very attractive. I apologize.” She blushed and averted her eyes.

Zevran moved closer. His hand touched her unscarred cheek and she looked up. “I am not offended. I would be happy to  _ discuss _ this attraction, if you wish.” 

It was clear to her, from his tone, that talking was not what he had in mind. She stepped back from him and shook her head. “Thank you, but no.”

Zevran looked at her with curiosity. “You carry a sadness. A lost lover perhaps?”

“I don’t want to talk about him.” Kat picked up her weapons and began to walk back to town. She’d finally gotten to the point where she wasn’t seeing him in her dreams every night, where she could smile with genuine happiness, she didn’t want to pull up those painful memories yet again.

“I am sorry, mi amiga.” Zevran took her hand to stop her as she walked away. “I did not mean to pry. We shall not discuss. Come, I will buy you lunch for my overstepping.” She raised an eyebrow. “As friends only, I swear.” Zevran held up his hand to explain his intent.

“Very well,” Kat nodded. Walking with him back to town.

***

They all gathered around the table in Kat and Christophe’s room, having finished dinner earlier, Zevran leaving shortly afterwards, much to Tomas’ delight. The former Crow had begun joining the team for meals a few weeks back, seeming to prefer the companionship, and enjoying the opportunity to share his stories from his days with the Hero. As he spoke, Peri and Kat realized the elf had very clearly been in love with the Hero, although he never said so outright. There was nothing in his tales about anything more than friendship between the two, nothing romantic, but it was pretty clear to the women that he spoke about Fenton Cousland with such regard and care, that what Zevran had felt was strong and very possibly unrequited. After tonight’s meal, Christophe had requested a meeting to discuss their plans for the next few months.

“Any word from your contacts?” Christophe asked Tambor.

The elf shook his head. “Only to say they don’t have word on any work at the moment. It’s not surprising given the time of year.” It was nearing winter, most dragons were preparing to hibernate, causing little issue for humans until spring came.

Christophe looked at Kat who shrugged, indicating she was fine with whatever decision he had. “Peri, we need a villa, or apartments as it looks like we’ll be here longer than planned. Makes little sense to pay for rooms if we’re going to be here several months.” Peri nodded and left to begin her search. “Tambor, let your contacts know we can be reached in Antiva until further notice.” Tambor nodded and left on his mission as well.

Kat sat back in her chair and relaxed. She enjoyed the fact that the others, while free to share their thoughts, respected her and Christophe as the ones in charge, and were willing to do as requested without hassle.

“And what should I be doing?” Tomas asked, feeling a bit afloat without anything to fight or protect.

Christophe collapsed into the warrior’s lap. “Me.” He wiggled an eyebrow as he put his arms around the warrior.

“Uh, in his room, if you don’t mind. I’m not looking for a show and I’m not giving up my bed.” Kat feigned disgust even though she was happy for the two of them, if not a little jealous of their joy.

“Are you sure, maybe you’ll learn something new?” Tomas asked as he squeezed his arms around his mage and kissed his cheek.

“Ugh, you’re getting to be as bad as him. Out, out.” Kat playfully shooed them from the room, laughing at Tomas’ teasing.

After they left she straightened up their room, certain she’d probably not see her roommate until the morning. There was a tapping at the window and she looked up, unsurprised to see Zevran there. Kat smiled as she opened the window into the room.

“Bella, if your meeting is done, perhaps you’d like to keep me company on my stakeout tonight?” Zevran offered. It had not been the first time she’d joined him as he’d spied on the Crows. Through their time together, she’d found the elf to be easy to be around, especially after he stopped flirting with her non stop and just talked.

Kat nodded, grabbing her daggers, she left a quick note, just in case her suspicions about Christophe was wrong, and followed Zevran out the window.

Kat settled in next to Zevran along the rooftop as the both laid on their stomachs watching the building across the way.

“You will be leaving soon?” He asked.

“No.”

“No?” Zevran sounded surprised.

“It’s the time of year that dragons hibernate. Tends to be quiet in my line of work for the next few months. Peri’s going to find us somewhere more permanent to stay until spring.” Kat explained.

“Ah, this is good, Si? Gives me more time to wear you down with my amazingly good looks and charm.” Zevran waggled an eyebrow.

Kat nudged him and grinned large at his teasing. “No, no it does not.”

“Curse that long lost love who has cock-blocked Zevran again.” Zevran faked annoyance as Kat rolled her eyes at him and covered her mouth to block the sound of her laughter at his playing. “I am happy you all are staying. It has been a long time since I was around others I considered friends.”

“You’re more than welcome to join us when we do leave, Zev.” She offered, not for the first time.

Like every other time, Zevran replied with a non-committal “Perhaps.”

*** 

Anders sat at Varric’s table, the dwarf sliding a mug of ale his way. “Do you really think that is a good idea?” Anders asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course. The killjoy objecting?” Varric asked, not looking up from his writing.

“Not yet, but if you recall, he did last week. Threw a beer that landed on Fenris, I would be dead were it not for Hawke intervening. Any of this ringing a bell?” Anders tilted his head.

Varric chuckled. “Yes, I can’t recall the last time I had laughed so hard.”

“Glad my imminent demise is so entertaining.” Anders rolled his eyes and took a drink.

“This came for you,” Varric handed over an envelope.

Anders opened it to find familiar handwriting. Varric seemed to notice the smile on the mage’s face. “Love letter?”

Anders tucked it in his robe and shook his head. “No, just a friend from the Wardens. Nate.”

“Thought they weren’t supposed to know you were here?” The dwarf continued to write.

“Nate’s the exception. He helped me, us, get away.” Anders took another drink, remembering his friend with fondness. The note hadn’t really said much of importance, mainly talking about a girl that had caught his eye, the goings on with Oghren and the others, and that Fenton was apparently petitioning to be reinstated at the Keep. Still, it was good to hear from him, to be able to maintain the contact, even if the letters were in code, and addressed to someone other than Anders, should they ever be intercepted.

Norah, the barmaid, signalled to Varric, who left the room just as Bethany entered. “Sunshine.” The dwarf acknowledged her with a nod.

Bethany sat across from Anders and absently took the cards from the center of the table and started shuffling them. She kept shooting looks Anders’ way, with a knowing smirk on her face. The same not-so-subtle looks she’d been giving him for months now. Anders ran his hand down his face, he needed to put an end to this now before she got hurt, or he did, if Carver or Hawke decided to enact their rights as her brother to beat the ass of anyone they determined was taking advantage of their sister.

“Look, Bethany, I’m flattered, but…” he looked up nervous.

“About what?” Confusion on her face.

Anders let out a sigh. “About this.” He motioned his hand between the two of them. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Wait, what?” Bethany raised an eyebrow. 

It was clear this wasn’t going to be as easy as he’d hoped. “You’re very cute, but…”

“Wait, you think…” She grinned. “Anders, you’re like, what, thirty? No offense but you’re too old for my taste.”

Varric chose that exact moment to re-enter the room. He whistled. “Well that was certainly humbling.”

Bethany shrugged, “Besides, my brother likes you, I’m not going to step in that.”

“What are you talking about? Carver barely speaks to me.” Anders finished the rest of his mug, trying to ignore his hurt pride.

“I have more than one brother.” Bethany shook her head, smiling as she saw Isabella walk in with her arm around Carver.

Behind them entered Merrill, Fenris, Aveline and Hawke, who sat beside Anders as the rest took their seats as well. Anders wondered why he hadn’t noticed before now that Hawke nearly always managed to sit beside him. Bethany began dealing out cards as Norah entered and handed out drinks, refilling Anders’ empty mug.

“The good news, Hawke,” Varric tossed in his cards as he folded. “As of tonight, we officially have enough for the expedition.”

“There’s bad news, I take it,” Hawke increased his bet.

“Yes, a week from now we’ll be in the Deep Roads.” Varric chuckled. “Bartrand agreed for us to take two others, so choose wisely.”

“Fenris, we could use your power.” Hawke looked to the elf who nodded.

“My blade is yours.” The elf offered.

“I should go.” Anders replied, downing the remains of his drink.

Hawke looked at him with surprise. “Anders.” His voice was soft as he touched the mage’s arm. “Are you sure? I know...you said that you never wanted to go to the Deep Roads again. Made it fairly clear just how much you didn’t.”

Anders grabbed Varric’s mug and tossed it back, instantly regretting it as he coughed harshly, his throat on fire. “Bloody Maker. What was in that?”

Varric snatched back his now empty mug looking irkd. “Never steal a man’s drink. Serves you right.”

“Hawke.” Anders’ voice shook slightly despite the liquid courage. “You need a Warden if you’re going to survive, and most likely a healer at some point. I’m the logical choice.”

Hawke looked at Anders with soft eyes, his hand reached out, almost touched his cheek before he seemed to think better of it and pull it back. “Very well.”

Anders picked up his cards again and picked up on the look that flashed across Fenris’ face. All this time, Anders had thought it was because he was a mage that Fenris was so prickly towards him. But jealousy, not hate, was the emotion clearly written on the elf’s face, gone just as quick.  _ Oh _ , Anders thought.

A few hours, and several of Varric’s stories later, Anders decided he’d lost enough coin for the night, the week really. He stood and felt the room sway, definitely more than a small bit drunk. He was barely out the door when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned to see Hawke there. 

“Not about to let my favorite mage get killed before he gets home. Let me walk you.” Hawke tilted his head. “And, uh, let’s not let Bethany know I called  _ you _ my favorite mage.” 

“But you’re drunk too.” Anders pointed out.

Hawke swayed a little. “Ok, then you watch my back too.”

Anders chuckled and nodded. They walked in companionable silence until they reached the clinic. Once inside Hawke finally spoke.

“Anders, about the Deep Roads, are you sure? I mean you made it sound like your worst nightmare.” The warrior watched him with concern.

“What choice do I have? Watch you go down there knowing without my help you’ll all most likely not return?” Anders shrugged, not really wanting to think about the trip if he could at all avoid it.

“Maker Anders, you are...you’re amazing, you know that?” Hawke stepped closer, nearly boxing Anders in along the wall.

**_This is a distraction._ **

_ Oh, NOW you finally decide to speak up. Where were you five drinks ago? _

**_Kissing the elf would be better. He sings._ **

_ This is not about your lyrium cravings. And we’re not going to kiss Fenris, I like my heart in my chest, thank you very much. In fact we’re not kissing anyo… _

His thoughts were cut off by Hawke pressing his lips to Anders’. Anders closed his eyes, in shock first, before indulging in the feel of the warrior’s hand along the back of his head, the way his lips formed over Anders’, taking control of the kiss, guiding it. Anders allowed himself to be pushed against the wall.

“Garrett.” He mumbled quietly when Hawke ended the kiss, the mage’s eyes still closed.

Hawke’s hand brushed along his cheek. “Goodnight, Anders.” He spoke in a husky voice.

Anders felt his insides quake at the desire in the other man’s voice. He opened his eyes, seeing the normally grey ones of Hawke’s instead blown black with arousal. Anders gulped, holding his breath.

Hawke pressed another soft, quick, kiss to the corner of Anders’ mouth before leaving the mage wondering what in the Maker had just happened.

He didn’t get the chance to ask the next day, or the next week either, as a bout of dysentery made its way through the residents of Darktown. There was a banging on the clinic door the morning after the kiss, Anders half hoped to find Hawke on the other side. Instead it was the first of what would turn into a never ending flood of patients for the next five days. He thought he might have seen Hawke at one point, or maybe three, in the clinic, but Anders was hip deep in fevers, vomiting and other disgusting bodily fluids to take the time to confirm it was the warrior. At the end of each night he found what had at one point been a warm meal waiting for him in his room, one that tasted suspiciously like Leandra’s cooking, so Anders was pretty sure at least one of the Hawke siblings had been there.

By the sixth day, it seemed that everyone that needed it had been helped. Some of the worse cases were still sleeping on the cots in the clinic, but he could finally stop moving and collapse in his own bed. He slept all of that day, his assistant Lena, being able to take care of those that remained in the clinic.

He awoke to someone shaking his arm gently the next morning.

**_The beardless Oghren is here._ **

_ He has a name, Justice. _

Anders opened his eyes as he swung his legs over the edge of his cot. He sat up, arms resting on his legs as he rubbed his face.

“Morning, Blondie.” Varric’s cheerful voice greeted him as a mug of coffee was presented.

“Bless you.” Anders took the mug gratefully and drank, feeling the aches in his body from a week of healing. His fingers glowed slightly as he ran his hand along his body, feeling the aches disappear as he went. A muffin appeared in front of him, which he happily took from the dwarf.

“Now that we’ve gotten breakfast into you, time for you to get up, we’re meeting the rest of them to leave for the Deep Roads.” Varric leaned against the wall.

“That’s today? Already?” Anders looked around. “I’m not even packed.”

“Hawke and Sunshine took care of that already.” Varric motioned to the far end of the room where a pack sat next to his staff.

Anders ran another hand over his face and grimaced. “Alright, guess we better get this over with.” He stood and took the pack and his staff.

“That’s the spirit.” Varric replied, chuckling at his own joke. He lead the mage to the awaiting party. 

_ Maybe it won’t be so bad _ , Anders thought optimistically.

*** 

“Peri really out did herself, this view is beautiful” Kat beamed looking out the window of the bedroom to the sea. “But will this really save us money off renting rooms at the inn?”

“Turns out Zevran helped the owner a while back. Stopped robberies in his store or something, not sure. Anyway, as a favor to him, we got this at a bargain.” Christophe explained. “And Tomas is practically vibrating with excitement about the kitchen. Apparently he loves to cook.”

Kat smiled at her friend as she wrapped her arm around his and leaned into it. “Can’t go wrong with the view.”

“Glad you like it, it’s yours.”

“You’re not staying?”

Christophe fumbled with his fingers. “Well… Tomas has a room...he asked...well…” he looked at Kat hoping she’d understand.

“Look at my pretty Vint. All grown up and blushing because he can’t tell me he wants to shack up with his boyfriend.” Kat smirked at him.

Christophe let out a breath, calming his nerves. “Thank you.”

“For letting you off the hook?” She winked.

“For calling me pretty. I am, after all.” He winked at her and pulled her into a hug before she could give him a shove out the window.

*** 

It was bad. Worse than bad. So much worse. Anders thought back to a few weeks earlier when he had been puked on by not one, not two, but five patients at once while the epidemic had run through Darktown. Good times. Times he now thought of fondly. What he wouldn’t do to be back there instead of here, where he was currently shooting a lightning bolt at a hurlock.

Anders took stock of the group, shooting a rejuvenating spell at Hawke who seemed to be tiring. He couldn’t help but appreciate the beauty of Fenris slicing through the darkspawn, his lyrium lit as they fell around him, Varric’s bolts hitting those that the elf missed. Determining the rest of the party was alright, Anders resumed shooting lightning at the horde.

The ground shook and Anders looked over in time to see an ogre barreling at him. He turned to yell a warning at the others. The words dying in his throat as a darkspawn swung a sword, connecting with Hawke’s chest, the warrior crumbling without a sound.  _ No no no no no no no. _

Anders shot up, breathing fast as panic took hold. 

“Mage is awake.” He heard Fenris grumble and a moment later Hawke was in front of him.

“Anders, hey, breathe, you hear me.” Anders eyes met Hawke’s grey ones. Anders looked around, he was sitting, blankets now gathered over his legs. They were in camp, a fire at the center, everyone either asleep or busy. Anders returned his eyes to Hawke’s face.

“Hawke? Where…”

“There you are.” Hawke’s smile warmed him as he felt the man touch his face. “We’re back at the camp. That ogre bashed you around pretty good, you’ve been out ever since.”

Anders reached out a shaky hand. “I saw you fall…”

“Just a scratch, Fenris sewed me up, I’m ok, really.” Hawke pulled Anders in for a hug. “Rest, ok? We don’t need to move out for another few hours, just rest.”

Anders nodded lowering himself back to the ground. He hated these damned Deep Roads. He felt Hawke’s lips on his forehead as he drifted back to sleep.

***

“I think I found something, Hawke.” Varric called out. 

Anders and Hawke entered to see Varric and Fenris atop a perch, something glowing beside them.

“Something feels wrong in here.” Anders’ eyes started to dart around as the climbed the stairs to join the others.

Atop the altar sat an idol made of red lyrium. Anders had no idea red lyrium even existed, but there it was, and he instantly knew where the feeling of dread was coming from. He began to back away towards the wall.

“Mage?” Fenris looked at him, his voice full of concern.

“Wrong. Wrong.” Anders whispered as he continued to back up.

“Hey, Bartrand, look what we found.” Varric tossed the idol to his brother.

The other dwarf looked it over, “Well this is remarkable. Good job, brother.”

Varric noticed that Bartrand was backing up as he spoke. Hawke caught on at the same time Varric did, too late. They ran to the door just in time for it to swing shut. Both banged on it.  _ Maker blighted fucker _ , Hawke thought.

“I agree.” Varric pounded on the door as Hawke realized he’d said that out loud, “Bartrand, you bastard, I’m your brother, let us out.”

“Hawke,” Fenris called from above.

“Fenris, help us with this door.” Hawke grunted as he tried in vain to open it.

“Hawke.” Fenris called out with more urgency, enough to draw Hawke’s attention to look at him. “The mage. I think you need to get up here.”

Fenris usually had two expressions; anger and annoyance. The look of worry on his face was enough to jar Hawke into action, the warrior taking the steps two at a time to get back up there. He stopped for only a moment, his heart hurting. Anders was sitting, back against the cave wall, rocking while pulling on his hair.

**_Trapped….lyrium...elf….trapped…_ **

Justice was mumbling incoherent thoughts in his head. The spirit wanting to lick the elf was the least worrying of all of them. Flashes of darkspawn, Nathaniel dead on the ground after the fight with the Mother, Kat killed by the Templars she had directed away from him, the Templars he’d ripped apart when Karl….Karl....The brand, just like his nightmare...made real...too much, too much too much needed to get out of here, voices screaming in his head...too much…

“Anders, look at me.” Hawke touched his face, tried to get the mage to focus his eyes, he seemed locked inside himself, a panic attack perhaps. “Anders, sweet thing, look at me, I’m here, we’re all here, we’re ok, we’ll figure this out. Come on, come back to us.”

Anders eyes looked up at Hawke’s, his breathing still quick, coming out in short gasps.

“Mage.” Fenris sat beside him, taking Anders’ hand and placing it on his own chest. “Match my breath,slowly.” 

The elf took long, slow breaths in and then out, in, out. Anders began to follow, feeling the rhythm, slowly in, then out. His lungs stopped burning, his throat began to open. He felt the soothing touch on his cheek, his eyes turned to see Hawke watching him closely as the warrior’s thumb brushed along Anders’ face.

Anders continued to take slow, exaggerated breaths as Fenris held fast his hand. Slowly, the images faded and Justice quieted. 

Hawke felt Fenris place the waterskin in his hand and he held it up for Anders. “Here, slowly, just a little.”

Anders nodded and took a slow sip, his eyes still watching Hawke, the panic all but gone. “I...I’m sorry.”

Fenris released his hand, deciding the mage was ok for now, and walked off with Varric to look for another exit from the vault.

Hawke ran his hand along Anders’ face soothing him. “It’s ok. I should have insisted you not come. You told me it was bad, I should have said no when you offered.”

“Hawke, I…” Anders devolved into tears, and the warrior pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him, making a safe cocoon. Anders allowed himself to melt into Hawke’s chest, to just be. He felt warm lips press along his forehead.

“It’s alright Anders. You’ll be alright, we’re going to get out of here. Fenris and Varric will find something and it will be ok.” Hawke rocked him reassuringly, his hand rubbing along his back.

“Hawke, we found a way out.” Varric called up to them.

“See, told you so.” Hawke gave Anders a cocky smile that caused the mage to let out a nervous laugh. “Come on.” Hawke held out a hand to Anders once they untangled themselves from each other and led him to where Varric and Fenris were. Fenris finished shoving a large pillar that had fallen that was blocking a doorway.

They walked a few hours, nothing looking familiar, but Anders sensed very few Darkspawn. “That could mean we’re near a way out, or it could mean there’s something scarier down here that even they are afraid of.”

“I really don’t like the idea of meeting something Darkspawn are scared of.” Varric commented as they set up camp.

Anders set up wards around the area as Fenris handed out some of their food.

“We should probably use half the usual rations, we don’t know how long we may be down here.” Anders suggested.

Hawke let out a sigh, “Probably wise. Let’s just hope we don’t run into anything worse than a small mouse the rest of the time.”

Two weeks later Hawke was regretting those words as the rock wraith pulled itself together for the third time.

“Seriously, how the fuck do you kill this?” Hawke snarled.

Anders and Varric hid behind one pillar as Hawke and Fenris stood behind another as the wraith let out another burst of energy.

“Mage!” Fenris yelled.

“Elf!” Anders yelled back getting sick of Fenris seeming to not know his name.

“Lightning, now.” Fenris sprung into action. The moment Anders’ spell hit the wraith, it was momentarily frozen for just enough time for Fenris to phase through the rock and pull out his heart, or what seemed to be it’s heart. It wasn’t really clear, but given that the wraith immediately crumbled, it was probably it’s heart.

Fenris tossed the heart into the air, and Anders cast a spell, crushing it to pieces.

“Blondie, Broody, good job. See what happens when we play together nicely?” Varric kicked away some of the rocks as he swung Bianca on his back and walked across the room. “Hawke, you may want to come take a look at this.”

“Last time you said that we were locked in a room by your brother and Anders had an attack, so you’ll excuse me if I say no.” Hawke replied, taking the hand of the mage.

“This will make up for that, I promise.” Varric chuckled.

“Let’s go see what he wants before his yelling draws the darkspawn to us.” Fenris suggested, his eyes falling on Hawke and Anders’ joined hands for a moment.

Varric hadn’t been kidding, the room was full of more jewels, coin and treasure then they could ever hope to carry out. “Hawke, I do believe you’re going to be getting your mother that house.” Varric chuckled.

“If we get out of here,” Anders fretted.

Varric pointed across the room, another doorway, but this one with the unmistakable glow of daylight seeping through.

“Thank the Maker.” Hawke let out a sigh, grabbing Anders’ face and placing a solid kiss on the mage’s mouth. Anders couldn’t help but smile in response.

Once outside it was clear why no one had found the treasure to this point, the ledge to the cave entrance was only a few inches wide. They slowly shuffled along, hugging the cliffside for nearly a hundred feet before finding solid, wide open, land.

Anders fell in an instant, staring up at the afternoon sky. He was out, no longer trapped underground, blessedly clean air filled his lungs, taking all the fear and terror away as he exhaled.

“Berries!” Hawke nearly squealed with delight. Anders rose to help him collect some.

When they got to the bush he grabbed Hawke’s hand away sharply just before he got to it.

“Anders, stop. I’m hungry.” Hawke whined.

“Enough to die? Cause that’s what’ll happen if you eat those.” Anders held fast as the warrior tried to wrangle his hand away.

“I’ll only eat a few. Dragonberry is amazing, here.” Hawke tried to reach with his other hand, that Anders also grabbed.

“Those are redberry. The leaves are ridged.” Anders voice firm.

Varric approached. “He’s right. Looks like he just saved you.”

Hawke let out a huff, disappointed that there were  _ no _ delicious berries after all. “Thanks.”

Anders chuckled. “Come on. A few hours walk, we should be home, that’ll make it better.”

*** 

Anders collapsed that night in his own cot after nearly three months away. Never before had it seemed so comfortable as it had at that moment. Unfortunately he was too excited with the idea of being back, that he couldn’t actually sleep. He pulled out a small book and a nub of lead and began to sketch, something that always calmed him.

Someone started banging on the clinic door.  _ Seriously, I’ve been back twenty minutes!! _

He opened the door to find one of the residents, Timothy, there.

“Healer, you’ve returned. Thank the maker.” The man sighed.

“Are you in need of help?” Anders asked looking around to see if there was anyone else. “If not, I just got back, really need the rest.”

“Healer,” Timothy looked at him with a strange expression. “Has no one told you?”

“Told me what?” Anders really just wanted to collapse in his cot again.

“The Templars. They took Lena.” Timothy’s voice sympathetic.

“When?” Anders felt panic claw at him, memories of Karl with the brand coming forward in his mind.

“A week after you left. I’m sorry.” Timothy put a hand on his arm. “We tried to help, but...two men, the Templars killed them when they tried, knocked out another three.”

Anders heart plummeted. Lena had been a good assistant, a kind soul. She rarely even ever used her magic, sticking mostly to balms and bandages. He doubted it was little coincidence that she was taken once he was no longer there to protect her. “Thank you, Timothy. I...I’d rather be alone right now.”

“Of course, Serrah. I’m sorry.” Timothy replied, turning to leave.

Anders sat at the bench in front of his herb table hard. 

**_They will pay. They will never touch another mage!_ **

_ How? Maybe Hawke can _

**_No! He is a distraction. If we hadn’t followed him to those Deep Roads the female mage would still be safe. You allowed us to deviate from the mission, she should not have been taken, this is not acceptable._ **

_ But that’s hardly Hawke’s fault. We could... _

**_How many more mages will you allow the Templars to harm so that you can kiss the bearded warrior? Is his attentions worth their safety?_ **

Anders crumpled in on himself realizing that Justice was right. How much further would they be in their efforts to free mages if he was spending his free time working on rescuing mages, on making people see the truth instead of following Hawke on one mission or another, or worse yet, just sitting at Hawke’s table doing nothing more than kissing, talking, instead of taking action against the Templars? How many mages were raped, made tranquil, or killed while he was working on how to get into the warrior’s breeches? He couldn’t afford the distraction anymore.

Hawke’s affections would be just one more thing he’d sacrifice for the greater good of freedom and equality for mages.

***

“I think I could definitely get used to this.” Kat rested her feet on Peri’s lap as they watched the surf.

“We have enough, we could retire, maybe even get a few good looking servants to ogle.” Peri chuckled.

“I bet if we asked Zevran, he’d be willing to walk around scantily dressed for our amusement.” Christophe commented. Tomas grunted, and playfully bit his neck. “I’m teasing, amatus.” 

Peri tutted. “Oh, we cannot retire. If we stopped all the adventuring it would ruin Christophe’s figure.”

“Maker forbid.” Kat chuckled.

“Put a little wine in them and they become cruel.” Christophe feigned hurt.

“Let me soothe your pain.” Tomas smirked as his lips pressed on the shoulder of the mage beside him who let out a small moan.

“Ah, are we starting an orgy? Am I late?” Zevran entered with Tambor.

“Please tell me we aren’t.” Tambor grumbled. “Not having an orgy, I mean.”

“We are not.” Kat shook her head. “But we were discussing requiring Zev wear less clothing around the villa.”

“Ah, finally someone that appreciates my talents.” Zevran chuckled as he sat beside Peri, taking the offered wine.


	7. Passing of time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the title suggests, this chapter fills in what happens over some of the next few years from post Deep Roads to the death of Hadrianna

In the four months since they’d returned from the Deep Roads, so much had changed. Hawke had been able to buy the Amell estate for his mother, and had moved in with his mother, Bethany and Carver. Varric became partners in the Hanged Man and now officially lived there. Anders spent every coin he’d earned fixing up the clinic and donating to the Mage Underground so that mages that were freed were sent on their way with food and coin so that they could survive. No one was quite sure what Fenris did with his coin, as the mansion still seemed to be in the same state of disarray, and the corpses still sat in the front room.

Hawke had been more than generous, making sure even those that had not been on the quest had coin to spend. It certainly made card night more fun, as they all now had money to bet, except for Anders, however between Hawke, Varric and Isabela, he was always given a loan to play with. It was the one night a week Justice seemed willing to let Anders do anything even remotely normal. He wasn’t able to attend with any regularity, though. With the loss of Lena, he was busier than ever in the clinic, rarely having time for much more than collapsing with exhaustion onto his cot most nights.

He sat on a stool, his hand on the head of the infant before him while the boy’s worried mother held him. Anders looked up to see who had entered and nodded to Bethany and then turned his attentions back to the baby.

He sat back and gave the woman a comforting smile. “He’s fine, Nanette. Just a little gas.” Anders touched the infant’s cheek affectionately and rose, walking across the room to his herb table. He plucked a few items, ground them together and put them in a bag, bringing that back to the woman.

“Add a pinch of this to his bottle at night, he’ll feel better come morning.” Anders reassured her.

“Oh, thank you, Healer. I’m sure you think I’m silly, worrying like this.” The woman blushed.

“No, just a caring mother. Go on home and relax, he’s doing just fine.” He gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and ushered her out the door.

“Bethany,” Anders nodded with a smile as he began to put away the herbs he had just pulled out. “What can I do for you?” He looked over as three more people walked into the clinic, one with a very clearly broken arm. “I apologize, I’m a bit busy.”

“That’s why I’m here.” She explained. “I heard Garrett and Varric say that you were overly busy here and I thought maybe I could help.”

Anders observed her for a moment. “Do you know any healing magic?”

“My father taught me a little. I’d be happy to learn more, but anything I can do. It feels wrong for me to just sit up there in that big house all day with nothing to do while there’s people here that I could be helping. And the entry to the basement is right there, so I don’t even have to go far.” She waited for his ok. 

“Very well.” Anders nodded. “Thank you.”

Bethany beamed. “No, thank you. Oh!” She pulled something out of her pocket. “Garrett asked me to give you this. It’s a key to the basement, just in case the Templars are poking around.”

“I’m not sure this is wise.” Anders looked at the key in her hand.

Bethany took his hand and place the key in it, closing Anders’ fingers around it. “He’s not trying to win you back Anders, we just care about you. No hidden agendas, promise.”

Anders let out a sigh and nodded, putting the key in his pocket. “I’m going to see to that arm, why don’t you find out what the other two are in need of.” He walked away before he could have another bout of regret.

*** 

“So I got us a job. Two actually, one on the way to the other.” Tambor entered the dining room where the rest of the party were already meeting, standing around looking at a map.

“Great!” Kat beamed, cracking her knuckles, “I’ve been dying to get back out there. Why do you look so upset? It’s not another ravager, is it?”

“No, it’s not another ravager.” Tambor still looked concerned, his eyes looking towards Christophe momentarily.

“You look as if you’re worried he’s going to hit you with lightning.” Tomas commented.

“Probably because he has before.” Tambor sounded defensive.

“One time.” Christophe stood, holding his finger up.

“That didn’t make it hurt any less.” Tambor complained.

“I said I was sorry. This is ridiculous.” Christophe yelled back throwing his hands in the air.

Peri and Kat sat, Kat grabbed Zevran’s elbow while Peri did the same to Tomas, pulling them both down to also sit.

“We’re going to be here a while.” Kat explained as Peri started dealing cards to the four of them.

“It was a sneeze. It’s not that big of a deal.” Christophe argued.

“Not that big of a deal? I have no hair on my head and it took a month for my eyebrows to grow back.” Tambor motioned to his head as he yelled.

“It’s very...dignified.” Christophe tried to compliment him.

“I look like an egg!” Tambor growled.

“Why won’t you let this go already?” Christophe crossed his arms defiantly.

“I.Have.No.Hair.” Tambor enunciated slowly, barely containing his anger.

Kat handed a bottle of brandy around to the card players as the other two continued their shouting.

Zevran played while watching the other two in what was clearly an ongoing fight as Peri and Kat all but ignored it. Tomas seemed as interested as Zevran in watching what was going on without actually looking like they were watching. Kat wasn’t kidding when she said they’d be there a while. It was nearly two hours later before Tambor and Christophe stopped with the fight.

“If that’s done, where’s the work, Tambor.” Kat asked, looking relieved that they could finally continue the discussion.

“The first one is in Hunter Fell, nothing too bad. Seems to be a small one, but the mayor’s asked us to take care of it before it grows and becomes a nuisance.. The second,” Tambor took a step back, “Orlais.”

“Orlais?” Christophe shouted. “No! They’re just Tevinter but without the slaves and magisters. And what’s with the stupid ‘The Game’” he enunciated the last two words in a false Orleasian accent. “Who in their right mind finds that at all entertaining. Oh let's all wear masks and talk in riddles.”

“Tomas, wine.” Kat motioned to her over-excited business partner. The warrior nodded, handing the mage a bottle of red.

“Continue.” She said to Tambor.

“A razorback has apparently decided the Warden compound there is a good place to hang out. They’ve asked for our help.” Tambor explained.

“Given we have another job first, it’s going to take us months to get to Orlais. That’s the other side of the Free Marches.” Kat tilted her head.

“They’re willing to wait.” Tambor smirked. He knew that also translated into they were willing to pay obscene amounts of money.

“Alright, let them know we’ll head out in a few days.” Kat nodded, giving Christophe a sympathetic smile when the mage let out a mournful sigh. Tomas gave his shoulder a squeeze and whispered something in his ear.

“Zevran, would you like to come fight a dragon for real?” Christophe offered.

“A break from fighting the Crows would be nice. Si, I will come my friends.” Zevran looked pleased to be included.

*** 

Fenris made a face of disgust as the spider charging at him burst into flames. It would take hours to get the smell of burnt spider out of his nose. He shook the thought from his mind as he leapt beside Hawke to fight off the remaining vermin. Once dead, Hawke turned to him with a smile that made Fenris feel tingly in his chest. He had no idea what had transpired a year ago to make the abomination decide he no longer desired Hawke, but Fenris was grateful for it. This was especially true in the last month when Hawke seemed to be bestowing more of his attention on Fenris. He had no idea how he had come to gain the man’s interest, and he had no idea if Hawke returned those feelings, but he was happy to have those smiles just the same.

Anders watched as the two oblivious idiots grinned at each other. He was happy Hawke had finally moved on, but still, he’d wished it was anyone besides the brooding, arrogant elf. 

**_You are annoyed because of the cave, not the bearded man or lyrium elf._ **

Anders pinched his nose and closed his eyes. Justice had been right. It wasn’t the Deep Roads, sure, but it was a cave. A stinky, dark, not above ground, someone could die, cave. He rarely joined Hawke on missions nowadays, but this was different. This was something even Justice agreed to - helping some mages that had escaped the Circle avoid capture from the Templars that Thrask said would soon be joining him where he waited at the mouth of the cave.

Hawke motioned for Anders and Isabela to follow and moved further into the Maker damned cave.

Isabela snapped her fingers. “I got it, the Pearl.”

Anders chuckled and shook his head, “I was there. Next to last time I escaped.”

“You were the runaway mage with the electricity trick.” Isabela smirked.

Anders snorted, “I haven’t done that in years.”

“Let me know if you ever want to try again.” Isabela purred, running her hand along his arm.

They were distracted from their flirting by a shout ahead. Both rushed ahead to find Fenris and Hawke, swords drawn, surrounded by several mages.

“Blood mages.” Anders snarled.

“They want to bring us back. I will not allow you to bring us to the Templars.” A red haired mage sliced his arm. Undead began to rise around them.

Fenris snarled as he and Hawke began fighting the mages.

“Remember spiders. I miss those. Good times.” Isabela struck down one of the skeletons.

Anders cast Barrier on all but Fenris, having learned how little the elf cared for having magic cast on him if not absolutely necessary. He then cast paralysis freezing the remaining undead, allowing Isabela to hack them down.

As much as he was for mage freedom, as much as he believed the Templars were wrong, there was one thing Hawke would never abide, and that was blood magic. His sword swung, bringing down the blood mage.

“You...you killed him.” A woman came running over. Anders looked from where she came to see a group of mages huddled together, including children.

“Hawke.” Anders indicated with his head. The warrior looked over and nodded.

“He was a blood mage.” Fenris growled.

“He was desperate. Please, we can’t go back.” The woman looked at Hawke and then back at the other mages.

“We’re not sending you back.” Anders answered, looking at Hawke after, who nodded.

“We’ll tell them we fought, you died.” Hawke handed the woman a sack of coins. “Take this, if you follow this path, there’s another exit.”

Fenris ground his jaw. It was clear he was unhappy with the decision, but he respected Hawke as the leader enough not to question him.

They exited the cave an hour later to find Thrask waiting for them.

“The mages you were looking for are all dead. They turned on each other and then us.” Hawke explained to the templar.

Noise from the right drew their attention to more Templars. Justice snarled and it was all Anders could do to keep him contained.  The brunette approached Thrask.

“Am I really to believe these escaped mages are dead?”

“Ser Karras, Hawke here has worked with us several times. The Knight Captain trusts him, Serrah. I believe we can too.” Thrask vouched for them.

Anders didn’t like the way Kerras looked at each of them, as if trying to size them up. His eyes lingered longer on Anders and Anders could feel Justice move around again.

**_We should kill him. This templar, he cannot be trusted._ **

_ Like any of them can? _

Justice didn’t answer, but Anders could feel the spirits irritation. Anders tried to not shuffle his feet while Hawke talked to the Templars. Thrask was alright enough, for a Templar, but this other fellow, he reminded Anders too much of the Templars in the Circle that took pleasure in giving one crack of the whip more than what was ordered, one extra hour of solitary than was charged and one look too long at the Tranquil.

“Thank you again, Messere Hawke.” Thrask placed coins in Hawke’s hand.

Garrett turned and the others followed without a word. Hawke walked up ahead with Fenris, while Anders and Isabela hung several feet back. Anders watched while the two ahead talked. He couldn’t hear what was being said, but he caught how Fenris kept lowering his head, as if to hide his blush with his hair.

“You looked like you were barely keeping it together back there. I take it Big Blue didn’t like the job.” Isabela played with a gold coin as they walked.

Anders sighed. “That’s putting it mildly. Blood mages and Templars. Something about that new one really set him off, more than usual I mean.”

Isabela nodded in understanding. “I agree, something about the way he looked at us, gave me the creeps. So...you want to come to the Hanged Man tonight, maybe try out that trick again?”

Anders chuckled. “Not tonight.”

“Bugger.” Isabela swore. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

*** 

“What do you mean he left?” Kat crossed her arms.

“I mean he flew off, about a week ago. Not sure where. Think he’ll be back?” The warden, Lafayette he’d said his name was, looked nervous.

“Probably.” Christophe replied. “Dragons tend to stick to the same two or three locations.”

Kat looked back to where the rest of their party stood, talking to a merchant. “So, you want us to stick around or go? If we stay, we expect room and board to be covered.”

The warden nodded emphatically. “The Commander, he requested you wait if possible. He’s willing to cover your expenses. Said this one’s done enough damage, he wants it gone. Said it was worse than the bloody Archdemon.”

“Has experience with Archdemons, does he?” Christophe raised an eyebrow. The warden just shrugged in response.

“Ok, so where’s the best inn nearby? We’ll get settled in, then maybe have Peri and Tambor take a look at the nest?” Kat looked between the warden and her partner.

“Agreed.” Christophe nodded. “I’ll go tell them, you work out the details.”

“The Blue Rose is the best round these parts. Nothing fancy, but better then the brothel.” The warden suggested, pointing out a building nearby with a blue sign. “I’ll make sure they know we’re covering the bill.”

“Thank you, Serrah.” Kat nodded and went to join the rest of her team.

That evening they gathered in the dining area. Kat put an arm around Christophe, “I’m sorry we have to stay in Orlais longer.” 

He leaned his head on top of hers, “I want this noted on my memorial someday.”

“At least you don’t keep getting called rabbit.” Tambor grumbled.

“Who?” Kat sat up straight. These people were her family, even Zevran was starting to become such, and as family, she would allow no harm to them.

“Just about everyone. Innkeep most recently.” Tambor played with his food.

Kat looked back at the man in question.

“I’ll see to it that stops.” Tomas rose as Kat nodded to him. The large warrior strode to the bar. They couldn’t hear what Tomas said, only that the Innkeeper paled and nodded.

“What’d you say?” Zevran asked when the warrior returned.

“I implied very strongly that we could arrange for the dragon to nest on the inn.” Tomas grinned.

“You can do that?” Zevran asked.

“No.” Kat chuckled as Tomas winked and took a large drink of his ale.

“Did you find anything?” Christophe looked at Peri and Tambor.

“Enough to tell us this one seems rather large. It’s little wonder the Wardens were concerned. I don’t see anything that may have scared him off, so most likely it’s in search of food but will return.” Peri explained.

“Perhaps we should find some help when the time comes?” Christophe looked at Kat who nodded in agreement.

*** 

Anders closed up the clinic, blowing out the lanterns and shutting the door. Bethany had left earlier, having a dinner to attend with her mother. Anders set about preparing for the next day. This coming week would be busy, there was a planned rescue with the mage underground in three days from the Gallows, and work was picking up again in the Bone Pit, which, unfortunately, meant there’d be more injuries coming in to see him.

**_You are concerned for the rescue._ **

_ I’m always worried about a rescue, a lot could go wrong. _

**_We are doing good, helping these mages. Justice is being served by giving them freedom._ **

_ I agree, I just wish there was more we could do. Maybe it’s time to go back to working on the manifesto. _

Justice seemed to agree as Anders folded the last of the cleaned blankets. He walked back into his private room, removing his boots and slipping out of his robe, leaving him in just a cotton shirt and smalls. He laid down on his bed, the one luxury he allowed himself from the money earned in the Deep Roads was a real bed, and even that had taken a lot of badgering from Varric before Anders finally agreed to purchase one. Varric convinced him he’d be able to help those that needed it better if he was well rested.

Anders stared at the ceiling. He hated how quiet it was in the clinic at night. Hawke was gone on a mission with Varric, Fenris and Carver. Isabela was off making some sailors night probably and Bethany was at her dinner perhaps meeting her future husband. Aveline would be busy with the guards, which left Anders alone.

**_You are not alone, I am here. Why does it feel like there is something heavy on your chest?_ **

_ I know, and I appreciate it, Justice. Just...sometimes it would be nice to have someone though. I just feel lonely, that’s the weight you describe. _

**_You have me._ **

_ I mean a companion. Someone to love, to love me. Someone whose arms I could fall into at night, to keep the nightmares at bay, to make me feel like I matter. _

**_You matter, what you are doing for mages, it is serving justice. You do not need arms around you to do good._ **

Anders sighed. He knew Justice just didn’t understand. It had taken long enough for him to explain why it was important for Anders to go to the weekly card games, that friendship was necessary. Justice still didn’t understand why seeing Fenris and Hawke growing closer made Anders feel alone. Sometimes Anders wasn’t sure why either, it had been over eighteen months since he’d broken things off with Hawke. It had been uncomfortable at first, but over time the two of them had found their friendship again. Leandra had taken to inviting Anders to family meals once a week, often doting on him as a mother would.

**_You are thinking of a cat. Slavery is wrong._ **

_ First, owning a cat is not slavery, we’ve discussed this. Plus with a cat, they sort of more own you than the other way around. But I was thinking of Kat, not  _ a _ cat. _

**_This Kat, they are a friend?_ **

_ She was. _

**_Where is she? I do not remember a Kat at this card game where we deceive our friends._ **

_ Bluff.And no, I haven’t seen her in a long time. I’m not sure she is even alive. The last time I saw her, she was drawing Templars away from me. They may have killed her for all I know. I worry that they did. _

**_It would be a death with meaning, saving you from the Templars._ **

_ That doesn’t make it feel any more comforting. _

Anders rolled on his side and stared at the wall,falling asleep a few moments later.

He awoke the next morning to his stomach grumbling. Anders stretched and left his bed in search of food.

**_We are out of sustenance._ **

_ I can see that _ , Anders sighed.

**_We could see the elder Hawke. She likes to feed us._ **

Anders gave a small smile. Justice liked Leandra, she was kind and accepting of them. She’d been surprised to learn of Justice, but she doted on them just the same. Anders agreed, they’d need food. He left the clinic, using the key Bethany had given him long ago, he entered into the Amell kitchen.

Bethany was sitting at the kitchen table, Leandra stood facing the stove. She turned when she heard Anders enter and beamed at him. She walked up to him, taking his face in her hands and kissing his cheek.

“Anders, so good to see you. Sit, sit. We’re just having breakfast, I’ll make you a plate.” She gently pushed him towards the table.

Anders sat, “Thank you. I hope I’m not too much of a bother.”

Leandra stood behind him and squeezed his shoulders giving the top of his head a kiss. “You are never a bother, dear. You are welcome here anytime you wish. I’d offer you a room if I thought you’d take it.”

Anders squeezed her hand that was on his shoulder and smiled warmly. He liked to pretend sometimes that Leandra was his mother. She certainly treated him like a son, even after he and Hawke parted, she surprised him by showing up at his clinic a week later - which would have worried him, her walking in Darktown, had she not had Varric accompanying her.

_ “Anders, I realize you and Garrett have decided to just be friends. But I worry about you, please promise you will still come around.” She had said to him. _

_ “I’m not sure Garrett will want me there.” Anders tried to hide his disappointment. _

_ “Well it’s my home too, and I want you there. You’re a good boy, and I would miss seeing your face at my kitchen table. So make an old woman happy and promise you won’t stop coming around.” She touched his cheek, just as his mother did when he was a boy. Anders couldn’t help but promise. _

“How was your dinner?” Anders asked Bethany as Leandra put plates of food in front of the two of them, heading to the stove to make her own plate.

Bethany blushed a little. “He was really nice. His name’s Killian.”

“What do you think your brothers will think of him?” Anders asked her, happy to see Bethany happy.

“I think I’ll just keep those two idiots away from him as long as I can.” Bethany took a bite of her eggs.

“Bethany.” Leandra scolded her.

“Oh mother, you know Garrett and Carver are going to do everything they can to scare him off. If they had it their way, I’d die a lonely spinster.”  Bethany shook her head.

“Well we’ll just be sure they won’t do that.” Leandra patted her hand affectionately. “And what of you, Anders. Anyone special catch your eye?”

“Surprisingly, most don’t seem that interested in a poor man living in the sewers who is also an apostate.” Anders shrugged.

“Well then they are all blind and stupid.” Leandra pinched his cheek.

Anders blushed and gave a soft chuckle. All the loneliness from the night before melted away sitting at the table with his faux-mom with the real affection. Whenever he would sit at this table, he’d feel normal again, like he was worth something. Leandra always saw the best in him, and was free with the affection, making the rest of his day brighter.

*** 

Kat sat on the inn rooftop. From here she could get a good look at the nest as well as of the rest of the town they were in. She heard a sound to her right and turned to see Zevran approaching. He tilted his head in greeting and sat beside her.

“Look.” She pointed to the distance.

Zevran squinted to see what she was indicating. “The bird?”

“Not a bird. That’s our wayward dragon, coming back. He’s still a ways off though.”

Zevran hummed in understanding. “I should begin looking for assistance then.”

“Yes, but later. For now people watch with me.” Kat smirked at him.

“Time alone with a beautiful woman. How could I say no?” Zevran settled back in. Kat made a face but said nothing, instead turning to look out into the crowds.

“How is that seriously considered fashionable?” Kat laughed looking at a woman who looked as if there were hoops in her hat going in multiple directions.

Zevran chuckled, “I had a friend, Leliana. She told me once of women that would keep live birds in their hair.”

Kat scrunched up her nose. “I don’t even want to think about the mess that would make.”

“Si. She said it was a very short lived fad.” He nodded.

“Ooooo. Look there. Now that, that is a good looking elf.” She pointed to where two burly men and a dwarf were with the aforementioned elf.

“Bella, you injure me. Ouch. Zevran’s pride is wounded that you…” He looked to where she indicated, seeing a rather tall elf with shock white hair and bright white tattoos along his arms and throat. “Nevermind. I agree with your assessment. That is very much an attractive elf. Perhaps we could see if he would like a threesome?”

Kat snorted. “Feel free to see about just a duo. I’m happy to just sit and stare.” She watched the party work their way through the town. “I wonder who they are, what their story is?”

“It seems like the start of a joke. An elf, a dwarf and two humans walk into a bar…” Zevran began and Kat laughed, pushing at him playfully.

“With the size of the sword on his back, I wonder if he’s compensating for something?” Kat pondered, still chuckling.

“Ah, a mission. I shall report back what I find.” Zevran waggled an eyebrow.

“Just don’t get killed. I need you to find us help with the dragon.” She teased.

“Si. I shall not fail you, bella.”

*** 

He had done it! She was dead. The woman that had tormented him for so many years, her heart crushed in his hands. Fenris stood in shock, and then excitement for a moment. Then he realized that there was no way Danarius would not come for him now. He’d killed the magister’s prize student. Why? Why couldn’t they just leave him be?

“Fenris, are you alright?” He heard Hawke ask beside him.

“No.” He replied harsher than he’d intended. “Far from it. I need to be alone.”

They watched him leave, it was clear from the look on Hawke’s face that he wanted more than anything to follow, but wouldn’t. Anders gave the man a sympathetic smile and he and Varric followed their leader out of the caves.

“I should return home. Mother probably has questions about Orana just showing up.” Hawke said sorrowfully as they entered Kirkwall, the first he’d spoken since they left the caves.

“I’m sure Broody will be fine.” Varric pat the warrior on the back. “Come on, Blondie. Stew’s on me tonight.”

Anders nodded, giving Hawke a friendly pat on the shoulder before following the dwarf towards Lowtown.

Isabela and Merrill joined them for cards and ales, they were on their third round of both when Carver entered looking annoyed.

“Hello, sweet thing.” Isabela moved into Carver’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder as she continued to play cards.

“If he’s not careful, he’s going to make an honest woman out of her.” Anders whispered to Varric.

Varric chuckled. “May have already. I haven’t noticed her flirt with anyone else except you these last few months.”

“Who would have thought?” Anders smirked. He then spoke up louder so the rest could here. “So, what brings you around here so late?”

“I got sick of listening to Garrett and Fenris...you know.” Carver blushed and hid behind Isabela.

Anders spit his beer out from shock, earning him a glare from Varric. “Sorry, sorry. Just surprised. I figured the elf would never actually make a move. About Maker forsaken time.”

“What? Did I miss something dirty again?” Merrill asked.

“You did. I’ll explain it later, Kitten.” Isabela reassured the elf.

*** 

“Ah, here you are.” Zevran entered to find most of the party in Tomas and Christophe’s room playing Wicked Grace. “Where is the lovely Peri?”

“She took our weapons for sharpening. What’s up?” Kat asked as she picked up a card.

“I have found us another warrior. He claims experience with dragons.” Zevran looked quite pleased with himself.

“Great, let’s meet him.” Kat passed a card to Tambor who was reaching for the pile.

Zevran walked into the hall and then came back in with a man with short, reddish blonde hair, and just enough stubble to be attractive. “Allow me to introduce…”

Kat jumped up from the table. “Oh hell no. I’d sooner let a Templar join us then that...that...NO!” She stormed out of the room.

Zevran watched her leave with confusion on his face. He turned around hearing the sound of a chair slamming to the ground. Christophe was already on his way around the table when Zevran looked. The mage’s fist connected with the man’s jaw hard. His head threw back with the force of the punch.

“Fuck, I think I broke it.” Christophe yelled, shaking his hand. 

Tambor went to his side quickly, giving the now bleeding man an angry look. “Come on, let’s find a healer. And for the record, that would have been a perfect time to cast lightning.”

They both left as the man let out a dark chuckle, as if amused by the situation. He pulled out a handkerchief and blotted the blood from his mouth.

Zevran gave Tomas a confused expression, the warrior shrugged.

“I’ve no clue who he is, but I’ve never seen Christophe even miffed before, so based on what I just saw, pretty sure I don’t like him.” Tomas glared at the stranger.

“You should go.” Zevran stared at the stranger who shrugged and walked off.

“I’ll go find my mage, you look for Kat?” Tomas stood from the table, picking up the chair that had fallen when Christophe jumped back from the table. Zevran nodded, off to find her and ask forgiveness for whatever had upset her so much.

Kat looked out over the city from the roof top. The night sky was big and bright with stars. Looking out at them always relaxed her, and she could feel herself calming, imagining they were camping again instead of in a city. She heard who she assumed was Zevran walk onto the roof.

“Sorry, Zev.” She said, her arms still wrapped around her as she looked at the stars.

“You always were too emotional.”

She tensed, anger again at hearing his voice. “Mercer.” She growled. “I think it was made pretty clear you should leave.”

Instead of listening he moved closer. “We both know you need me for this, Katrina.”

“I don’t need you for anything. Goodbye.” She wondered if she’d be able to make up a story for how he fell off the roof.

Mercer laughed darkly. “That’s not what you used to say. You used to cry out my name.” He was now standing right in front of her, his hand brushed her unscarred cheek. “You used to tell me how much you needed me.”

“That was before I realized how much of an ass you really were. I’m no longer under your thrall.” She pushed him away.

Mercer smirked. “Oh don’t tell me, someone what, claimed you were beautiful to get their way into your bed? And you believed them? Was it the elf perhaps? Or that large man, the blonde?”

“No. He is three times the man you’ll ever be. Get lost, your help isn’t wanted or needed.” She walked away from him.

“If he’s so special, where is he?” Mercer started to walk towards her again. “Come on Kat, what do you say, a little roll around the hay for old times sake?”

“I believe the lady told you to go.” Zevran spoke behind Mercer.

“I don’t believe this concerns you, elf.” Mercer snarled.

“You upset my bella, it most certainly does concern me.” Zevran twisted Mercer’s arm behind his back.

“Zev here’s a former Crow. I’m sure he’d be happy to demonstrate his teachings if you’d like.” Kat turned around to face them. “Or you can just get the fuck out of here like I’ve been telling you to do for ten minutes now.”

Mercer growled but nodded and Zevran shoved him away, watching until he was sure the man was gone for good before turning his attentions to Kat.

“Bella. Lo siento.” He apologized to her.

“It’s ok, Zev.” She sighed, feeling the tension run out of her. “You had no way of knowing we knew him. Looks like someone hit him. You?”

Zevran shook his head. “That was your Vint.”

“Christophe?” Her voice raised in shock. “I’m sorry I missed that.”

“I am glad you chose not to listen to him. This other man, whoever he is, he is worth more of your time.” Zevran offered her open arms which she took, resting her head on his shoulder.

“He was. But he was lost to me long ago.”She sighed again, feeling herself relax as Zevran nuzzled her hair with his nose, his lips brushing gently along her brow. “At least I have a dragon to kill soon, it’s great for working out anger. I need to go talk to the Warden Commander again tomorrow. Do you want to go with?”

“No.” Zevran shook his head.

Kat pulled back to look at him, he was not one to refuse anything. “Zev?”

“You remember me telling you I was in love, si?” Zevran looked at his friend.

Kat nodded. “You said they didn’t feel the same.”

“Si. He is the Warden Commander here. Fenton.” Zevran took her hand in his. “It hurts too much. You will take Tomas.”

“Sure Zev, of course.” Kat turned so her back was against his chest and leaned her head back against his shoulder, his arms wrapping around her waist as they looked at the stars again.


	8. The Bone Pit

**** “Mage.” Fenris burst into the clinic, his eyes wide as they swept across the room.

Anders ran out of his back room, expecting to find someone bleeding based on the panic in the elf’s voice. He was surprised to find it was Fenris and only Fenris in his clinic.

“Fenris?” Anders grabbed his staff to protect himself in case this was the elf deciding he’d finally decided to attack him. He didn’t know what had happened between the elf and Hawke, but something had clearly driven them apart, almost overnight. It had looked like they were finally together several months ago and then, poof, nothing. Fenris stopped coming to the weekly games for a while, and when he finally did return, he would sit nowhere near Hawke, wouldn’t even look at him. If he didn’t have Hawke there to keep him in line, would the elf finally decide he’d no longer allow the mage to live?

“Haw...Garrett’s mother is missing.” Fenris blurted out. Anders realized it was panic, not anger on the elf’s face.

“What do you mean missing?” Anders asked.

“She was sent white lilies.” Fenris snarled, and Anders felt like his heart stopped. The killer they’d been searching for, the lilies were his calling card. “Hawke is waiting for us in Lowtown.”

Anders grabbed his bag of healing potions and followed Fenris out the door. They found the Hawke trio waiting outside a warehouse.

“Good, you’re here. The blood leads to this building.” Garrett nodded his head in the direction of the door. His voice was a combination of anger and worry.

“Let’s go find her.” Flame lit Bethany’s fingers. “And set whoever has her on fire.”

“When did your sister get so scary?” Anders raised an eyebrow as he spoke to Carver.

“She only seems sweet and innocent. I pulled her hair once when we were kids, got hit with a blast of ice.” Carver shook his head and gave Anders a look. “We don’t mess with Bethany.”

An hour later Anders and Fenris stood by helplessly as Garrett, Carver and Bethany were saying their goodbyes to Leandra, or what was left of her. The body of her killer still smoking, Bethany having kept her promise to set him on fire. Anders felt like his heart had been ripped out, all his power, his magic and yet he could do nothing to help this wonderful woman. He could do nothing more than watch her slip away as her children surrounded her. The only other time he’d felt so helpless was Karl.

They left quietly, Carver carrying his mother from the dungeon. When they got back into the open air Bethany finally collapsed into Garrett’s arms, crying. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, Anders and Fenris were left feeling as if they were intruding on a private moment.

As they arrived in Hightown, the Hawkes departed, heading back to their manor. Fenris shuffled his feet, looking unsure what to do.

“You should follow, he’ll need you.” Anders spoke softly.

Fenris shook his head. “He and I...he would not wish to see me.”

Anders touched the ribbon on Fenris’ arm. “He would. Trust me, Garrett, he’s taking this all on as his fault. He’s feeling the pressure of needing to be the parent now for the twins. Go to him, let him know he’s not alone.”

Fenris looked at Anders for just a moment and then nodded, turning towards Hightown.

Anders slipped back into his clinic, heading direction into his room, he sat on the bed and cried the tears he’d been holding in. He had no right, she wasn’t his mother.

**_She cared for you as her child, that was evident._ **

Anders wept, his heart hurting, wishing there was someone, anyone…

He heard the clinic door open and grabbed his staff, once again ready to fight.

“Anders?” He put down his staff upon hearing Bethany’s quiet voice calling to him. He walked to the front room to find her.

“Bethany, are you ok? Do you need healing?” He looked concerned. Did something happen after he left them? Were Garrett and Carver ok?

“I’m fine. No, not really, but...she loved you too Anders. I was worried, thought maybe you wouldn’t want to be alone any more than we do. Come back, you should be there too.” She reached out her hand to him.

Anders shook her head. “I’m not family, I shouldn’t…”

“Of course you are, you dummy. Mother loved you like you were one of us.” She took his hand, gently pulling him to her.

“Thank you.” Anders said, his eyes, red rimmed from crying, softened.

They entered the Amell estate through the Darktown entrance to find Carver sitting at the kitchen table, Isabela’s arm around him as he leaned on her shoulder crying. They both looked up to see Anders and Bethany. Carver rose from the table giving Anders a look that made the mage feel wary. He was surprised when Carver pulled him into a hug. Anders let out a long held sigh. This was family, this was what it was like to not be alone. Anders returned the hug, feeling Bethany lightly touch his back as she passed.

“I’ll make us all some tea.” She offered.

*** 

“I have a suggestion since we’re waiting for word on work, or perhaps a request is more accurate.” Tomas spoke to Kat and Christophe.

“Go ahead.” Kat gave him a nod.

“My family, they are less than a day’s walk from here. Perhaps we could head there? A real meal and there’s plenty of beds.” Tomas looked at the two of them hopeful.

“Are you sure?” Christophe suddenly looked as if he was at unease, something not usual for him at all. He was usually the confident one, Kat was the jumble of uncertainty.

“They’ll love you, I promise.” Tomas squeezed his hand.

“Very well. Tomas, prepare for us to invade your childhood home.” Kat winked as the warrior’s smile grew wide.

They arrived early evening to a decent sized farm house. Tomas knocked on the door, and a petite woman with blonde hair pulled back in a bun answered the door. She let out a squeal of delight and threw her arms around Tomas’ neck as he picked her up into a large bear hug. Once he let her down she looked at the rest of the group.

“Come in, come in.” She excitedly ushered them all into their home. A man looking very much like Tomas, but older and shorter rose from a chair and pulled Tomas into a hug as well. Kat wondered how such a large warrior could have possibly come from these two, he towered over them.

Tomas motioned to the rest of the group. “Ma, Da, these are…”

“No, no.” His mother shushed him. “Let me see if I can guess from your letters.”

Tomas chuckled but held his tongue.

“Ok, well you are Tambor, you are the one with connections to find them work.” She shook Tambor’s hand. “Welcome, I’m Elaine, this here is Tomas’ father Kurt.” She motioned to the man beside Tomas who nodded

“Pleased to meet you,” Tambor bowed his head.

“Ok, you. You are Peri, Antivan, and according to my son, one of the fiercest warriors he’s ever seen in action.”

Peri blushed. “He’s too kind. Thank you for welcoming us to your home.”

“Kat, am I right? Tomas says you don’t realize your own strength, and that you are one of the kindest souls he knows.” She beamed at Kat.

Kat felt a tear at her eye as she looked up at Tomas who shrugged and gave her a smile that said  _ it’s all true. _

“And you, you are the dashing ex-Crow who helped King Alistair and the Hero during the blight. Zevran!” She patted the man’s cheek in a motherly fashion.

“Si! It is a pleasure to meet such a beautiful woman.” Zevran nodded and kissed her hand. Tomas’ mother giggled in reponse.

Finally she walked up to the mage who looked incredibly nervous. “And you. You are the star of most of my son’s letters.” She took Christophe’s hand. “Oh Tomas, he’s more handsome than you even said. Christophe, it’s an honor to finally meet the man that’s stolen my boy’s heart. I am looking forward to getting to know you better.”

Christophe was beside himself, not knowing what to say. His own parents had disowned him, wanting nothing to do with him the minute they discovered he preferred men. But Tomas’ mother seemed not just accepting, but happy that Tomas’ was with him, and the way his father looked, he also seemed pleased.

Tomas’ mother linked her arm with Christophe’s, “Come dear, you can help me get some dinner together for everyone. It’ll give us a chance to talk and make Tomas worry what deep dark secrets I’m telling you.” 

Christophe let out a nervous laugh in reply, looking back at Tomas for help as he was led away.

She directed him to the kitchen table. “Here, cut these,” she handed him an onion and potatoes. “I have a stock going, we’ll add those and have dinner ready in a jiff.”

Christophe watched her for a moment. “Lady Preston…”

“No dear. Call me Elaine, or Ma even.” She patted Christophe’s shoulder as she sat down next to him giving him the warmest smile he’d ever seen.

“I...I’m just surprised. I appreciate the warm welcome. I hadn’t expected it.” He looked down at the vegetables.

“Because you’re a man?” Elaine touched his arm. Christophe nodded in return. “Dear boy, we want nothing more than for our children to be happy and healthy. From the letters we receive, you very clearly make Tomas happy, so how could we not adore you too?”

Christophe stopped cutting the vegetables long enough to pull Elaine into a hug. “Thank you. You don’t know how much that means, your acceptance.”

“My dear, if I know my son - and I do, I did raise the boy - you’re going to be family soon enough. So you might as well let me start doting on you now.” She stood up and squeezed Christophe’s shoulder again before heading off to check on the stock.

***

“Awwwww. Look at this, you wanted to be a dragon hunter even when you were little.” Kat pinched Tomas’ cheek as she held a child’s drawing.

Tomas chuckled as he playfully pulled the paper away from her. “Thanks Ma.”  He teased his mother for pulling out the drawings to show everyone in the first place.

His mother laughed, her arm wrapped around Christophe’s. “Well we need your young man here to know just what he’s getting, don’t we.” She patted her hand on Christophe’s arm.

Christophe grinned wide, his heart full of happiness. When Tomas had first suggested they visit his parents after their latest hunt he had been terrified.  But Tomas’ parents, they had welcomed him and the rest of the party with open arms. All his fears were gone, Tomas’ father even shook his hand and told him how happy he was that his son found someone so honorable to love. In the two weeks since they’d arrived, he felt as if these two were now his family.

Tambor returned from town holding a letter in his hand. “We just got a new job. Seems a dragon’s set up a nest in a mine.”

“Well, I knew I wouldn’t get to keep you here forever.” Tomas’ mother sighed. “You’ll return for your sister’s wedding?”

“Of course, ma.” Tomas nodded.

“And you’ll bring Christophe?” She beamed at the mage.

“I’m starting to think you like him better than me.” Tomas chuckled and kissed her cheek. “Yes, Ma, we’ll both come back.”

With hugs, kisses, and packs full of food, they left for the job, Zevran bidding them adieu also, as he headed back to Antiva to finish his fight with the Crows with the new skills he’d picked up from hunting.

*** 

Anders finished with his last patient, healing a broken arm when Hawke entered. Anders looked over and watched as the warrior sat down at the herb table waiting for him, looking forlorn. His mother’s death had hit him hard. Anders had thought perhaps it would lead to a reconciliation with Fenris, but they still seemed just as distant at card games as they ever were.

Hawke waited while Anders spoke to the man on the cot at the other end of the clinic. He flipped open the book in front of him, finding drawings. There was several of their friends, a woman with the same eyes and nose as Anders, his mother perhaps. On a few more pages he found the man he remembered they had tried to rescue in the Chantry, Anders’ former lover Karl. But more than any of those were drawing after drawing of someone Hawke had never seen before. A woman with long black hair, a scar on one cheek. Pages and pages of her.

Anders snatched the book out of his hand and slammed it shut, reaching up, he put it on a shelf. “That’s private, Hawke.”

“Sorry,” Hawke looked at his hands. “I...are you done for the night.”

“I am, just give me a moment to close up.” Anders spoke softer than before. He returned a few moments later and sat next to his friend. “What can I do for you, Hawke?”

“I have work. Hubert said something’s killing the miners.” Hawke still kept watching his hands.

Anders nodded. “I’ve been seeing cases lately, burns more than anything. We leaving now?”

Hawke shook his head, “No, we can go in the morning.”

“Is something else wrong?” Anders put his hand on Hawke’s arm. “Garrett, are you ok?”

Hawke moved faster than Anders could react, his lips soft on Anders’, his hand on the the mage’s cheek. Anders pushed him back gently.

“Garrett, no.” He stood up and sighed.

“Why? What’s wrong with me? Fenris doesn’t want me, you don’t.” Hawke put his head in his hands.

Anders sat back down beside him. “Garrett, it’s not safe for me to be with anyone. Justice doesn’t understand human relations, he could hurt you and I’d never forgive myself. Sweetheart,” Anders touched the warrior’s cheek. “I’m sorry. I wish I could give you what you deserve. I wish I could be what you want.”

Garrett let out a sob and nodded, resting his head on Anders’ shoulder. Anders kissed the man’s head and put his arm around him.

“Trust me, love. The stupid elf, I see the way he looks at you. I don’t think that story’s done being written.” Anders said softly into Garrett’s hair as he held him.

“I’m sorry, Anders. I just, sometimes it’s so lonely. I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine, I’m honored. But we both know whose attention you really want.” Anders reassured him.

*** 

“You hear that?” Kat shushed the rest of the camp. They all got quiet. Sure enough, there was the sound of someone crying and then a man’s voice, not clear enough to hear quite what he was saying, but enough to hear a cruelness in the tone.

“Should we look and see?” Peri asked softly and Kat nodded. Everyone gathered their weapons and slowly inched towards the sounds.

Quietly moving through the trees they came upon another campground.

“Templar.” Kat practically growled in a whisper as she saw a man talking to a crying girl, clearly a mage and no older than sixteen.

“Quiet, mage.” The man snarled. “You’ll stop crying when you get the brand tomorrow. We'll take the fight out of you, you'll be much more agreeable than to what I want.”

“No, Ser Karras.” The girl begged.

“I said quiet.” Karras kicked the bound girl.

Kat’s eyes got wide when she heard the man speak, her hand gripped Christophe’s wrist hard.

“Kat?” he whispered.

“That’s him.” She looked at her friend.

“You mean...your father?” Christophe asked and Kat nodded. “Well he needs to die then, and not just for what I think he's hinting at with that child. ”

Kat nodded as Christophe signalled to the rest of the team to prepare to strike. Once she could see they were all in position, Kat readied her blades. She appreciated this team, they prepared to move in simply on Christophe’s say so, no one but him knowing why. They were loyal, trustworthy, family.

Kat stepped into the firelight, her blades in her hands by his side. “I will not allow you to harm this girl or anyone ever again.”

Karras readied his weapon. “A mage lover? Move along, or I’ll bring you in as well.”

He and Kat circled each other as the others moved into position. Quick as a serpent, before Karras could act, Peri struck, slamming the Templar to the ground. Kat took the opportunity to lunge, her blade finding his chest.

The Templar clawed desperately as the lifeblood seeped from him. Kat glared coldly at him. “You killed my father. May the Maker see you burn.”

She turned to see the mage girl watching them, terrified.

“Christophe.” Kat called to her friend.

The mage cast a ball of light, and the girl seemed to relax, seeing another mage. Christophe moved behind her to release her bindings. “We can give you food and coin back at our camp.” The girl nodded and followed.

“Once she’s gone, let’s head out.” Kat told the rest. “It wouldn’t be good for us to be found so close to his body, and it’s probably safer for the miners if we take care of this dragon tonight if possible.”

“Peri and I will tear down the camp.” Tomas nodded and set about to do that. He watched as Kat walked away from the group, tears falling down her cheek.

*** 

They looked over the pit, Kat signaled to Peri and Tomas to get into position. “Tambor, go stealth. We need to clip it's wings as quickly as possible. Keep it from getting to that ridge.” She whispered to the elf. 

A moment later, he disappeared before their eyes, and Christophe cast a protection spell on him and Kat of them as they moved closer to the dragon. Christophe kept an eye out for attack as Kat set ice traps out. She then signaled to him it was time. He cast a burst of light to the side of the beast drawing its attention away from where Tambor sat in wait. The dragon took the bait, charging at the light, tripping one of the ice traps. It let out a roar as it froze. Seconds later Tambor appeared on top, cutting the tendons on both wings, making them useless.

“Now!” Kat shouted as Peri and Tomas charged.

The dragon let loose a breath of fire that just barely missed Christophe. The mage shot forth a barrage of ice crystals, piercing through the scales of the beast and effectively pinning it to the ground.

Tomas lifted Peri into the air, she raised her sword, dropping down onto the beast’s head and slamming her sword through the brainpain.  With a thundering noise, the dragon crashed to the ground dead.

“Excellent work.” Kat grinned, out of breath herself. Their experience and teamwork had made quick work of the beast.

They sliced what they could from the dragon’s scales and put them into sacks. “Tambor, collect our pay, we’ll meet you at the tavern in town.” Kat handed him one of the claws for proof of the kill.

“I’m hungry, ales and stews around.” Peri smirked as they headed off.

*** 

“Andraste’s ass.” Hawke growled as they made their way to Lowtown. “I was really looking forward to killing a dragon.”

“You were looking forward to facing a fire breathing beast that could swallow you whole?” Fenris raised an eyebrow.

“Well, it would have been really awesome in Varric’s story.” Hawke reasoned with a shrug.

“Don’t worry, Champ. I’ll make sure you slayed the wild beast in heroic fashion.” Varric chuckled.

“As opposed to the truth. Entered the Pit to find a dead, skinned corpse.” Anders teased.

“How can I be a legend if someone beats me to it?” Hawke threw his hands in the air in protest.

“Come on, I’ll buy you drinks until you think you really did kill it yourself.” Varric offered as he opened the door to the Hanged Man.

Justice started buzzing in Anders’ head loudly the moment the mage entered the room. Anders scanned the front room for any signs of danger. There seemed to be nothing but the usual crowd, a few tables of sailors and adventurers, but nothing out of the ordinary, definitely no Templars. Justice continued to buzz as Isabela approached the group.

_ Are you ok? _

**_She’s here. She’s here. I sense her._ **

_ Who? _

**_Her._ **

_ Oh, well that completely clears it up. _

**_Let me out, I’ll find her._ **

_ I can list a dozen reasons why that’s a bad idea. No. _

“You ok, Blondie?” Varric looked up at him with a concerned expression.

Anders shook his head. “Justice is worked up about someone. A danger perhaps, I’m not sure, he’s not being very clear. I think it’s best I head back to the clinic just to be safe.”

“Bela, see to it he makes it back to the clinic safely.” Hawke asked the pirate who nodded. “Without molesting him.” Hawke added.

“Party poop.” She winked at Hawke. “Come on, handsome. We can negotiate about that lightning spell again.” She smirked as they walked out.

Anders got only a foot out the door before he was nearly run down by a bald elf.

“Sorry, sorry. Got distracted.” The elf apologized before moving into the Hanged Man.

“Come on, let’s get back quickly. I don’t trust how Justice is acting.” Anders picked up his pace towards Darktown.

*** 

Tambor signalled to the server as he joined the rest of the party at the table. “Did you all see who just walked in?”

Kat turned around to face the door as the others all looked. “Ooo, it’s that elf I told you about in Orlais.” She turned back to smirk at Christophe.

“Oh, he is delicious.” Christophe chuckled as Tomas tried to cover the mage’s eyes in mock jealousy.

“No, not him. The human next to him. That’s the Champion of Kirkwall.” Tambor’s voice full of awe.

“Mmm. I think he is the one that is delicious.” Peri purred.

“I heard he took down the Arishok.” Kat turned back around to face the table.

“Probably exaggerated. I mean seriously, an Arishok?” Tambor shook his head as a drink was placed before him. “I’ve got our coin.”

Kat noticed Christophe begin to squirm across from her. She turned back around to face the door again and saw three Templars enter. “Crap.” She whispered.

“I’m thinking perhaps we leave, set up camp a few hours away if we can.” Peri suggested. “Much as I was looking forward to a real bed again.”

Kat nodded. “Let’s finish our meals first, then head out.”

“You’re safe, love.” Tomas put his arm around Christophe’s waist reassuringly.

They finished their stew and paid, heading out the door once they were convinced the Templars were otherwise occupied.

“Which way do you think is fastest out of here?” Kat asked Tambor as they exited the tavern.

“This way, near the market, we can be out of the gates in fifteen minutes.” Tambor had been in Kirkwall before and knew it better than the rest.

They walked, surrounding Christophe without making it seem like they were, just in case anyone should be looking. Kat heard two people talking and froze.

“Shit.” She squeaked as she turned, walking into an alley. The others followed without question.

“Kat?” Peri asked. She was turned away from them, keeping a lookout that they hadn’t been followed.

Kat paced in the alley.  _ Shit shit shit.  _ This was beyond ‘not good’ this...this was the worst. Kat’s breath quickened as she started feeling panicky. Her arms started to wave at her sides as nerves took over.

“Kat, what’s going on?” Christophe’s eyes followed her movements.

“That woman. The one in Knight-Commander dress. She’s the one that took my mother.” Kat was pale, very pale and Christophe knew there was more.

“You’re not expecting us to fight her, are you?” He asked.

“No. I ran into one other time. I was just a stupid kid then out for revenge. I cut her with my knife, but she fought back. I...I honestly don’t know why she didn’t just kill me. Maybe because I wasn’t even eighteen yet, not sure.” Kat stopped pacing and turned to her friends. “She made it very clear that if she ever saw me again she wouldn’t be so merciful. She won’t hesitate to kill me if she sees me. We… we….”

Christophe grabbed her arms to keep her from collapsing as it was clear she was starting to have a panic attack. She started gasping for breath. “Kat, look at me, slow down. Deep breaths, we’ve got you.”

“She...she can’t find me... “ Kat wheezed, trying to focus on Christophe and his breathing. “She’ll kill me.”

“Alright.” Tambor squeezed her hand. “We’ll just make sure that doesn’t happen then. “You all wait here. I’m an elf, no one will even notice me. I’ll go back out there and let you know when it’s clear.” Kat nodded in agreement and Tambor snuck back out of the alley.

Fifteen minutes later he returned. “It’s clear, she’s left along with the others.”

“Thank the Maker.” Tomas let out the breath he’d been holding. He looked at Kat who only looked slightly less freaked than she had before. He hoped once they got out of the city Christophe would be able to calm her.

The group exited the alley to find the marketplace deserted save two sailors heading towards the tavern who paid them little mind, engrossed in their own conversation. “Let’s get out of here, the sooner the better.” Kat said as she strode toward the stairs up.

They moved quickly but with care, making sure that the Knight-Commander wasn’t somewhere they’d run into her.

“It’s just up ahead.” Tambor reassured Kat.

“Halt!” Someone growled behind them. “You harbor an apostate, by order of the Templars you are under arrest.” 

“Shit!” Kat spat out. She pulled out her blades as Tambor threw a smoke bomb to make it more difficult for the Templars to locate them.

*** 

Anders paced in his clinic. Justice was agitated, but the spirit wasn’t making sense, so Anders couldn’t figure out why. He tried to keep himself occupied while the spirit buzzed about. He hung the towels he’d just washed to prepare for the coming week and straightened the cots.

**_Someone is coming, armor_ ** _! _

_ Templars? _

**_I cannot tell, they are at the door._ **

Anders grabbed his staff as he heard a loud rapid knock at the door. “Healer.” Someone shouted.

He opened the door, ready to fight whoever was there. A party of four entered, the largest holding the limp body of a woman in his arms.

“Please, you need to save her.” A man with long black hair spoke in a Tevinter accent.

“I don’t help slavers.” Anders growled. Where they here looking for Fenris? If so, they’d chosen the wrong mage to come to for help. He readied his magic for a fight.

The large man pushed past him, carrying the body to one of the cots.

“I’m going to just ignore how racist that is for now because we need your help. We’re not slavers, the Templars attacked. She was protecting me, you need to save her.” The man, who Anders now realized was a mage, pleaded with him, his voice waived, as if ready to cry. “We have money, we’ll pay whatever you want, please.” 

Anders took a look at the group, they all looked downcast, worried for the injured woman, their leader perhaps? A blonde woman stepped in front of an elf that Anders realized was the same one he’d nearly run into earlier that night. The woman was more beautiful than anyone had the right to be, Anders was captivated as she spoke, her voice soft and Antivan. “Please, Ser mage. We are desperate, the Templars, they will be looking for us. No one can know we were ever here. We were told you could help, that you would be discrete.”

He turned back around, the large warrior now holding the mage who was near tears. Anders nodded. He could flush out who these people were later, the healer in him sensed someone in need of help, and quickly. He pulled his stool to the cot, ignoring the energy coming from Justice.

_ We heal now, deal with the danger after, Justice. _

Sitting down he let his magic move from his hand to the large hole in her gut. “Let’s see what we can do.” He reached out and brushed away the hair obscuring her face and froze. “Kat?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT????


	9. You're Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders heals an injured Kat and then dreams of a future while waiting for her to awaken.
> 
> Kat formally meets Justice.
> 
> Then there's some smut, but you're probably not interested in that....

“Kat” Anders voice shook. 

He heard the sound of weapons being drawn and turned to find four blades pointed at him. The other mage was the only one not to draw on him. Instead the man looked at him, as if judging him. He waved his hand, and the others sheathed their weapons without a word. 

The Tevinter turned to the others. “He won’t turn her in.” He reassured them and then motioned to the herb table and they all took a seat, letting Anders attend to her while the mage sat on the ground beside her.

**_She is dying. You need to act fast._ **

_ I will. _

**_She is my friend, help her._ **

Anders tried to figure out what that meant while his fingers let forth magic and he began to search for the worst of the damage to her. Justice didn’t fully understand what friendship meant, so Anders was aware that she might not actually be his  _ friend _ , but it did mean that somehow he knew who she was. But how? How did he know Kat?

_ There! _ He thought to himself as he located the slice through her organs, he poured his magic into that, needing to fix that first before he could repair the outer damage.

“You hold on. I am not worth dying for so you just hold on.” He heard the other mage talking to her, touching her face with affection, his voice shaky and full of worry.

“My table, I’m going to need a lyrium potion soon.” Anders told them without looking up, needing to concentrate.

A moment later the elf was placing a few lyrium potions beside him. “Thank you.” Anders replied.

He stopped only to take one when he felt his magic wane and then concentrated again. Finally he felt the organs mend, putting themselves back together.

“There’s linen on that shelf there, I need it.” He motioned with his eye to the shelf in question.

The woman moved quickly despite her armor and brought it to him. “What do you need me to do?” She asked, her eyes moving between Anders and Kat.

“Cut a few strips and hand them to me while you cut more. I’m going to need a lot. I have to get the blood cleaned out before I can close her up and we have to do it quick before she goes into shock.” Anders explained as he felt the last of the bleeding inside stop.

The woman teared strips handing them to him as quick as he used them, throwing the bloody strips on the ground to worry about later.  _ Don’t you dare die on me sweetheart, not after I just found you again. _

They went through nearly the whole sheet before Anders cleaned up enough blood to feel that it was safe to close her up. “The alcohol, there.” He motioned with his head and the woman brought it to him quickly. “Put some on that last strip.”

He then looked to the mage who was still focused on her face. “She may buck with this one. I need you to help me keep her as still as you can so she doesn’t reopen her wounds.”

The large warrior moved to the opposite side of where Anders sat and put a hand on her shoulder and one on her leg to hold her down. The mage held her other shoulder. “We’re ready, Healer.”

Anders pressed the alcohol soaked rag on the slice through her abdomen, needing to ward off infection before he could close it up. As he predicted, despite her being unconscious, she bucked. Thankfully the men were able to keep her from moving very much. He threw the rag on the ground with the others and started healing again. He watched as the muscles and then the skin regrew and reattached. It was slow, but soon it was done, There was a tiny scar, one he could heal tomorrow, but otherwise she was good. He passed by with his magic one more time to check he hadn’t missed anything. Convinced it was done,Anders sat back.

“She’s healed.” He announced.

“Why isn’t she awake?” The warrior asked, his eyes darting between the two mages.

“Her body needs to still recover. She most likely won’t wake until morning.” Anders explained. “She needs to stay here, just in case.”

“The Knight Commander…” The woman began to protest.

“She doesn’t know Kat’s here yet. Peri, you and Tambor find a room for the night at that tavern. Tomas and I will stay here until she’s awake. If you find danger report back.” Anders watched as the two nodded without question and left, their eyes lingering on Kat once more before they did.

Anders began cleaning up the rags. He didn’t know who this Tevinter was, her husband perhaps? He hadn’t left her side since they brought her in.

“You trust him?” He heard the warrior, Tomas, say.

“I do, or at least I know she does. I’ll tell you later, amateus.” The Tevinter told the warrior. Anders looked up to see the warrior place a kiss on the lips of the mage. Realizing he was not her husband made Anders happier than he probably should have.

**_Thank you. Her essence feels stronger._ **

_ You’re welcome. You’ll need to explain to me later how you know her. _

The mage approached him as Anders washed his hands.

“Thank you. She...she is family. To think...if she had died saving me I don’t know what I would have done.” He looked back at her, his face fallen. He turned back to Anders. “The name’s Christophe, and that’s Tomas. And if I’m not mistaken, you’re Anders.”

“How did you…”

“She told me about you. The rest have no idea who you are, she only told me. She doesn’t say much about it anymore, but I know she never got over you. When I saw the way you looked at her, I knew it was you.” Christophe gave him a soft smile. “Will she really be ok?”

Anders looked at the mage and then back at Kat. She hadn’t forgotten him? She’d told her friend about him, enough that her friend would trust him. His heart pounded heavy in his chest. “From what I can see, yes. She needs rest more than anything. You’re both welcome to stay on the cots here tonight. I’ll be back in my room if anything changes with her. I just need to check her again when she wakes up.”

Christophe nodded and returned to the warrior, sitting beside him. The larger man put a comforting arm around him as they sat beside Kat’s cot.

Anders returned from his room a few minutes later. “I thought she might be more comfortable in a change of the shirt since hers is ruined. She’d probably prefer you dress her than me.”

“That may change when she wakes up,” Christophe winked at him. “Thanks.”

Anders nodded and returned to his room. He looked at his hands, he was shaking. She was here, just a few feet away, right in the other room. After six years, after worrying for so long that the Templars she had tried to save him from had killed her, she was here in his clinic.  _ Please, please let her be ok. _

**_She will be ok, her essence is strong now._ **

The adrenaline from earlier was leaving his body, and he could feel himself crashing hard. Anders laid down in the bed, falling asleep within minutes.

“This healer is a friend of yours?” Tomas asked, whispering so as not to wake Kat.

“Never met him before in my life.” Christophe shook his head, his hand still brushing Kat’s cheek, as if worried she’d disappear if he stopped touching her.

“But you know him?”

Christophe looked at his love. “Remember when I told you it wasn’t me she was crying for with the Templars?”

Tomas nodded.

“It’s for him. She thought for sure he was dead. I don’t know what happened, but I think she’ll be better when she wakes up and sees him here.” Christophe leaned his head on the warrior’s arm.

“It is late. We should sleep. Come.” Tomas tugged Christophe to standing and led him to two cots nearby. “She’ll be ok.”

***

Anders awoke the next morning early. He stretched, rubbing his face as he tried to wake himself. He heard someone shuffle in the next room and suddenly felt butterflies, remembering who was just on the other side of the cloth door. He stood and stretched, the ache in his muscles from the night before all but gone. He smiled, glad he had let Varric talk him into purchasing the actual bed. The rest of his money that he’d earned from helping Hawke over the years he let Varric handle, the dwarf seeing to it that the clinic always had what it needed. Anders never asking for any of it for himself.

He walked into the main clinic to see the large warrior was still sleeping heavily in a cot. The mage was beside Kat, putting another blanket on her. He looked up and tilted his head in greeting to Anders in greeting.

Anders watched her sleeping face. She was still as beautiful as he remembered. She was in his shirt that he had given her friends the night before. He felt something inside himself stir at the sight of her in his clothes. He felt nervousness at the thought of her waking. Would she leave right away, or would she be as happy to see him as he was to see her? Would she be angry that he’d never met them in Highever? He’d wanted to, more than anything, and it had broken his heart that he couldn’t, even more than the fear of being dragged back to the Circle. When the Templars caught him, he wasn’t sure if they were the same that the two of them had spotted, and if they were there then it must have meant they’d either stopped chasing her or they had killed her. It was that reason he’d wanted more than anything to get to Highever, to see if she had survived. For so long he’d gone through life, unsure if she was alive or dead, feeling like a part of him was missing that he’d never get back.

But soon she’d awaken, and he’d be able to talk to her, to see that she was ok, and she’d see...Anders looked at his hands. She’d see that he was a shadow of his former self. Dirty and too thin and nothing like the brash young mage she knew and she’d be disappointed. How could she not? Anders ran his hand along the back of his head, feeling how greasy his head felt. He could at least get a bath so he didn’t smell when she saw him.

“I need to run an errand. I don’t expect her to wake for quite a while, her body’s still healing. You will be alright?” He asked Christophe, who nodded. “I’ll be back soon.”

Anders walked through Darktown on his way to Lowtown. It was early still. The sun just starting to rise when he made it to Lowtown. It was quiet, and the streets had that grey from the night still holding on for it’s last gasp of breath. He entered the Hanged Man to see sailors already in for breakfast, or perhaps still there from the night before. He probably shouldn’t have come this early, it was too early. What was he thinking?

“Surprised to see you this early, Blondie.” he felt a hand on his arm.

Anders turned to see just the dwarf he’d been looking for. “Varric, I was hoping you’d be up.”

“What can I do for you?” Varric asked, motioning for Anders to follow as he went to the bar for his own breakfast.

“I was hoping I could get use of one of the bathing rooms.” Anders fiddled with his robes. His patched together, dirty robes. “You wouldn’t happen to have another robe around?”

Varric lifted an eyebrow. “You got a date or something?”

“Something like that,” Anders shuffled his feet. Maybe this was a bad idea.

Varric chuckled in his usual Varric way. He reached behind the bar and produced a key and a bag. “Here, shaving kit in there too if you want. I’ll get one of the serving girls to fetch you some robes.”

“Thanks Varric. Take it out of my funds.” Anders was already up the stairs.

“Planned on it.” Varric winked, and then turned to call over one of the servers.

Anders watched as two attendees filled the tub with water as he waited in the dressing room. Once they left, he put his hand in the tub and immediately felt grateful for his magic, the water was cold. His fire magic quickly turned it to steaming water. He undressed, letting the old robe fall to the floor.

He sank into the warm water and let out a sigh, feeling the relief of the heated water against his skin. He grabbed the soap from the side table and began to wash away the grime from his body. Doing so felt almost cathartic. Like he was also washing away so much of the hurt and anger and loneliness he often felt. He lathered the soap in his hands and began to scrub at his hair, enjoying the feel of the massage against his scalp. Anders ducked below the water to rinse off his hair and then leaned back along the back of the tub, closing his eyes and just drifting.

She was back. She’d probably be hungry when she awoke, he could take her out, get something to eat together. He imagined introducing her to his friends. She and Isabela would probably get along famously. She’d dote over Merrill like the elf was a little sister. Hawke...well he might be jealous at first. But then they would quickly see how fun and sweet and strong she was and soon they’d all love her like he did.

He rose from the tub, drying himself off as best he could with a towel and then wrapping one around his waist as he stood in front of the mirror. Varric was right, he did need a shave. He’d neglected himself for too long, his beard short but clearly not maintained. As he shaved he continued his thoughts from earlier. A house, nothing fancy like the Hawkes had, he couldn’t afford that, but maybe something small in Lowtown, near the entrance to Darktown so that he could still work his clinic. He pictured Bethany and Kat becoming friends, Bethany maybe teaching Kat some of her mother’s recipes. Kat and Carver sparring, maybe she’d teach him some moves from hunting. Fenris...he was a tougher nut to crack, but if anyone could do it, it’d be Kat.

He walked into the dressing room to find that, as promised, Varric had produced another set of robes, these ones black with gold trim and just stunning. Anders put them on and felt like a new man, he felt more confident, and practically giddy with the thought of Kat seeing him like this.

He entered the front room of the tavern, handing the key back to Varric. The dwarf whistled, “Those robes look great.”

“Great choice, thanks Varric. I’ll see you later, maybe.” Anders nodded.

“Have a good ‘something like a date’.” Varric called out as he exited.

He walked back toward Darktown, his steps feeling lighter. He imagined himself coming home from a long day at the clinic, she’d be there, in their home to greet him. Maybe tell him about a dragon they had hunted. She’d want to know about his day, would sit in his lap, arms around him, tell him that she had missed him that day just as much as he’d missed her. He stopped by a merchant to pick up bread, some cheese and dried nug - in memory of their first hunt together - so that there would be food when she awoke.

**_You cannot...the mages need freedom._ **

_ Maybe she’d fight with us, instead of fighting dragons she’d fight Templars. Kat could help teach those that escaped how to survive like she taught me. _

**_This...it makes sense. She would be an ally._ **

It was the first time Justice actually seemed to agree with something Anders wanted for himself, and it filled him with more hope. He barely remembered the walk back, but suddenly there he was, in front of his clinic door again. Anders took a deep breath, she could be awake, this could be it. He opened the door and closed it quietly behind him. He looked over but she was still asleep. The warrior sat beside her as the mage swept the floor, which would make more sense had the floor not been dirt, but Anders recognized the act for what it was - Christophe needing to find something to do with nervous energy while he waited for his friend to awaken.

Anders brought the food to the table. “I have some things from the market if you are hungry. I’ll check on Kat just to be sure she’s ok.”

The warrior stood and smirked at Anders. “You clean up nice. She’ll be impressed.”

Anders blushed slightly and went over to look at Kat before he got more teasing from Christophe. The two men ate silently as Anders let his magic wash over her. She seemed to be doing well, no bleeding missed, she just needed more time to recover, her body hadn’t gone into shock, but it had been close. Healing magic could only do so much, the rest the body had to take care of, like replenishing the blood she’d lost.

“She’s ok. I expect she’ll awaken soon.” He reassured the worried looking men.

Anders now felt that same nervous energy and needed to do something. He walked to the far end and found the linens he’d washed the day before were now dry. He started pulling them down, folding them.

“There’s been no one else.” He looked up to see Christophe standing nearby, watching him.

“What?” Anders didn’t understand what the man was talking about.

“Since you. She’s not been with anyone else. And despite what she thinks about her appearance, there has been someone interested. But it’s only been you, this mysterious mage I only heard about and wasn’t entirely sure she hadn’t made up.” Christophe explained and Anders felt a little guilty that it had not been the same for him. He’d tried to move on, he and Nathaniel had worked their way through most of the eligible women in Amaranthine and there had been Garrett years ago, although that was ended quickly.

“I thought...when the Templars caught me I thought they’d killed her.” Anders let out a sigh as he continued to fold the bedding.

Christophe shook his head. “Those must have been others. She, well we, killed the two that followed her back to camp.” Christophe looked back to the other two in the clinic and then to Anders. “Do you love her? I’m sorry to be so blunt, but she’s been hurt before, badly, and I’m not going to set her up for more.”

Anders nodded, it was one truth he could never deny. “I do. And I know about her ex, she told me.”

“We ran into him a while back. I punched him in his face.” Christophe smirked.

Anders smiled back, “I imagine that was gratifying.”

“Very.” Christophe laughed. “I’m going to sit with her again. Thank you. She...she would have died without you yesterday, I don’t know how to tell you how much it means to me that she’ll be ok.”

Anders shook his head. “I’m a healer, it is what I do.”

*** 

Kat opened her eyes slowly, everything seemed blurry. A blob in front of her moved quickly, and she felt someone touch her hand and squeeze softly. She blinked, and the blob focused and became her Vint. She smiled softly at him as he bent down and kissed her cheek.

“Katrina Malaine. No more scaring me like that ever again. I aged ten years in a day. Tomas now has to live with an old man because of you.” His soft voice showing he didn’t mean the words he was saying.

“Whatever happened it must have been bad if you’re middle naming me.” Kat smirked as she sat up slowly, feeling her body protest the movement when she let her legs hang off the side of the cot. “Where are we?”

“Still in Kirkwall, in a hidden clinic so don’t worry, the Templars don’t know where we are.” Christophe spat out quickly seeing the worry in her face when he’d mentioned Kirkwall.

“What happened?” She asked, looking down to see she was in a shirt she didn’t recognize that was clearly too big for her.

“You stepped in front of a Templar’s sword to protect me is what you did. Don’t ever do that again, I’m not worth it. You’re my family, I can’t lose you.” He looked like he was ready to cry.

Kat kissed the hand that held hers and she touched his cheek. “Don’t you know I feel the same way about you, you stupid man?”

Christophe sniffled but nodded, squeezing her hand again. His eyes looked behind her and then back to hers again. “The healer needs to check you over before we can leave.”

Kat nodded as she heard someone sit in front of her, she was still focused on Christophe. “You’re ok?”

“Yes, and now so are you.” He tilted his head to indicate she should look at whoever had sat. 

Kat looked over and dropped Christophe’s hand. Tears fill her eyes. It was...he was… She felt the glowing of magic as he inspected her, but his eyes were focused on her face. Kat’s hands covered her mouth to hide a sob. “Is it...you’re real?”

Anders nodded, a hand coming up to touch her cheek, the lump in his throat keeping him from talking. Kat reached out a shaky hand to touch his face, afraid to find it was an illusion.

“I think you two have some catching up to do. Tomas and I will return. Tomorrow.” Christophe beamed at the two of them as he walked out the door where Tomas had been standing guard.

Her other hand touched Anders, cupping his face as she felt tears fall down her cheek.”Anders.” she breathed out his name. He leaned forward, their foreheads touching, him cupping her face with his hands as well. They both closed their eyes, just breathing in, feeling the nearness of the other. They sat like that, quiet, no sound but their breathing for several minutes.

Soft lips found hers and Kat sighed and relaxed into the kiss. One of his hands weaved into her hair, the other continuing to stroke her cheek as he kissed her. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed her touch until just this moment. The fact that Justice wasn’t complaining was unusual. Justice. Shit.

When he pulled away, she kept her hands on his face and blushed. “Anders. How?”

He brushed away one of her tears with his thumb. “I’ll answer any questions you have but first I need to tell you something, actually two somethings.”

“Anything.” She smiled, tilting her head to kiss the hand on her cheek.

“I love you, Kat, I know I shouldn’t, that it was little more than a week six years ago, but I love you and I was too scared to say it back then but I need you to know now.”  _ In case what I tell you next has you running for the door. _ “I love you.”

His lap was full of dragon hunter a moment later as she straddled him and kissed him fiercely. She started with his lips, moving to his cheeks and jaw. “I love you too, for so long.” 

She kept kissing and he felt his whole body stir at the feel of her. His cock twitched, taking notice of the closeness of her, and Anders hands ran under his shirt that was much too big on her, running his thumbs along her bare waist. She began to nip at his neck and Maker, he wanted her. He realized he hadn’t finished and as hard as it was, he put his arms on her shoulders and pushed her back.

“Anders?” She looked at him. He didn’t want her. She was so stupid, she’d just was so excited to see him, so relieved that he was alive that she’d pounced. “I’m sorry.”  She adjusted herself and slipped off his lap. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“No, Kat. Trust me when I say I very much want you to. But I need to tell you something, no secrets, remember.” She nodded in reply. “Several years ago, I had a friend. He was a spirit trapped on this side of the Fade helping the Grey Wardens. The body he was in was that of a dead man, and it was deteriorating to the point that it would soon just be a skeleton. He needed a new host, and I needed a way to escape the Wardens to get to Kirkwall. Karl was here and needed to be rescued, so I…” Anders took a deep breath. This was where she’d walk out. “Justice and I we...merged.”

Kat looked at him for a moment saying nothing, while Anders started to panic in his mind.  _ Why, why did you tell her? So close to everything and now she’s going to leave. _

“Did you find Karl?” She asked softly.  _ THAT? That was what she wanted to know out of all he had told her? Of course it was. She knew what Karl had meant to him, he’d told her all about him. She’d be worried about him. _

Anders shook his head. “By the time I found him the Templars...He was gone.”

“Tranquil?” She asked, just as soft as before. Anders looked down and nodded. He felt a hand caress his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

Anders tilted his head enough to kiss the palm of her hand. It had been so long since he’d last seen Karl, but the memory, he missed the man all over again, but she was there, helping.

“So...are you…,” Anders looked up and Kat tilted her head as if trying to puzzle something out, her hand still on his cheek. “How does this work with Justice? Can he hear me? Do you hear him?”

Anders nodded. “He acts like he knows you.”

“He does. I mean not well, we only talked a few minutes, but you tend not to forget meeting a dead glowing Grey Warden.” Kat smirked at him.

“He...he wants to talk to you.” Anders frowned.

“Let him. Can you?”

“I can, but I can’t control him. He...he has never approved of my having affection for anyone, I don’t want him to hurt you.” Anders shook his head.

“Anders. I’m a big girl who fights dragons and Templars,” she smirked. “I can handle it.”

Anders rolled his eyes and shook his head. Between the woman before him and the spirit in his head, he knew he’d lost this argument. A moment later he glowed blue.

**“It is good to see you again.”** His voice boomed, something deeper than Anders’ normal voice.

“Justice. I think it’s an understatement to say it’s a surprise to see you.” Kat smirked. “You are well?”

**“We are. We are going to bring Justice to the mages. We remember the words you told us, of the cruelty laid upon them.”**

“And Anders wants this too?” She worried. She didn’t like the idea that he might be being used to do as the spirit wished.

**“He does. He wishes for no one else to lose as much as he has, he wants them to have the same rights as everyone. He...it is confusing in his head sometimes. Too many emotions all at once.”**

Kat nodded and frowned slightly. “The human mind, it’s strong, it does what it can to protect itself. Sometimes...sometimes the pain is too much and it fractures. Anders has had many horrible things done to him by Templars that were  _ supposed _ to be protecting him. It’s no wonder it has affected him.” Her heart hurt for him, for the pain he carried. “You protect him?”

**“He is my friend. I would not see harm come to him.”**

“Justice, can you see his memories? Do you know what they did to him in the Circle? How they abused him? Do you know about the marks on his back?” She searched the spirit’s eyes.

Justice nodded.  **“I can see all his thoughts as he can see mine.”**

“I hate them, the Circle, the Chantry, the Templars. If you figure out someway to make them pay for what they did, to make them suffer, take it. Those bastards had no right to do that to him, I don’t care what reason they think they had. You rip them apart for me, for him. Never let them hurt another mage like they hurt Anders. He’ll never ask for that, he won’t focus on himself, but you do this for him anyway.” Her voice was full of barely contained anger.

**“He still thinks of you often. It is not a distraction like the others. Thoughts of you push him to action.”**

It hurt a little to know there were others, but it had been six years. Kat realized it was wrong to expect for him to not have needs. But that he still thought of her, that was nice to hear. “So he...there’s someone else in his life then?” She tried to keep the disappointment from his voice.

**“He has friends, but I do not think this is what you are asking. No, he does not. He is too busy helping the mages and those here that need our help.”**

“I’d like to talk to Anders again, if I could.” Kat requested. Justice nodded and a moment later the glowing was gone.

Anders watched her, terrified of what she would say to him, or she’d say nothing and just leave because he couldn’t ever just have one thing in his…

She had moved so quick that he barely had time to catch her as she jumped into his lap and started kissing him again, her hands digging into his hair, pulling out the tie. She moved from his lips to his jaw, down to his neck.

“Kat?” He moaned the question.

“I think we’ve talked enough for now, Anders. We can talk more later, but right now I’d rather you had less clothes on.” She nipped his neck.

Anders smiled wide, he’d forgotten how forward she could be. He rose, carrying her back to his room, more grateful than ever to Varric for the bed. He placed her on the bed, his body covering hers as their lips met again. He was fully aroused, need filling his whole being, and he was grateful that, for some reason, Justice was not objecting. She all but tore at his robes and Anders realized he’d need to intervene if he had any chance to save them from becoming a pile of scraps.

He stood up and she looked at him with worry. “Just looking to save my robes, love.” He smirked at her, kicking off his boots as he pulled the robes over his head. When he could see again, his smirked, she had pulled off her leggings and he caught sight of her shirt being tossed to the side. Anders stood there in just his smalls looking down at his woman, beautiful and naked before him. He wanted to take in the sight, but she seemed determined to not wait as she wrapped her hands around his waist and began licking and nibbling at his hips as he stood there..

“Ohhhhh...Kat. Maker.” He moaned at the feel of her. She mouthed at his cock, hard and heavy in his smalls and he had to pull her back, afraid she’d put an end to him right then, and he wanted to take his time with her. “Lie down, Sweetheart.”

She quickly shimmied up to lie her head upon his pillows. Anders liked how she looked there, he wanted her in his bed always. He wanted to fall asleep every night wrapped in her arms. He removed his smalls and chuckled as she let out an appreciative sigh when he did so. Slowly he crawled from the foot of the bed towards her. Stopping to kiss and lick and nibble parts of her as he moved up her body, his hands sliding along her skin. He could taste the salt from where his lips met her body, feel her muscles quiver wherever he touched her. His lips met hers and she opened her mouth to allow his tongue inside, her nails digging into his upper arms as he lowered himself onto her, his cock resting on her abdomen. She wrapped her legs around his, making her desire clear.

He kissed along her jaw, down to her neck, to her shoulders, the taste of her skin making him feel light headed. His tongue traced patterns on her, leaving goosebumps in it’s wake. As she continued to pant and squirm beneath him, Anders was filled with a need to never let her go, to make her his forever, to hold in his arms and keep safe. His to touch and taste and feel. His mouth worked its way to her chest. He smirked, hearing her moan his name, his cock twitching in reply. He’d never wanted anything more in his life then he wanted the woman beneath him right now. They may have been apart for so long, but their bodies seemed to remember each other, recalled the feel of the other. He kissed along her breast, his tongue circling her hard nipple. She arched her back and moaned loudly pressing herself into him. Her wetness rubbing along him, as if to make it clearer what she wanted. Anders closed his lips around her peak and teased it further with his tongue. 

Kat moaned loudly as his attentions filled her abdomen with butterflies. No one else had touched her like this since the last time she had been with him and she was quickly becoming unraveled beneath him. She felt over sensitive, the feel of him pressed along her, her abdomen pulled and fluttered, desperate to be filled with him. The feel of his arousal pressed hard and twitching on top of her furthered her desire. “Please, Anders please. I...I want...” She nearly sobbed.

He let her breast fall from his lips with a plop as he resumed his journey down her body. She writhed under him, every touch was too much and not enough at the same time. His hands wrapped around her thighs and a second later she felt his tongue tickle at her slit. Kat’s hands gripped the sheets as she tried to pull away, but he held her firm. Delicious torment with his tongue and lips on her and she felt herself fall apart. It was so intense, she cried out his name, clawing for him, needing him so much.

Anders seemed to understand her needs, working his way back up her until his lips met hers again. “Please, please I need you.” She begged, her legs wrapping around his waist. Anders lined himself up with her and a moment later she felt the incredible sensation of him filling her.

She was so warm, so wet, he nearly came undone the minute he’d pushed into her. He had to stop himself from moving, to step away from the edge so they’d have more time. He looked to the woman beneath him, his hands on either side of her face. Anders brushed back the hair that stuck to her. She was watching him, her eyes full of desire, of need. Anders touched her lips with his again, the kiss slow, sweet.

He began to move, feeling her quake beneath him. She gripped to his back, moaning into his mouth as neither wanted to break the kiss. He slowly moved, hoping to prolong their coupling, but it was too much, too long without her.

He rested his forehead on hers, their eyes locked as she fell apart, clawing and pulling at him. The sight of her, the feel of her throbbing around him sent him tumbling after. His moaned loudly as he filled her, feeling sensations of ecstasy run through him. He collapsed beside her, and she seemed to need to be as close to him as he also needed her to be, she wrapped herself around him. His arm wrapped around her back, pulling her closer as Kat tilted her head up enough to kiss him.

“I love you.” He told her, feeling the peace of being able to say that. The freedom, never being able to say those words before without fear of the Templars taking action.

Her hand brushed his cheek as he watched her face. “I love you, Anders. So very much.”

His heart filled to overflowing, never having heard those words said to him before. He knew Karl loved him, but those were three words they never dared speak aloud. To hear them, to know they were just for him, he held them close to his heart, cherished them.


	10. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't work out how Anders had hoped.  
> Anders asks Hawke for help, and Kat's team returns to Antiva.

**** Anders leaned on his elbow looking down at Kat lying in his bed. He brushed his hand along her cheek as she smiled up at him.

“I have missed you.” He said softly.

Her smile grew. “I missed you too. I was so scared the Templars found you.”

“They did.” He kissed her nose, unable to resist how adorably cute he found her.

“But you are here?”

Anders nodded. “Pure luck that they happened to stop at a Warden Compound while it was being overrun with Darkspawn. The Warden Commander saved me by conscripting me into the Wardens. Then Karl wrote, and here I am.”

“I’m glad you are. And I’m so happy to see you’re alive. You aren’t alone, are you? You have friends?” She asked.

“I do. The Hawkes have become like family. And there’s Varric, and several others that you’ll meet when I finally decide to let you out of my bed.” He played with her hair, unable to stop touching her. Her face fell and he worried he’d said something wrong. “Love?”

“Anders...I…” She let out a sigh and looked back at him. “I can’t stay. The Knight Commander, she was the one that took my mother, and now that I’ve killed more of her Templars. She told me before she would kill me on sight, it’s not safe for me here.”

“Then I’ll come with you, I can’t let you go again. I need you.” He searched her eyes. No, she was  _ his. _

“I found the one that killed my father, Karras. He had a young girl, what he was threatening her with, what he was going to do once she was tranquil…Anders, are there others like him?” Kat asked.

“It’s dangerous for mages. Meredith...she is making mages tranquil that I  _ know _ passed their harrowing. I’ve seen proof of the abuses the Templars are inflicting. Rapes and beatings.” Anders nodded.

“Justice said you’re trying to help them?” She sighed.

“We are. I’ve been helping the underground. They help mages escape the circle.” Anders confirmed.

“Then they need you and Justice. I can’t ask you to put me above them.” She touched his face.

**_She cares about our cause. She supports what we must do._ **

_ But it means I can’t have her. _

**_She understands that sacrifices must be made to find justice for the oppressed._ **

“This isn’t fair.” Anders rested his head on her shoulder, his voice shaky. “I want you, a life with you, a home with you.”

“I want that too, more than anything. But I can’t ask for that at the expense of other lives.” She kissed his tear stained cheeks. Her lips found his and the kisses started soft, hesitant at first, slowly becoming more insistent.

“Let’s not spend our last few hours together wishing for what we can’t have. Instead I’d rather spend it in your arms for as long as I can. Christophe will be here soon enough as it is, let’s just enjoy what time we do have together. I love you Anders, that will never change.” She pushed on his shoulder, encouraging him to lie back as she sat up, straddling his waist. 

His hands found her hips, as she bent down to kiss him. He felt her fingers wrap around him and begin to move along his length, quickly making him hard. Anders moaned at the sensations she was causing in him.

“I love you.” She whispered as she slid him into her heat. Kat leaned back, and began to ride him. Anders held her hips, helping her to move along him as all the thoughts in his head fell away, overtaken by the desire for her, the feeling of her taking him over and over.

***

Anders held out a piece of bread with cheese and dried meat, the smile on his face full of awe as he placed the offering in Kat’s mouth. She smiled back at Anders warmly as she chewed. They were sitting on his bed, him in loose sleep pants, her in his shirt and nothing else, coming only as far down as her upper thighs, and for just a little while longer he could pretend this was how it would always be instead of just another few hours. The way she blushed each time she caught him looking at her a little too long, the shy smiles she’d throw his way. It made him feel powerful, that he could make her feel that way. And the best of it all, she loved him. He wasn’t alone in his feelings, it was no longer a secret kept tucked away in his heart. She carried him with her, she accepted his love and treasured it, and he...he was worth her love, worth being loved.

A knock at the door tore them from their private oasis. Anders put a hand on her cheek and ran his thumb along her cheek. “I’ll just make sure it’s not someone about to die and then I’ll be back, love.”  He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and went to the door.

He was about to answer when he stopped and looked down, realizing he was wearing nearly nothing. He decided it would be prudent to figure out who was on the other side rather than give the Templars a free show. “Who is it?”

“Anders.”

“Hawke?”

“Anders, what’s with the closed door? Open up.” Hawke chuckled.

“Hawke, unless you or someone is bleeding, I’m busy.” Anders felt arms wrap around him and lips touch his shoulder blades.

Kat didn’t want to keep him from his friends, but she only had him a few more hours, they got him all the time, so she didn’t feel bad for feeling selfish. Her hand slid along his abdomen, nails gently scraping along his muscles and into his pants. Yup, definitely not going to feel bad about it when there was a delectable mage here. Anders put his hands along the wall as shivers ran down his spine. She nipped at his shoulder with gentle bites. Her hand slipped into his sleep pants and wrapped around his slowly hardening cock and he let out a shuddering moan.

“Anders, you ok?” Hawke’s voice sounded concerned from the other side of the door.

“I…” Anders let out a fast breath trying to steady his voice. “I’m fine.” He shuddered. “Maker, Kat.” He whispered.

“Anders?” Hawke’s voice sounded as if he didn’t believe him.

“Hawke, I’m fine. Later. We can talk later.” Anders smirked at the woman who slid around to the front of him. “You are a wicked, wicked temptress.” He whispered to her as he bent down and nipped at her neck.

Kat giggled in reply as Anders picked her up, turning and carrying her back into his bedroom while she wrapped her legs around him, kissing his neck and jaw as he walked.

*** 

Anders touched her face gently. His woman. When she looked at him, he felt whole, not like the monster he thought himself to be. Not an abomination, not someone with wild mood swings laughing one moment, in deep depression the next, not someone who felt utterly alone, even when surrounded by friends. No, when she looked at him he felt as if he was the most precious thing in the entire world, which made no sense, since that was clearly her. How was he supposed to say goodbye to this? Goodbye to her touch, her smell, her taste, the feel of her in his arms? Her friends stood silently by the door waiting while the two of them just stared at each other, committing the other to memory.

Kat ran her hand through his hair. “I love you. Always. You are in my heart, that will never change. Please know that. Please know you are worthy, you are treasured.”

Anders felt a lump in his throat. All this time and he still had no clue how it was she could just see right into his heart every single time, know just what he was thinking. She had done the same all those years ago in their hidden camp, and she was doing it again now. Pulling his dark secrets out into the light and showing him that she would keep them safe, keep him safe. Only this time she couldn’t. This time she had to turn and walk out the door with those people and it was a certainty that he would never see her again. He held no illusions that his fight for mage freedom wouldn’t end with his death. He just hoped the memory of the past day would keep him warm all the cold, lonely nights to come.

“You are the one person I would leave this all for, and the one that I would fight this fight the hardest for.” He touched his forehead to hers. “I love you. I love you, Kat. Until my dying breath I love you.”

“You give the Chantry hell. Make them hear you, make sure they can’t help but hear you. Justice, rain the Maker’s wraith down on them.” She kissed him, her hands holding him close, he could feel the tears run down her face but still she didn’t let the kiss go. “I love you.” She whispered as she stepped away from him, her eyes never leaving his until she was out the door.

Anders leaned against the closed door, listening. Fantasizing that she flung it back open, announced that she couldn’t leave him, that she’d changed her mind. That she would stay. He listened until he couldn’t hear anything more and then slumped onto the floor, pulling his knees close to him as the lump in his throat finally broke and a mournful wail left him. His gut hurt, his heart died, no longer needed. She was gone and somehow he was supposed to keep on going, keep on doing  _ anything _ . Why? Why couldn’t he just have her? He was willing to give up anything, anything at all, Maker please,  _ just her _ . 

He wanted to rip the Templars and the Chantry asunder, why couldn’t they just let him have something for himself? Why did Kat have to be one more thing the Templars ripped away from him? Anders let out a powerful blast of magic and the cots in the clinic splintered along the far wall.

Anders collapsed on himself, silent sobs pulled from his throat as his body shook. He didn’t care. Not anymore. He wanted nothing more than to die at that moment. He wondered if he went to the elf’s home, if Fenris would pull his heart out for him. It would hurt less than this did right now.

Justice, at least, was being mercifully silent.

*** 

Varric dealt out the cards for their weekly game of Wicked Grace. Merrill sat next to Bethany who was trying, once again, to explain the game to the elf. Beside her sat Aveline, giving the cards a death stare. Next to her, her soon-to-be-husband, Donnic, who was talking with Fenris across from him. Next to Fenris sat Hawke, and beside him, Isabela, in her usual seat - Carver’s lap.

Varric looked around. “Anyone seen Blondie lately?”

They all shook their heads.

“You do realize if we don’t check on him he tends to forget things? Like eating.” Varric raised an eyebrow.

Hawke shook his head. “I went down there ten days ago, nearly walked in on him  _ entertaining. _ ” Hawke made air quotes with his fingers.

“You sure he wasn’t talking to his demon?” Fenris snarled.

“Not unless Justice sounds like a giggling woman.” Hawke chuckled as he picked up his cards.

“So...no one’s been to see Anders then?” Merrill bit her lip with worry. Everyone shook their heads again.

“Oooo, I’ll go, maybe he’s still up for  _ entertaining _ !” Isabela offered, Carver growled low. “What? I’d invite you too.”

“I’ll go,” Fenris stood, throwing in his cards. “Save him from being either molested by the pirate or killed by Carver. I have a shit hand anyway.”

“Don’t kill him.” Hawke raised an eyebrow.

“As long as his demon has not taken over, I promise.” Fenris bowed his head.

Hawke watched him leave, a frown on his face as his eyes once again fell to the ribbon on the elf’s wrist. When he looked back, he saw his sister giving him a sympathetic look. He really hated how observant she could be sometimes.

Fenris worked his way through Darktown. Most of the residents have gotten used to the elf, recognized him as a companion of Hawke’s and stay out of his way. The lights outside the clinic were out.

“Please, Serrah.” Fenris turns to see a young man, maybe fifteen. 

Fenris lifted an eyebrow but said nothing, his gaze remaining steely.

“No one has seen the healer in almost two weeks. Please, where is he?” 

“The clinic has been closed all this time?” Fenris realized this was most definitely  _ not _ like the mage.

The boy nodded and scurried off. Fenris approached the clinic and found the door unlocked. The sight before him had him grabbing for his blade. Cots were thrown and broken along one wall. His potion table was upended, bottles broken all around. Papers strewn about. There was little doubt this was the aftermath of a Templar raid. If the Templars had taken him…

Fenris’ grip tightened on his sword as he heard a noise from the back room of the clinic. He moved quietly, prepared for battle if the Templars were still here. He pulled back the curtain dividing the room and let the tension leave his body. He resheathed his sword, watching the mage lying on the floor playing with a bottle there, not even seeming to notice the warrior.

“Abomination. Are you ill?” Fenris growled. Why didn’t the mage just heal himself?

Anders didn’t even react to the fact that Fenris was there, much less that he was talking to him.

“Abom...Anders?” Fenris knelt down, he took Anders by the shoulder and helped him sit upright. He held back a gasp, realizing the mage was even thinner than usual.

Fenris heard Hawke curse, and realized that he must have decided to check on the mage as well after all. “Hawke.”  He called him to the room.

Anders finally seemed to realize someone else was in the room with him as he blinked a few times and looked at Fenris. “Oh, Fenris.” His eyes moved up behind the elf, “Garrett.”

“Holy Maker. Anders! What happened? Did the Templars do this? Are you injured?” Hawke quickly knelt beside his friend as Fenris backed away to make room.

Anders’ eyes fell to his lap and he seemed to slip away again.

“Anders?” Hawke’s voice filled with panic.

The mage began to glow blue.

**“He desires to be alone.”**

“Justice,” Hawke heard Fenris snarl behind him but chose to ignore it. “What happened? Anders doesn’t look like he’s eaten in days, he needs to eat.”

**“Anders does not care about such things anymore. He said his heart is gone and he shifts between yelling and crying. It is very confusing. She is gone and he wishes to be alone but then he wants her here so that he is not alone. This makes no sense.”**

“Justice, you need to let Anders come out and play. I’ll make sure he’s ok.” Hawke spoke calmly, feeling the agitation roll off Fenris. He waited until the glowing stopped before turning back to Fenris. “Fen, I’m going to need your help to get Anders back up to my place. We’ll get some of Orana’s cooking into him, help him feel better.”

Fenris felt torn, on the one hand, he didn’t want Anders staying at Hawke’s estate. What if the two of them rekindled their romance? On the other, he wanted to make Hawke happy. His desire to make Hawke happy won out and he bent over, scooping up the too skinny mage and followed Hawke back to his estate.

***

Anders sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking around the room for Kat. His mind woke up enough to cruelly remind him that she was gone for good. He didn’t recognize the room, but based on the Ferelden style decoration, he guessed it was the Amell estate. Anders swung his feet over the edge of the bed, standing on shaky legs. He opened the door to the bedroom, the hallway confirmed for him that he was in the Amell estate. Hearing voices in the library he made his way down there, recognizing them as Hawke and Fenris speaking as he got closer.

They both stopped and turned when Anders entered the room, Hawke immediately rushing to his side and ushering him to the couch.

“Orana!” Hawke called out as he settled Anders on the couch. “You’re weak, it’s a blessing you didn’t fall down the stairs.”

“I’m not a child, Hawke.” Anders small smile showed he wasn’t really annoyed.

“Messere.” Orana entered the room. “Oh, you’re awake.” She looked at Anders with surprise.

“Orana, food please, lots of it for Anders. He’ll take it in here, thank you.” Hawke requested and the elf nodded and left.

“Hawke, I don’t…” Anders started to protest.

“Anders, you’ve lost weight. And you were too thin to begin with.” Hawke scolded. “You’ll eat or I’ll have Fenris force feed you.”

Fenris looked even more horrified at the idea than Anders, causing Hawke to chuckle. Orana entered carrying a large tray which Hawke rushed over to take from her and carry the rest of the way to the table.

“Messere. Knight-Captain Cullen is here, he is requesting to speak with you.”  Orana explained in her typical soft voice. Bethany had been trying to get the elf to be more confident, speak up, but she always seemed to fall back to meekness around Hawke no matter how many times they all tried.

“Thank you, Orana.” Hawke gave her a warm grin. He then pointed at Anders. “Eat. I’m serious.”

“Yes, Dad.” Anders saluted and dug in. He didn’t think he was hungry, but the minute the smell from the roast and potatoes Orana made hit his nose his stomach grumbled loudly. He ate quietly wanting to hear what Cullen was saying to Hawke and Fenris is the foyer.

“Champion, thank you for seeing me.” He could hear Cullen say. Anders rolled his eyes at how proper Cullen always was. He was the same at the Circle, so much so that he’d run away whenever Anders’ friend Solona would flirt with him.

“Certainly, Knight-Captain. What can we do for you?” He heard Hawke using the same disinterested tone he often used with nobles.

“Champi…”

“Hawke, please. I hate that title.” Hawke sighed, and Anders chuckled quietly as he ate, practically hearing the man’s eyes roll from the other room.

“Hawke. We need your help with a delicate matter.” Cullen started to explain.

“Lost more mages, did you?” Hawke guessed.

“What? No!” Cullen had the nerve to sound insulted. This time it was Anders who rolled his eyes. “Ser Karras went to retrieve an escaped mage over two weeks ago and never returned. Around the same time, two new recruits were murdered in Lowtown. We found Ser Karras’ body this morning. Someone is killing Templars and we need your help to put a stop to it.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m too upset, given what your Knight-Commander has been doing lately.” Hawke replied and Anders silently cheered.

“Hawke, if there is a murderer…” Fenris interrupted and Anders rolled his eyes again.  _ Of course _ he’d side with the Templars.

“Fair enough.” Hawke cut him off. “We’ll look into it Cullen. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a personal matter to attend to.”

“Thank you Cha...Hawke.” the sound of armor clanging away told Anders the man was leaving.

Hawke and Fenris reentered the library. “I’m guessing you heard all that.” Hawke smirked at Anders.

“Don’t do it, Hawke. Take the job so no one else will but don’t lead a search.” Anders tried to stand, but his legs were still proving to be weak.

“Was it you?” Hawke raised an eyebrow.

“No. I’m just asking as a friend, please don’t dig around.” Anders looked between the two warriors nervously.

“But you know who it is then?” Hawke tilted his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

Anders nodded. “If the Templars came for Bethany, what would you do to protect her?” 

“They’d be dead before they could touch her. Is that what happened?” Hawke sat in his chair, ignoring the fact that Fenris didn’t seem as forgiving. He knew Fenris had his own reasons for not being able to see things from the mages’ perspective, and even though the elf’s perceptions were changing and growing, he wasn’t fully there yet.

“They came for her mother. Karras killed her father when he tried to stop them. The other two tried to take her best friend in as they were leaving Kirkwall.” Anders looked at his hands. “Please, I’m asking as a friend.”

“This is your  _ friend  _ from two weeks ago?” Hawke smirked when Anders looked shocked. “Oh please, you weren’t as quiet or discreet as you thought you were when I was at the door. Very well, as long as you can promise me there won’t be other attacks from her.”

Anders shook his head, still watching his hands in his lap. “There won’t. She’s gone and won’t be returning.”

“She must mean something to you for you to want to protect her even though she’s gone. Who is she?” Fenris asked.

“Everything.” Anders sighed, still not looking up.

“The girl from your drawings.” Hawke exclaimed. Anders nodded but didn’t answer. “So then why did she leave?”

“What do you want to hear Hawke? That once again I lost her, this time for good, because, like everything else, the Templars can’t just let me have one damn thing? I couldn’t go and leave the mages here to be abused and she couldn’t stay without having Meridith track her down and kill her.” Anders looked up and Hawke saw the hurt in his eyes.

Fenris watched the mage, feeling sympathy for the man for one of the first times. He looked at his wrist where the red ribbon wrapped around, a declaration of who had his heart, no matter what was to come. But he knew when the sun set each night that he’d see Hawke the next day. What would it feel like if that wasn’t the case? What would it feel like if he were to never see Hawke again? Just the thought hurt, and he suddenly understood by Anders had apparently stopped caring about himself or anything else.  He needed to figure out some way to get Danarius off his trail for good so that he could try with Hawke.

“Anders, I’m sorry.” Hawke reached out and touched the mage’s hand.

Anders let out a sigh and resumed eating. Now that he had started filling it, his stomach made it clear it needed more. He said nothing more, he really didn’t have more to say.

**_We will make it so they HAVE to hear us, so that no other mages suffer as you have._ **

_ Can’t say I disagree with that. _

***

Kat looked out at the lake, the way the full moon looked large in the reflection. It had been nearly two months since they’d left Kirkwall, since then she’d found she needed more time alone then she had before. The first two weeks she spent every night crying quietly in her tent. Most nights during that time Christophe would join her and hold her all night, making her feel guilty that she was keeping him from Tomas. She now slept on her own, but not without the hurt still there in her chest from a broken heart. She tried to remind herself that she should be grateful for her time in Kirkwall. That she had thought she’d never see him again and instead she had nearly a whole day with just him and no other distractions.

Tambor found them work, and it helped to have something to focus on. But the hunt that morning had gone so wrong. It was only through sheer luck none of them had come out of it with anything more than some scratches and other minor injuries. She’d nearly passed out just as she was supposed to strike the beast. Thankfully Tomas had noticed and took the killing swing. 

She heard a rustling behind her and turned to see Christophe approach.

“Did you talk to them?” She looked back out to the lake.

“I did.” Christophe’s voice was soft. She felt him pull her back towards where he leaned on a tree. She rested her back against his chest, her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her, making a safe cocoon for her.

“Are they mad?”

“Of course not. We’ve made them very wealthy over the years. It’s time to retire anyway while we all are still alive. Tambor’s thinking of retiring to Denerim. Seems King Alistair has gone a long way to seeing that elves have more equality there. Peri said something about helping the rightful Prince of Starkhaven reclaim his throne.” Christophe explained.

“And where will you go?” She tilted her head to look at him beside her.

“Wherever you go of course. Where are we going by the way? Tomas needs to know what to pack.” Christophe smirked as she playfully elbowed him.

“I was thinking Antiva would be nice. I liked it there, and there’s few Templars. Plus it’s pretty far from Kirkwall, harder for the Knight-Commander to find me.”  She looked up into the night sky.

“See there, he’s thinking of you too.” Christophe pointing at a shooting star flying across the sky.

Kat leaned into her friend more, needing the feeling of safety from him more than ever. 

*** 

“There’s my favorite healer!” Hawke grinned wide as he entered the clinic.

“Since Bethany moved away, I’m your only healer, Hawke.” Anders shook his head, his voice a teasing tone. “What do you want?”

“Maybe I just wanted to stop in and say hi,” Hawke suggested not sounding convincing at all.

“If that were the case you wouldn’t be buttering me up. I’ve know you too many years to try that.” Anders chuckled. 

“Fine.” Hawke relented. “I got this, thought you could help.”

Anders read the letter Hawke handed him. It was from Meredith, which immediately caused Justice to become restless.

**_We should see her burn. She abuses her power over those she was sworn to protect._ **

_ Trust me, I know. _

“Hawke, I’m not looking to help bring mages  _ back to _ the Circle, or have you really not been paying attention all these years?” Anders raised an eyebrow.

“Give me more credit than that. I figured we find them, and if they’re not blood mages, then maybe you could help them get out of Kirkwall.” Hawke gave him that grin that made it impossible to say no to. Anders wondered if the warrior knew the power in that smile, or if it was just dumb luck. Based on what he knew about Garrett, it was dumb luck.

“Alright.” Anders said grabbing his staff. “You know I’m always up to making Meredith miserable.”

“I knew I could count on you.” Hawke beamed. “Honestly, I’m glad Bethany moved to Nevarra with her husband. I don’t like how unsafe it’s becoming for mages here.”

“It’s always been unsafe, Hawke. It just that you’re only now noticing.” Anders voice suddenly became serious as he walked past Hawke and out the clinic door.

The first mage had been a disaster. There was little question that he was beyond saving when the crazy bastard killed his own wife. Not even Justice had argued against killing him. Anders was grateful that Fenris hadn’t been with them, as Huon showed the worst side of the mages. Still, a part of Anders understood the desperation that the Circle caused to result in that.

His hopes were further dashed when Evelina turned into an abomination. That one, unfortunately, Fenris  _ had _ been there for.

“Once again, a mage turns to blood magic. Your kind always looks for the easy way out.” Fenris growled at Anders’ back.

Anders swung around and stalked to Fenris. “Easy? Were you NOT paying attention? She was caring for orphans, for children everyone else in this town of ‘oh so pious people’ ignore. And what does she get? Harassed, threatened by the Templars. If they took her away who would make sure those children were cared for?”

“And who will care for them now that she accepted a demon into herself? I do not agree with what the Templars are doing in Kirkwall, but Blood Magic is never the answer.” Fenris snarled back.

Anders let out a defeated sigh. “You and I agree there. Come on, maybe at least the last one can be saved.”

They entered the Hanged Man and looked around the room. The parents of this mage were local nobles. After some persuasion, the man’s mother admitted that he was most likely here.

“He gets some coin and instead of running as far away from here as he can get, he chooses to get drunk. I’m guessing we’re not dealing with the top of his class here.” Anders surmised as he searched the room.

“20 sovereigns says that’s him.” Hawke indicated the balding man sitting at a table, tossing back his drink. “He couldn’t look more obvious if he was casting spells.”

They approached the man. “Emile de Launcet?” Hawke said.

“Nella tell you? I gave her my family signet ring for a kiss. She’s going to make me a man.” Emile sighed.

Anders pinched his nose and closed his eyes. He found it hard to judge the man given that brothels were pretty much what he sought out right away every time he had escaped.

“I’m Hawke, I’ve been sent to look for you.” 

Emile jumped up quickly, and then stumbled, clearly still drunk. “I know what this is about. I’m not a Blood Mage, I just said that to impress the ladies.”

“To imp…” Anders stumbled. “You are a special kind of stupid. Nothing would bring the Templars down on you quicker.”

“Please don’t send me back, not before I have my time with Nessa.” Emile begged.

Hawke waved him on and Emile headed up the steps with the serving woman before the warrior could change his mind.

“You sure you’re going to be able to help him? He doesn’t really scream ‘I can function as an adult.’” Hawke looked up in the direction Emile had left.

“He’s spent his whole life in the Circle, Hawke. The Chantry doesn’t exactly go out of it’s way to teach mages how to do anything but be dependant on them.” Anders voice full of annoyance. “If it wasn’t for Kat and the Wardens I wouldn’t be much different than him, I’m sure. Yeah, my contacts can help him.” 

Hawke watched as Anders found somewhere to sit and wait for Emile to return. Hawke let out a sigh, his hand flexing. He forgot sometimes how lucky his father and Bethany had been to live outside the Circle. He didn’t fully understand everything that went on in them, but every once in awhile he’d get a glimpse through Anders’ eyes of just how bad it must be.

*** 

Christophe and Kat sat beside each other at a table looking across the tavern where Tomas was talking with the owner about getting them rooms.

“Your boyfriend has a nice ass.” Kat chuckled.

“He does, stop looking at it.” Christophe covered her eyes.

Kat playfully batted away his hand.  “So, you two gonna get married already or what?”

“I…” Christophe floundered.

“He needs to make an honest man out of my Vint.” She teased as he blushed.

Tomas joined them at their table, wrapping his arm around Christophe.“Do I want to know?” He asked with an amused grin noticing the blush on the mage’s cheeks.

“Probably not.” Kat chuckled. “We all set?”

“Yes, we have two rooms and they’re going to bring over some food.” Tomas nodded. “We’ll go look for homes tomorrow.”

They all looked up at the sound of chairs scraping across the floor. All the patrons of the bar seemed to be scrambling to leave, even the owner had disappeared. The only person not in a seeming panic was a rogue standing near the doorway, looking at noone in particular.

“That’s certainly not worrisome.” Christophe commented, giving Kat’s hand a squeeze as a fireball grew in his other hand. Beside him, Tomas was pulling out his sword.

“You stay behind us.” Tomas told her. Kat opened her mouth to object. “No.” Tomas’ stern voice, showing that he’d broker no argument.

The rogue remained at his spot by the door, as it swung open. A figure entered, his or her face blocked by a black cloak. Another rogue followed behind, taking position on the opposite side of the door from the first. The figure in the cloak appeared to be looking around the room for someone. The empty room. Where there was no one but the three of them so why did they need to look around? Kat’s hands itched by her blades.

The cloaked person lifted their hands, pulling down the cloak, revealing Zevran grinning wide. “My friends!! I had been told you were back, this is wonderful news.”

Christophe put out the flame as Tomas lowered his blade.

“Zev!” Kat called out cheerfully from behind the wall that was Tomas, trying to move around him. “What’s with all the terror and scary guards?” She rushed to his open arms laughing as they hugged.

“Ah, you are looking at the new Guildmaster of House Arainai” he kissed her cheeks and then wrapped an arm around her shoulder, walking with her back to the table the others sat at. He snapped his finger and a moment later the servers from the tavern appeared with food for their table.

“Handy trick.” Kat chuckled. “Well apparently you’ve been busy while we were gone.” 

“Si, mi amiga. I got bored without you all here.” He winked at her, his arm still around her. “So, my friends, how long will you be staying?”

“We plan to stay for good.” Christophe explained. “First order is finding a home.”

“Ah, well in this case I have a place. It belongs to me but I have no use for it now as I have my place with the Crows.” Zevran explained as they ate.

“Oh, we couldn’t…” Kat started to say.

“Please, it is unused. You have need of a place. This is of no issue for me.” Zev explained, handing half his bread to Kat.

She looked at Christophe, who looked at Tomas, then back to her and shrugged. “You have a deal. Thank you Zev.”

“Good, good. Let’s eat while you tell me what adventures I missed.” Zevran raised a glass to his friends.

Later that night, Kat sat in her room staring at the fire. She sat curled in an oversized chair, her knees pulled to her body, arms wrapped around them. She wondered what Anders was doing right now. She heard her visitor a second before he was beside her.

“I thought perhaps you would like to visit the rooftops, for old times sake.” Zevran smirked. “Perhaps find a thief or two to battle.”

Kat gave him a half smile. “Sit down, Zev.” She indicated the other chair beside her. “There’s so much to catch you up on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry :(


	11. No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things escalate in Kirkwall to the point that there's no more turning back

**** Anders bandaged the arm of the boy in front of him, easily no older than twelve. A boy that age had no business working in a mine, much less getting injured. It irked both Anders and Justice that things were such that the poor had no choice  _ but _ to send a young boy like this to work. His assistant, Celine, brought over a cloth for him to clean the remaining blood from the boy’s arm. After Bethany had moved away, Lirene had found Celine to help him. She had proved to be a good helper, and quite adept at healing, something she eagerly soaked up as Anders taught her. Like the Hawkes, Celine had been able to keep from Templar detection her whole life, but refused to leave Kirkwall for some reason she would not explain, no matter how much Anders tried to convince her too, and he tried many many times.

“One of your friends is here, Anders.” She said to him as she handed the rag to him.

Anders looked over to see Fenris leaning against the wall.

**_The singing elf is here. I like him._ **

_ I’ve noticed. It’s very disturbing, how about we stop that so we don’t get killed, ok? _

“You good to finish this up?” He asked Celine who nodded.

“Fenris,” Anders acknowledged him. “Are you in need of healing?”

The elf shook his head. “Hawke asked me to remind you tonight is Wicked Grace. As you’ve missed the last two weeks he assumes you may have forgotten.”

“I have not forgotten, I have been….busy.” Anders walked past Fenris and began crushing herbs for potions.

“With your underground no doubt?” He held up his hand. “I just am concerned of you getting injured or worse. ”

Anders pinched his nose, feeling a headache coming on. “I made too many sacrifices to help free the mages, I’m not going to back out now because I  _ might _ be killed.”

“Hawke would be distraught if something were to happen to you.”

Anders smirked, “You really should just tell him how you feel.”

“I have no idea what you are referring to, mage.” Fenris pushed off from the wall.

“Really,  _ elf _ ? Because you’re down here asking me to come play cards and you haven’t picked a fight with me about mages in months.” Anders said, picking at the red fabric around Fenris’ arm while raising an eyebrow.

Fenris coughed, trying to cover a blush. “I would expect you to understand why I cannot.”

“Me? Why?” He and Fenris were not what you could call friends. Hawke and Varric, they were friends. He and Fenris...they were more like...people that tried not to talk to each other when possible.

Fenris’ expression showed that he expected Anders to already know. “You let that woman leave without you three years ago. This was to keep her safe, correct?”

“Partially. She knows what I’m doing here is important, but yes, it was to keep her safe from Meredith.” Anders nodded.

“Danarius is still out there somewhere.” Fenris waved his hand around. “If he were to find out what Hawke means...he would harm him to get to me. Or I may need to leave to keep you all safe.”

“All the more reason to make a move now. Trust me, you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. It’s better to look back and have memories then regrets.” Anders went back to crushing the herbs. “And if that bastard former master of yours ever shows up here, I hope you know you won’t be alone in facing him. You do have friends here, Fenris.”

Fenris shrugged seeming unconvinced. “You will…”

“Tell Hawke I will be there.” Anders nodded.

Fenris left and Anders turned to find Celine waiting. “I have somewhere I need to be, is it ok for me to leave?”

“Yes, of course.” Anders nodded.

***

“You made it, take a seat, Blondie.” Varric grinned large as Anders entered his room.

“Hawke sent his elf to ensure I did.” Anders smirked at Fernis to show he didn’t mean any harm with his comment. Varric signaled to Norah to bring stew for Anders. Anders had learned long ago not to argue the point with Varric and just be grateful for the food.

“Hey, great, you’re here.” Hawke beamed as he walked in the room and took a seat beside Fenris. 

“You sent Fenris, of course I am.” Anders chuckled.

“Happy to see you just the same.” Hawke winked.

“He lives.” Aveline and Donnic entered the room.

“It is apparently the news of the day.” Anders hadn’t realized how much he’d missed these nights until he was sitting at the table.

Carver ran into the room with Isabela hot on his heels, both largely out of breath. “An...An...Anders.” He struggled to catch his breath.

“Yes, I’m here. The parade should be any moment.” Anders chuckled.

Isabela waved her hands as if to disagree, still unable to catch her breath.

“No.” Carver stood up straight. “The Templars. They…” he took another breath. “They have Merrill”

Chairs scraped loudly against the floor as everyone quickly stood.

“What?”

“How?”

**“WE WILL TEAR DOWN THE GALLOWS! THEY WILL BURN!!”**

“Oh good, Justice is here. That always helps keep things calm.” Carver winced.

“ **THEY WILL NOT TOUCH ANOTH…”**

“Hey, Justice, how about we let Anders take this one instead, ok?” Hawke stepped in front of the spirit. Justice nodded and a moment later Anders stopped glowing.

“Sorry, when I get angry he tends to take over. I think he still doesn’t know what to do with my emotions.” Anders looked sheepish.

“It’s alright. He just yelled a lot, all good.” Hawke patted Anders arm and then turned to his brother.  “Carver, what happened?”

“I don’t know. Bela and I went to get her for the game and the other elves there told us that two Templars broke in and took her a few hours ago.” Carver wrapped his arms around himself. They all looked out for Merrill, she was sweet, but a little too naive for her own good sometimes.

“Hawke, if they figure out she’s a blood mage…” Anders felt the panic rising, thinking of the starburst on her head.

“I know Anders.” Hawke tried to help keep the mage calm, all too aware of the worst case. “Ok, Varric, you and Carver go see if there’s any chance the Chantry will help. Carver, don’t be afraid to use the Amell name if you have to. Anders, see if your underground contacts can help get her out. Fenris, you and Bela are with me, we’ll see if being Champion gains me anything with Meredith.”

Everyone took off to do as Hawke asked, hoping at least one of them would have success.

***

Carver and Varric entered the Chantry, Carver lost in thought of what he could possibly say to the Grand Cleric. There was barely anyone inside, a few Sisters praying to the Maker, but that was it. They spotted her on the second floor talking with a resident of Kirkwall.

“Messere Hawke.” Elthina nodded when she saw him. “How can I help you?”

“Grand Cleric,” Carver tried to keep the shaking out of his voice. He took a deep breath. “I need your aide with the Templars.”

“The Templars, my child?” Her voice even.

“They have taken one of my brother’s companions to the Gallows.” Carver explained.

“Of course I can help.” Elthina nodded, a warm smile. Carver let out a sigh of relief. “They have no business taking non-mages.”

_ Crap _ . “That’s the thing…” He started to explain.

“Surely you aren’t here asking me to go against the Chant’s teachings and have them release a mage?” Elthina continued.

“You didn’t mind when Merrill was helping save yours and everyone else’s a...behind when the qunari were attacking. You and everyone else seemed more than happy to have a mage protecting you then.”  Carver growled loudly, having lost his patience.

“My son, I cannot…” She started to say in her usual calm manner.

“No. You owe this to the Champion from keeping everyone from being turned to the Qun, you owe this for every bloody sovereign of the  _ large _ donation the Amells make to your Chantry.” Carver snapped.

“I’m sorry my son. I cannot help you.” She turned and walked away.

“Not can’t. Won’t!” Carver snapped, turning and leaving, stopping where Varric had been waiting by the front. “Come on, they won’t help.”

*** 

Anders paced the empty clinic while he waited. He’d sent a coded message to his contact, hoping it reached him in time. If they couldn’t reach her... the best that could happen is she was harrowed and (hopefully) wasn’t fool enough to take the demon’s offer. The worst was they realized she was a blood mage...images of Karl on that final day, the starburst on his forehead came to the forefront of his thoughts and Justice raged inside.

**_I will not allow it. They will see our wrath_ ** **.**

_ No argument here. _

He heard the light knock from behind the shelf on the back wall. Anders practically ran to it, pulling it from the wall to find Jeran, the Templar that had helped him help dozens upon dozens of mages escape over the years. Jeran angled his head around Anders, as if looking for someone.

“Jeran. Thank you.” Anders moved to block the man’s eyes. He may be an ally, but he was still a Templar.

Jeran straightened, as if caught doing something. “Anders. I received your message that you needed to meet.”

“An elf has been taken tonight. Dalish, from the Alienage. Name’s Merrill, I need to get her out. Tonight.” Anders spoke in a low voice, to prevent anyone that might be at the clinic door from hearing.

“I’ll see what can be done. Give me a few hours.” Jeran nodded, his eyes darting back into the room again.

“You expecting someone?” Anders started growing suspicious.

“No, just...I’ve never seen the clinic before. Just looking.” Jeran replied quickly, making Anders even more suspicious.

*** 

“What do you mean she won’t see me?” Hawke glared at the Templar in front of him.

“I…Serrah...Cha...Cham...Champion…” The boy looked to be barely eighteen and shook as he spoke. “She…”

“Speak, I’m losing patience!” Hawke normally might have taken pity on the boy, but not when Merrill’s life may be at risk. He could hear Fenris growling behind him and Isabela pull out her blades.

The Templar coughed in an attempt to steady his nerves. “Champion. She…” He took a deep breath. “The Commander says she knows why you are here and wishes to remind you that harboring a mage is against the law and that it is only your status as Champion that has stopped her from arresting you. She says you should not press your luck.” The boy then took a step back, as if preparing for Hawke to attack.

Hawke stared down the Templar. “You have all made a grave error if you think this is over.”

*** 

Hawke and Isabela entered Anders’ clinic to find Carver and Varric already there. Anders stood on the other side of the room talking in low murmurs to a man and woman. Hawke guessed they were from the Underground. The conversation apparently was over, and they passed Fenris as he walked into the clinic. Anders turned towards the Hawkes and companions and walked towards them.

“Elthina wouldn’t lift a finger. She didn’t even care.” Carver spat out, anger radiating off of him.

“Of course she didn’t. Mages aren’t people, why should anyone care about us.” Anders didn’t bother keeping the rage out of his voice. “We should just be wiped from Thedas, a blight on the world.”

“Hey Blondie, before you start glowing blue and tearing things apart, remember we’re on your side.” Varric tried to calm him.

“I suppose you had no more luck?” Anders looked at the others.

“She refused to even  _ see _ me.” Hawke snorted. “How about you?”

“I’m leaving now. If all goes well meet me back here in two hours.” Anders grabbed his staff and walked out the door.

“Wait, I’m coming with you.” Hawke gave chase.

Anders stopped and turned on his heels. “No.” He boomed. He sighed and spoke softer, “I appreciate the thought, but these people, they don’t know you. They won’t trust you and right now we need to work quickly and efficiently to get her out, so I can’t risk you being a distraction. Meet back here in two hours.”

“Maker’s blessing on you then.” Hawke nodded.

“The Maker gave up on me long ago, Hawke.” Anders said softly as he walked away.

*** 

Hawke paced the clinic, Anders had been gone a long time, too long. Should he go looking for him?  _ Where _ would he go looking for him? What if Meredith had taken Anders as well? Maybe he should get Fenris and Carver and start searching fo…

The clinic door kicked open and Anders rushed passed him carrying someone in his arms. Anders placed the person on a cot. A swollen face and lashes on their back showed that whoever it was was badly injured. But where was Merrill?

“Hawke,” Anders snapped getting his attention. “On the table, bring me the green potion there and some elfroot. Lyrium too, I may need it.”

Hawke nodded and rushed over to gather the items. He needed answers. Who was this patient? Where was Merrill? He ran back over to Anders who had already started healing and nearly dropped the potions when he saw the tattoo on her cheek. It was Merrill, no, Maker, how.

“Hawke!” Anders snapped his fingers again and the warrior looked up, slack jawed. “I know, but I need you to concentrate. Pour that green potion on her back, it’ll help keep infection away while I heal the broken bones.”

Hawke nodded, unable to find his voice. Worry and anger stirring within him at the same time. Merrill. Little Merrill who jumped at shadows, who may be a blood mage but never hurt anyone. Merrill.

Slowly her face returned to normal size as Anders healing magic poured into her. He grabbed the lyrium from Hawke’s hands, after asking three times and getting no answer from him. With her bones healed, Anders concentrated on her back. Slowly those, too, sealed up, until there wasn’t even a scar left. At least no physical ones.

Anders placed a blanket over the elf and stood up. She needed rest but she should be ok.

“Anders?” Hawke finally found his voice.

“The Templars did this to her. By the time our man found her she’d been beaten for hours. He found her in the infirmary.” The anger was clear in his voice despite the low tone he spoke in. “They had no right…” 

Inside him Justice screamed, demanding blood, fires.

“Did they…” Hawke hoped Anders knew what he was asking without him having to say the words.

“No,” Anders shook his head. “I couldn’t find any evidence of her being violated. Probably only because we got her out in time.”

“What the bloody...Does Meredith think she’ll get away with this?” Hawke’s hands gripped into fists.

“Of course she does. The Chantry doesn’t care, people don’t care. We’re expendable, disposable. To be used and cast aside. Do you get it now? This,” he pointed at the sleeping elf, “is not even the worst I’ve ever seen. Not even the worst that’s been done to  _ me _ ! This is why I fight, Garrett. This is why Bethany fled. Do you get it now when I say you can’t reason with them?”

Hawke couldn’t stop staring at Merrill, sleeping peacefully on the cot. He gulped and nodded. Unable once again to find his voice.

*** 

Danarius was dead. Dead! No longer would he come looking for Fenris. It seemed unreal. After so many years, after a lifetime, or at least the lifetime he could remember, he didn’t have to look over his shoulder. So many emotions raged through him, he couldn’t hold onto any one before the next one flittered by.

“Fenris?” 

Fenris jumped and looked at the door to see Anders. “Mage.”

“Someday you may have to actually learn my name, you know.” Anders sighed and shook his head. “You ran off so quick. Are you alright? I wanted to be sure you didn’t need healing.”

“I…” Fenris nodded and took off his shirt to show a large gash on his back.

“Maker! Fenris, that could get infected. You should have told me. Come here.” Anders indicated the bench nearby.

**_He is signing. I wish to lick him._ **

_ And I wish to keep breathing, so stop it! He’s a patient. _

“Your demon better be behaving mage.” Fenris growled as he sat down.

“He is. I’m going to start healing.” Anders had learned after accidentally triggering Fenris years earlier, that it was always best to tell him before starting his healing. He watched as the broken skin started to weave back together.

“He’s really dead.” Fenris said so quiet Anders almost didn’t hear it.

“He really is.” Anders nodded. “Your free, Fenris. How does it feel?”

“It is, confusing. Unreal. I am uncertain I won’t wake up and find this has all been a dream. That I’m not still in Tevinter.” Fenris kept looking forward as Anders healed him.

“It’s not. Can I ask you something?” Anders stepped back, having completed the healing.

“Speak.” Fenris answered as he put his tunic back on.

“Will you finally tell Garrett how you really feel? No more excuses?” Anders asked.

“Why do you care?” Fenris raised an eyebrow.

“Fenris, there’s nothing holding you back from this but you. Not everyone gets that luxury.” Anders smirked.

“What if he rejects me? It’s been too many years.” Fenris shook his head.

“If you think that you haven’t been paying attention. The way Hawke watches you, it’s clear he’s not lost interest.” Anders reassured him. “I’ll tell you ‘I told you so’ at cards next week.”

*** 

Kat stood by the kitchen table folding towels. A far cry from the excitement of dragon hunting, but that seemed a lifetime ago. So much had changed since then. She loved the villa that Zevran had given them, it took a while, but it was home now. She smiled as she looked in the living room where Christophe and Tomas were playing chess. They were family, them being here had made all the difference in the world. Christophe took Tomas’ rook and kissed the warrior’s nose as a way to make it up to him. Kat chuckled as she went back to her folding.  _ It was hard to believe those two had been married a year already, they were still so darn cute _ , she thought to herself.

She felt arms wrap around her waist and a chin rest on her shoulder.  Soft lips found her cheek“You are free, Bella? I wish to show you something.”

Kat turned in Zevran’s arms and smiled softly. “Let me just let them know I’m heading out.” 

Zevran watched her hips as she walked into the other room. Despite their affection with each other, she and Zevran both understood someone else held the other’s heart. They just provided each other with someone’s hand to hold, a friend to warm up the lonely nights. While he would have preferred his Warden, he treasured his friend just the same. 

She returned and took his hand. “I’m all yours.” 

Zevran lifted hers to his lips and kissed the back gently. “Come.” He led her to the window. Kat smirked, laughing to herself and wondering what the elf had against doors.

Once up on the roof, Zevran motioned for her to sit beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and pointed up. Streaks lit up the sky in a meteor shower. 

“Look, Bella. Your Anders must be having some pretty heavy thoughts on you tonight.” Zevran waggled an eyebrow, laughing when she playfully elbowed him.

Kat settled into his arms and they both watched the show put on by the heavens.

*** 

Anders looked up from where he was healing the broken arm of a child sitting in the lap of the girl’s worried mother. He nodded, seeing Celine enter.

“She’s all set. No more running near stairs.” He gently scolded the girl who nodded. The mother thanked him and left the clinic with a nod to Celine.

“Anders, do you have a moment?” Celine looked excited about whatever she had to tell him.

“Clinic’s empty, so yes,” He smirked, her excitement contagious.

“I wanted to thank you for all you’ve shown me these past few years. I’ve learned so much about healing.” She beamed.

“Why do I feel like you’re getting ready to say goodbye?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I am.” She took his hand in both of hers. “I was here because the man I loved was here, but we’re leaving tonight. Going far away where we can be safe. Just...just be in love. Maybe even marry.”

“He’s a fellow mage? Why were you here? Was he in the gallows?” Anders wondered if her secret love was one of the people they helped escape last week.

Celine didn’t answer, instead looking at her feet.

Anders pulled back his hand. “It’s a bloody Templar. Oh Celine, how...what makes you think you can trust him? He’ll only turn on you in the end.”

“No, he won’t. I’ve known him for years. Before Kirkwall even. He won’t. Please Anders, I just...I just wanted to say goodbye before we left.” Tears formed in her eyes.

Anders stopped pacing and nodded. “Of course.” He pulled her into a hug. “I’ll miss you.”

He watched her leave and wondered if Lirine would be able to find him yet another assistant. The rest of the day had been relatively slow. A few stomach bugs, a broken leg, but that was about it. Before long it was time for Wicked Grace with his friends. He locked up the clinic and headed to the Hanged Man.

Anders entered Varric’s room and took a seat beside Merrill. She’d never been the same since they had rescued her a year ago. She was more withdrawn, quieter. She’d moved into Hawke’s mansion, no one feeling the alienage was safe for her anymore. She’d taken over Bethany’s old room, and it had become the best thing for her. She and Orana had formed a friendship. Since then everyone of their friends had become more protective of her, kinder even, not that they weren’t kind to her before. Being mean to her would have been like kicking a puppy.

Anders pulled a flower out of his pocket and handed it to the elf. He felt some joy at the way her eyes lit up as she took it, a genuine smile across her face. Something rare to see these days. “Thank you. Oh Anders, this is beautiful.”

“It’s worth it to see you smile.” Anders smirked. 

Across the way, Fenris and Hawke were whispering quietly to each other. Since reuniting, they were rarely apart. Fenris hadn’t moved into Hawke’s home, but Anders suspected it was only a matter of time. Varric entered and placed a bowl of stew in front of the mage.

“The meat isn’t cat. That’s about all I can promise.” Varric commented and he settled in his own seat.

Anders dug in as Aveline and Donnic entered, back from their honeymoon the week prior. They were followed closely by Carver and Isabela. Varric shuffled the cards and dealt.

The first hand Hawke lost spectacularly, distracted by whatever was going on under the table between him and Fenris. The second hand Anders actually won. A rarity, which he enjoyed. The third hand  was currently in session. Anders looked around and realized almost no one was paying attention to the game. Fenris and Hawke were talking in low voices, the only words Anders could hear sounded dirty. Aveline and Donnic were at the bar talking with some of the city guards. Beside him Carver and Isabela were pretty much making out. Anders wanted to be happy for his friends, they’d all found love, had someone special. He _wanted_ to be happy, but instead he could only feel jealousy. Jealous that they all had the freedom to love who they wanted, to _be_ _with_ who they wanted.

“I’m heading home.” He announced no longer feeling the urge to play cards.

Anders stopped as he neared his clinc, seeing one of the mages from the underground pacing near the door.

“Kenneth?” Anders wondered why he was there.

“Anders, it’s...this is bad. Real bad.” He grabbed Anders’ arm and dragged him into the clinic.

Inside Celine was next to a cot, sobs wracking through her as she draped her body over someone on the cot.

“It’s Jeran.” Kenneth sighed.

Anders moved quickly to the cot. “Celine, I need to see him.” He sucked in his breath as he got his first good look at Jeran. He was breathing, but his eyes were glassed over. He seemed to just be staring at nothing.

“What happened?” He asked as he searched with his magic to find what was wrong.

“Meredith...she found out about us.” Celine devolved into loud sobs again.

“That bitch forced lyrium down his throat.” Kenneth snarled.

“She overdosed him?” Anders eyes grew wide. “That’s...the worst she should have done was kick him out or imprison him. This is insane.”

“She’s a menace. More than the Templars.” Kenneth swore.

“Jeran.” Celine sobbed loudly, throwing herself over him again.

“Celine.” Anders touched her arm. He hated this, for all his power, just as with Hawke’s mother, he was unable to help. “I’m sorry. I can’t do anything.”

Her sobbing grew loud as Anders walked with Kenneth to the other side of the clinic. “We have to do something. This...this is too much.”

“I agree. But what? A mass escape isn’t possible. What can we…” Kenneth’s words were cut off by a blood curdling scream from across the room.

“Holy Maker!” Anders yelled out, as Kenneth cast rain to put out the fire. Anders ran over to the cot but it was too late.

“Oh Celine. No.” Anders sank to his knees. There was nothing left but their charred corpses. “You didn’t have to do this sweetheart.”

Kenneth helped him remove their bodies, they buried the two of them in a small grave where they could be together for eternity. Every pile of dirt the shovel dug was another stab in the heart to Anders. Another reminder that mages would never know freedom. That no one cared for them. That they were punished for something as basic as love. Karl’s face with the starburst across his head flashed before him once again. 

_ No more. Never again. _ Anders swore to himself.

*** 

Anders entered Hawke’s home. “Messere is in the library.” Bodhan told him.

“Anders. Hey, great to see you.” Hawke looked up from the book he was reading.

“Hawke, I need your help with something.” Anders explained. “I’m going to be trying something, and I thought you’d like to be a part of it.”

“Sounds intriguing. What is it?”  Hawke stood up.

“What I did with Justice was unnatural. I should never have done it. I’ve spent the past three years researching the books from the Magisters we found in Fenris’ mansion. There’s a way to separate myself from Justice, but I need your help to get the ingredients for the potion.” Anders explained.

“Of course. What do you need?” Hawke readily agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to assume you all know what happens next in Kirkwall :)  
> Thanks to replicajester for the idea of what happened to Jeran


	12. The Search

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat finds out about what happened in Kirkwall and begins a search across Thedas for Anders. Along the way she meets several DA favorites.

“Have I told you lately how amazingly wonderful you are and that I love you?” Tomas beamed.

Kat giggled. “Yes, pretty much every time I make apple tarts. It’s nice to know it’s appreciated.”

“Very much so.” Tomas grinned as he plopped another in his mouth. “These are the best.”

“Well, it’s your mother’s recipe, so I think you may be biased.” Kat playfully swatted at him.

Tomas nodded and then looked past her. “If we ever locked the window, would you be able to figure out a way in?”

Kat turned around to see Zevran.

“Doors lack flair.” Zevran gave an exaggerated bow.

“He’s just upset that he needs to share the tarts with someone else.” Kat teased Tomas on the cheek. “What can we do for you Zev?”

“Bella. I have news. War has broken out in Ferelden and the Free Marches. It delayed the message reaching me.” Zevran explained as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

“What news?” Kat raised an eyebrow.

“The Chantry in Kirkwall was destroyed. A bomb.” Zevran took her hand. “They say it was a mage that set the bomb.”

“Anders?” She collapsed back against the high cooking table.

“Si.” Zevran confirmed, stepping closer. He pulled her gently to lean on him, his hand running soothingly over her hair.

“Is he...did they kill him?” She felt panic grasping at her just below the surface. Her fingers gripped his sides in response.

“I do not know, Bella. We have heard rumors, some that the Champion struck him down, others say he helped fight the Templars and left safely after the fighting.” Zevran shook his head as he leaned his cheek against her head..

“I…” She turned her head and looked at Tomas beside her. “I have to know for sure, Tomas. If he’s alive…”

Tomas squeezed her arm. “I’ll let Christophe know. We’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.”

“I’m not ever sure where to go.” She stood back from Zevran and looked at her hands.

“I have an old friend with the newly formed Inquisition. You can start there.” Zevran offered and reached for one of her hands. “I shall write, see that she is still there.”

“Zev? You’re not coming?” Kat looked at her friend.

“I wish I could go, but my place is here. If I were to leave I do not doubt another would try to take over the Crows.” Zevran sighed, touching her cheek again. “You will write? Let me know you are safe?”

“Of course. Thank you Zev.” She stood closer, allowing him to pull her into another hug.

“You stay safe.” Zevran reached into his pocket and pulled out a sealed letter. “If you run into trouble you use this, it states you are under my protection.”

Kat nodded, squeezing her arms around Zevran. She took a deep breath and hoped she could find him.

Zevran turned towards the window and made a clucking noise with his tongue. Two Crows entered, an elven woman and a large human. “Bella, this is Antonia and Miguel. They will accompany you until you are safely past the fighting.”

“Zev. Thank you but…”

“No. It is bad out there Bella, and though you are my brave dragon hunter, that was many years ago. It will comfort me to know you all are safe as you travel to the Inquisition. You will allow me this, si?” He tilted her chin up so that he could see her eyes.

She saw in his eyes the love and concern he had for all of them, that it was painful for him to let them go, these people that had become family to him, even though he knew why they must. “Si, Zev. For you.”

Zevran let out a sigh of relief and kissed her lips softly. “You will be safe. You find your mage, and if you do not, there is still a home for you here.”

“Thank you, Zev. For everything.” Kat sunk back into his arms again.

Three days later they were getting the last of their supplies loaded onto a wagon. Antonia and Miguel arrived on horses to accompany them.

“Where will you head?” Zevran asked Tomas.

“We plan to head to Cumberland. From there we’ll charter a boat to Jader. Haven is not much further once we land.” Tomas explained.

“I hope Haven is not the horrid place full of cultists that I found it to be in the Blight.” Zevran let out a shiver. “If I hear news I will send it through the Crows.” He looked to the wagon where the rest of the party sat. “You will keep them safe?”

Tomas saw the worry in the elf’s eyes, and knew that he was having a hard time watching them leave. He placed a hand on Zevran’s arm. “With my life if I have to.”

“I hope it does not come down to that, my friend. Daylight burns, and it’s over two months just to Cumberland. Be safe.” Zevran had said his goodbyes to the rest of them already. Watching them actually leave would be too much. He turned and left on his horse, several Crows following behind for protection.

*** 

It felt like the trip to Cumberland took forever. With the help of the Crows scouting ahead, they’d been able to avoid the fighting. Kat was more concerned about the rogue Templars then she was about the rebel mages. Tomas had secured them a ship to leave in a week, so all they could do now was wait. The trip took an extra month longer than planned due to the war and their desire to avoid it, resulting in them having to travel further North and in a more roundabout manner.

Christophe sat on an oversized stuffed chair in their room at the inn. Kat climbed into the chair and snuggled close. “It’s nice to stop moving finally. Even if it is just for a week.” She sighed.

Christophe took one of her hands and wove their fingers together. “What will you do if we find him?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. We still don’t know if Anders is even alive. He could have died six months ago for all we know and this whole trip is pointless.” She rested her head on his shoulder, watching their hands.

“But presuming he’s alive?” He rested his head on top of hers.

“Well then. After I thank the Maker that he’s alive, I guess he and I have a lot to talk about. I’m trying not to think about that. I’m scared of what will come of that talk.” Kat tried to will away the tears from her eyes.

Christophe squeezed her hand. “Let’s not dwell on the what ifs then. Tomas seems to think we’ll find help at the Inquisition, so we focus on this.”

“When we get there I want you to stay in Jadar.” She sat up slightly to look at her friend.

“Kat, I don’t…”

“No. We don’t know which side this Inquisition is on. If they are with the Templars then it means it’s not safe for mages. We can’t take that risk and you know it.” She watched his eyes, letting him know this was not a debate.

“Yes, you’re right. Fine, when we get there I will stay in Jadar.” He promised.

*** 

_ Zev- _

_ We have arrived in Jadar. Your letter beat us here. The trip across the Waking Sea took longer than anticipated. I had hoped by now we would have answers, but four months into our journey, and we haven’t even gotten to our first destination.  _

_ I will keep an eye out for your friend, Leliana, when we are in Haven. I hope this trip is not for nothing. Please tell me this is not a fool’s errand, that I will find him. _

_ I miss Antiva. I miss you, I hope I made the right decision. _

_ -Kat  _

*** 

Tomas and Kat entered Haven. What she found there was a shock, from what she’d heard of the Inquisition, she expected so many more people than what she was seeing. She could hear the sounds of soldiers practicing somewhere nearby, metal clanging on metal and someone yelling to keep their shields up. People bustled all around them, each seeming to have a task to do and not paying them much attention.

She passed a dwarf sitting by a fire telling a story to children gathered around him. His hands moved around as he spoke. Whoever he was, he seemed to have a knack for storytelling, as the children all were watching him spellbound. Even Kat was fascinated, turning and walking backwards after they passed, wanting to keep watching.

She turned back around and looked beside her and up at Tomas. “I expected a lot more people. I’m not sure how this small group can help.”

“When we find Zevran’s friend we’ll see if we can get some answers.” He reassured her. “How about a drink, to celebrate we’ve arrived?”

She smiled wide and nodded as they approached the tavern and Tomas held the door for her. She looked around, the place was full of soldiers eating, other tables of adventurers talking. It was loud, but she heard a booming voice that got her attention immediately.

“Chargers, horn’s up!” Someone yelled from across the tavern.

Kat’s eyes scanned the room for the owner of that voice. Her smile grew wide when she saw those familiar horns. “BULL!” 

A large qunari stood quickly and Tomas grabbed his blade, ready to fight. He stepped in front of Kat to protect her but she dodged around him and actually ran  _ to _ the qunari. How was he supposed to protect her when she ran at danger?

The Iron Bull let out a large bellow of a laugh when he spotted her and held his arms wide. “Boss!” 

Kat found herself being lifted in the air by The Iron Bulli. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged. He put her back down and she beamed at him. “Bull. What are you doing here?”

“Helping the Inquisition. These are the Chargers. Chargers, meet Kat, the best damned dragon hunter around.” He moved his hand to indicate the others around the table.

“Hi,” She nodded to them all. Tomas had finally joined her at the table. “Bull, this is Christophe’s husband, Tomas.”

Bull laughed his loud laugh again and shook the warrior’s hand. “Someone finally got the Vint to settle down. Congratulations.” 

Tomas smirked. Now that he realized who the qunari was, he knew him to be a friend. “I’ve heard much about you. Truth be told, I thought he and Kat had exaggerated about you, but it appears not.”

“Come, sit, boss. Flissa, more ales!” The Iron Bull yelled out.

“Bull, what happened to your eye?” Kat frowned as she cupped his face with her hands.

“Long story. But I was very heroic.” He winked with his remaining eye at her.

“Bull has told us a lot about you.” One of the men reached across the table to shake her hand. “The name’s Krem. This here’s Dalish, Skinner, Rocky, Grim and Stitches.”

“Hello to you all.” She shook the hand of each.

“So what are you doing here, Boss. And where’s the Vint?” Bull handed her and Tomas the ale the server brought over.

“He’s staying nearby. I wasn’t sure what the situation was here regarding Templars, needed to keep him safe.” She explained. “We’re here looking for information on someone. I was told to seek out someone named Leliana.”

“I know Leliana. She’s their spymaster, I’ll introduce you. Who you looking for? Maybe I know them?” Bull asked as he put an arm around her thrilled to see an old friend.

“Remember when I went to see King Alistair coronated while you all were scouting?” She watched as Bull nodded.

“Yeah, you found some mage, but then lost him.” 

“That’s who we’re looking for. He’s...well he was the one in Kirkwall who…” She felt nervous suddenly. While she trusted Bull, she wasn’t sure this was a safe place.

Bull raised an eyebrow. “THAT was your mage?” He laughed yet again. “You sure do know how to find trouble.”

“Do you know anything?” She looked at him hopeful.

“Nah. But Varric, he knows him. Maybe he can help. I’ll introduce you to him as well.” Bull nodded and then lifted his drink. “But first we drink!”

*** 

“The Herald’s report says that there is fighting along here, causing a break in the trade routes.” Cullen pointed to the map as he stood in Leliana’s tent.

“You know she hates it when you call her that.” Leliana teased.

“It’s important to keep a professional...distance.” Cullen glared at the Spymaster.

“Right. And not cause one of us is trying to keep his crush under wraps.” Leliana winked.

Cullen pinched his eyes shut and took a deep breath. The woman knew entirely too much for her own good, and while it might make her an excellent Spymaster for the Inquisition, it drove the Commander up the wall when those powers of observation were turned on him. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mmm,hmm.” Leliana nodded, unconvinced as her smirk showed.

“Maker, what is that?” Cullen’s eyes grew wide seeing The Iron Bull heading towards them with a...was that a woman perched on his bicep? Cullen shook his head to ensure it wasn’t a hallucination from the lyrium withdrawals. He opened his eyes to find, much to his disappointment that not only was it not, but they were singing as well.

Leliana chuckled at the Commander’s distaste. “Bull, what can I do for you?” 

Bull put the woman down on the ground, “Boss.” 

“Bull,” The woman giggled in return, clearly quite drunk.

“Leliana, this is the Boss. The other Boss, not the Boss you know…”

“Bull! You call someone else Boss? I’m hurt!” The woman pouted as she swayed.

Bull shuffled his feet, “It’s not like...I didn’t...I’m sorry Boss I…”

The woman burst out laughing. “I’m teasing you dummy.” The little thing then proceeded to punch the qunari in the arm hard.

Cullen watched this all in surprise. She was about the size of The Iron Bull’s arm, yet seemed to not think twice about  _ punching a qunari _ .

“Bull?” Leliana couldn’t keep the amused grin from her face.

“Oh, yes. I was saying, the Boss...er Kat here, was looking for you. Kat here is the best dragon hunter round.”

“Retired.” Kat corrected him, still slurring her words a little. “Have res..respo...have to look after things now.”

“Perhaps it would be better to meet when you’ve celebrated less?” Leliana asked.

“No!” Kat shouted and then covered her mouth as if surprised at how loud she was. “Sorry.”

“Ok.” Leliana shook her head. “How is it you’ve come to look for me?”

“Zevran. He said he wrote you, you did get his letter, si? I mean yes?” Kat’s eyebrows wrinkled in worry.

“Ah, yes. He was vague about who was coming, only that it was a friend. I had thought perhaps it was someone else, but...well no matter. What can I help you with?” Leliana handed some water to the woman.

“I’m looking for someone. He’s important to me but…” Kat looked around as if there was danger. Cullen followed where she was looking, but there was no one around but the four of them. He was having trouble picturing this little thing bringing down a dragon. “Sorry, haven’t drank this much in many years. Bull, why’d you let me drink so much?”

“You pulled my horn when I tried to stop you. Hurt too.” The Iron Bull rubbed his head at the memory.

“Mmm. Wimp.” She teased the qunari. Well, whoever she was, she clearly thought little of tormenting qunari.  _ Her and Hawke would get along famously _ , Cullen thought as he rolled his eyes.

“Kat?” Leliana tried to get her focus back.

“Oh, yeah. Um...look, he’s not well liked this is sort of his mess...I mean he may have started this?” Kat waved her hand around.

“You’re not looking for Corypheus, are you?” Cullen sounded shocked.

“Coryphewho now?” Kat raised her eyebrows.

“She means Anders.” Leliana guessed, which was probably not an actual guess. Knowing her, she probably knew a week before the woman arrived that this was going to happen.

“Not much better.” Cullen grunted.

Kat whipped her head and glared at the Commander. “Shut it.”

“Now see here…” Cullen started to argue.

“Qunari.” Kat pointed to Bull, “Dragon.” She fumbled through some hand gesture that Cullen guessed was supposed to be a dragon. “Commander,” she pinched her fingers together to indicate something small. “Guess which one of those I can kick the ass of quicker? Even drunk.”

“Delightful friend you have there, Bull.” Cullen raised an eyebrow. These two were giving him a headache. Or it could have been the lyrium withdrawals. Either way, he could feel one coming on.

“I’m sorry, Kat.” Leliana shook her head. “I honestly don’t know where Anders is. We haven’t really been looking for him, though. There’s been a lot more on our plate. Bull, perhaps Varric could…”

“That’s what I suggested, but she wanted to come see you right away.” Bull interrupted as Kat’s shoulders fell in disappointment.

“I suggest you find Varric tomorrow. In the meantime, Bull, have Josie find your friend someplace for the night. Come see me tomorrow, Kat.” Leliana then turned back to her letters, effectively ending the meeting.

Josie was able to find Kat and Tomas a loft above the barracks for them to sleep the night. Kat crawled into the hay pile beside Tomas and looked at him, her eyes studying his face.

“Tomas?” She poked his nose. The warrior chuckled and pulled her hand away.

“Yes drunk Kat?” He asked amused.

“Christophe loves you.” She smiled.

“I know.” He grinned. “I love him too.”

“You two...you’re just so...right. I want that. I want  _ right _ .” She sighed, her face dropping and tears starting to form in her eyes.

“Kat?” Tomas’ voice was soft. He loved the little rogue in front of him as much as his own sister. Seeing her hurt tore at him.

“What if this is a waste? What if we can’t find him? Or we do but he...what if he hates me when he finds out?” Tears fell softly down her face.

“He won’t hate you.” Tomas wiped the tears from her cheek. “I saw the way he fussed over you when you were injured. He loved you then, I doubt that has changed. As for finding him, we’re just at the start of the journey…”

“But it’s been four months…” 

“But that was to get here. We’re at the start here. Let’s see where this leads us. Let’s see this through for a while before we decide to call it quits.” He tried to reassure her, pulling the woman into his arms. “Try to sleep, Kat.”

“Tomas.” She yawned into his chest.

“Yes, Kat?”

“I’m glad Toff has you.” Her breathing evened out as she fell asleep.

The next morning Bull introduced Kat and Tomas to Varric. She was pleasantly surprised to find this Varric was the same storyteller that had captured her attention the day before.

“I’m looking for someone. Bull and Leliana thought you could help.”Kat sat beside the fire.

“If you’re looking for Hawke, I don’t know where he is and if I did, I’m not about to tell anyone here.” Varric raised an eyebrow, looking at them both with suspicion.

Kat shook her head. “I’m not looking for the Champion. One of his friends. I’m...I don’t even know…” She swallowed hard, feeling her throat constrict.

“We’re looking for Anders.” Tomas spoke plainly.

Varric’s eyes narrowed. “And why would that be?”

“He’s important to me.” Kat decided she wasn’t going to tell this dwarf more than she had to, given how little trust he was showing her.

“Or maybe you’re just looking to put a knife in Blondie’s back.”  Varric tilted his head.

“Is he...he’s still alive then?” Kat couldn’t keep the hope from her voice.

“Last I saw of him, yes.” Varric nodded.

Kat’s entire body slumped in relief. Her eyes teared up again as she looked at Tomas. The warrior touched the back of her head with his hand and kissed her forehead. “We’ll find him.” He promised her.

Varric watched the two of them, and remembered a story he’d been told once by Fenris when the elf was trying to decide if he should ask Hawke to give him another chance. A story about the mage and a woman.

“You’re the dragon hunter.” Varric said, more a statement then a question. “You’re Blondie’s dragon hunter.”

Kat looked at the dwarf with tears in her eyes and nodded.

“Look,” Varric said, his voice kinder than it was before. “I was telling you the truth. I don’t know where he is, but now that I know who you are...before he was in Kirkwall he was a Grey Warden in Ferelden. It’s possible he ran back there. If not, they may know where to find him. I’d start there if I was looking for him.”

*** 

“So we’re headed where now?” Christophe questioned as they readied the wagon.

“The Grey Wardens have a station at Vigil’s Keep. That’s where Varric said he was before Kirkwall.” Kat explained.

“What makes you think they’ll even talk to us?” He asked.

“Hope. I have letters from Zevran and now the Inquisition’s Spymaster. Hopefully that will open some doors for us.” Kat explained.

“I think it’s the best shot we have.” Tomas backed her up.

“At least Wardens are friendlier to mages.” Christophe leaned into Tomas’ side as Kat took the reins and got the wagon moving.

*** 

_ Zev-  _

_ I can’t believe it’s been almost six months since we left Antiva. The winter storms slowed us down, heading through the Frostbacks. We’re talking to the Wardens tomorrow, although I’m guessing you already know that since I suspect you have Crows watching out for us. It’s the only way I can explain how we’ve yet to run into ex-Templars or rebel mages yet. _

_ Thank you for that. I think Christophe is tiring of life on the road. It never bothered him before, but I guess he got used to living the pampered life in our villa. Tomas is sure we’ll find him though, and it’s keeping me moving forward. _

_ Wish us luck. _

_ Yours _

_ Kat _

*** 

Kat approached the gates of Vigil’s Keep. Tomas and Christophe had decided to stay behind at Amaranthine given that Kat didn’t expect any trouble with Grey Wardens. On top of that, Christophe had come down with a cold, so Tomas wanted to stay close by and baby his husband a little.

To say the Warden stronghold was intimidating was an understatement. Had this really been someone’s home at one point? It seemed so cold, not warm like the small farm house she had grown up in. But maybe he was in there? She could possibly be minutes from seeing those amber eyes again, from feeling his arms around her once more.

“Halt.” A rather intimidating Warden held up his hand. “What is your business?”

“I’m hoping to find information on a former Warden. He was stationed here during the Blight.” Kat tried to keep the nervousness from her voice.

“Serrah?” The Warden looked at her quizzically. “There are no  _ former _ Wardens. Once you’re a Warden, it’s for life.”

“Oh.” She pulled at her shirt feeling nervous. How is it she could face down a razorback without a problem but a Grey Warden made her scared? “Well, I, I know he left your ranks. He may be here, or maybe someone here knows where I could find him?”

The Warden sighed, perhaps taking pity on her. “Follow me.”

Kat followed the Warden through a main yard. Dozens of Wardens were practicing. Dwarves, elves, and humans alike. A few mages even. Her eyes moved about constantly looking to see if she could see him. The warden walked up to a red-haired woman leading the troops. She nodded to him and then approached Kat.

“I was told you were looking for someone? I’m afraid pretty much everyone that was here during the blight are stationed elsewhere, but we’ll help if we can.” She reached out her hand, her voice was a think Orlesian accent. “Commander Bonneau.”

“Commander. Thank you. The man I’m looking for is a mage, Anders.” Kat shook the Commander’s hand.

The Warden-Commander snorted. “You and half of Thedas my dear. I will tell you what I told the others, I do not know where he is, and if I did, I’m not in the habit of handing over Wardens to bounty-hunters, no matter what he has done.”

“I...no. I’m not...here,” she dug into her pocket pulling out two letters, one from Zevran, the other from Leliana. “I have these showing that I am an ally.” 

The Commander looked them over and then said something to the Warden that had led her here. The man saluted and took off into the Keep.

“Come.” She nodded.

Kat’s stomach flipped, excited to think that maybe, just maybe he actually was here. Maybe the letters had proved she was safe. Perhaps this Commander was taking her to him. Her insides practically vibrated from nerves.

“Wait here a moment, please.” The Warden Commander requested and then left her to go into the room they had stopped at.

Kat shifted from foot to foot nervously as she checked her hair and messed with her shirt again. Was he in there? What if he sent her away? No, no he wouldn’t. He’d be happy to see her, at least at first. The door opened and Kat’s breath caught in her throat. The Warden Commander stepped to the side, leaving Kat to enter. After she walked in she heard the door shut behind her. Across the room, a Warden stood by the fireplace, his back to her. He had reddish blonde hair. Kat’s lip started to tremble.

“Anders?” She asked, seeing the man holding her letters. He turned around and her heart clenched it was not him.

“No, I’m sorry.” The man looked at her, his face showing he meant his words. “You must be pretty important though for both Zev and Leli to back you.” He handed her back her letters which she tucked into her sack.

“You know them?” She asked.

The man nodded. “They traveled with me during the blight. Forgive me, I’m Alistair.”

Kat’s eyes grew wide with shock and she fell to her knees. “Oh, your Majesty. Please forgive me.”

“No, no stop that.” Alistair reached down, gently tugging her arms to pull her back up. “Please, I hate that. Just none of that ok? Especially here, here I’m a Grey Warden like the rest.”

Kat watched her King with amazement.  _ Christophe is going to freak _ , she thought. She could hardly believe she was in the same room as the freaking King of freaking Ferelden. And he wanted her to call him Alistair! Holy Freaking Maker.

Alistair chuckled and she realized she’d said that last bit out loud and blushed. “I promise you, I’m not really that impressive.” He snorted. “Why are you looking for Anders?”

“I...your Highness…”

“Alistair.”

“Alistair, it’s for personal reasons. He’s,” she felt her throat tighten from the disappointment, “important to me.”

“You won’t even tell your King?” Alistair asked, the smirk showing he was teasing.

“No. I’m sorry Alistair, but I just don’t know who to trust, and I can’t risk trusting the wrong person.” She looked at her hands that were starting to shake.

A large hand covered hers and squeezed. She looked up to see that the King had stepped closer and was trying to comfort her. “It’s ok. If Zevran trusts you that’s good enough for me. Tell him to come to Denerim sometime, I miss having actual friends around instead of people being nice because I’m the King.”

“Thank you.” She let out a slow breath.

“I don’t know where Anders is, but there’s someone in Lake Calenhad that I think can help you. There’s an Inn there, called the Spoiled Princess. Look for this symbol on his shield,” Alistair drew a symbol on a piece of paper for her. “He’s a friend.”

Kat looked at the paper. “I feel like I’m being sent on some epic quest like in one of those books.” 

Alistair chuckled. “I know the feeling. I wish you luck.” 

Kat shook the King’s hand, and decided he was even better looking up close. “Thank you, Alistair.”

“When you find the person I’m talking about, tell him a letter to his sister once in awhile would be appreciated.” Alistair winked.

*** 

“You did  _ not _ meet the King of Ferelden. Why do you lie to me like this?” Christophe shook his head.

“I swear to you I did.” Kat beamed. “He’s cute too.”

“Tomas, my best friend lies to me.” Christophe continued to tease her as Tomas steered the wagon on the road to Lake Calenhad.

They passed two men walking along the road in discussion with each other. Kat sat up quickly and dug into her bag pulling out a paper with scribbling on it. She looked at it and then behind them and back to the paper. “Tomas stop. Stop now!”

Tomas pulled on the reins and looked behind him where Kat had been sitting. “Kat? What’s wrong?”

She’d already leapt out of the wagon and was running back to the two men on the road yelling out to them. “Wait, please.” 

The two men stopped and turned towards her. “Can we help you, Serrah?”

“You...that shield. Is there anyone else that would have that?” She needed to be sure.

“This is my family crest. So only me and my brother.” The man watched her closely. 

“Would he be at Lake Calenhad?” She asked.

“No. You’re looking for Fergus?” He asked.

“I think...I think I’m looking for you.” She approached him as Tomas turned around the wagon.

“You think?” The man laughed. “If you’re not sure, then how should I know?”

“Alis...Uh, the King told me to look for this.” She held up the piece of paper with Alistair’s drawing on it. “He said to tell you to write your sister.”

The man laughed loudly. “Please tell me Alistair didn’t send you all this way to tell me I don’t write enough.”

“I don’t think so.” She shook her head. She certainly hoped the King hadn’t tricked her. He didn’t seem unkind, like he would do that to her. “I’m looking for someone. He said you could help. Anders.”

The man stiffened. He knew something, she could tell. “I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

“What? No, please. We’ve been looking for him for months. I have to find him, please.” She couldn’t get this close and have it turn to nothing. Her voice started to warble as he began to walk away. “Please.”

The man’s companion had been watching her the entire time , his steely eyes penetrating her, but he’d said nothing to her until now. “Fenton, wait.”

Fenton turned around, his arms crossed.

“What’s your name?” The man asked her.

“Katrina.” Why did her name matter?

“Nate?” Fenton asked, seeming to be just as curious.

Nate looked to the occupants in the wagon and then back to her. He looked as if he had reached a decision. “You know the town he came from?”

“Rossleigh.” She nodded.

“Next town over, twenty miles east. There’s a man there, Wolfrick Kraus. He’ll be able to tell you what happened to Anders.” Nate told her.

Kat didn’t like the sound of that,  _ what happened. _ But it was something. “Thank you.” She hugged the steely eyed warden who stiffened in response.

She turned back to her friends hopeful they’d be willing to go on one more trip.

“You sure that’s wise?” Fenton asked Nathaniel as the wagon passed them.

Nathaniel nodded. “He’d want her to know.”

***

“Rossleigh is at least another month away. Are you sure you’re ok with this?” Kat bit her bottom lip. “I’d understand if you’re not willing to.”

“We’ve been on this search for seven months now Kat.” Christophe touched her hand.

Kat nodded, she feared it was too much to ask.

“These men seemed to be sure we’d find an answer there. Let’s make the trip. If it’s not a final answer we return home.” Tomas spoke, holding up his hand when Kat let out a whimper. “We won’t give up, we’ll just ask Zev to pick up the trail. Alright?” He looked at her and his husband, trying to keep both of them happy.

“Thank you.” Kat said quietly, sinking back into her seat.


	13. Wolfrick Krause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat, Christophe and Tomas arrive in Yeren to look for Wolfrick.  
> Several surprises in this chapter.  
> Oh, and smut, but you're not interested in that.

**** Christophe stood in front of the bar waiting for the barkeep. A large bear of a man with solid white hair and a long beard approached.

“What can I help you with, Serrah?” When he spoke it was with a thick Anderfels accent.

“We’ll need a room, two beds please. And dinner for our table.” The mage replied. The barkeep looked to the indicated table and nodded. “How long will you be needing the room?”

“Not quite sure. We’ve come looking for someone. It could take some time to find him, possibly more to get what information we need from him.” Christophe handed him some coins for the room and meal.

“Well, the misses and I have lived here near on twenty years now. Leon M ü eller. Perhaps we know this feller you’re looking for. He have a name?” Leon asked.

“Leon. Name’s Christophe. We’re looking for a Wolfrick Kraus.” Christophe shook the offered hand.

Leon’s demeanor changed from friendly to guarded. “Just what are you looking for him for?”

“We mean no harm,” Christophe held up his hands to demonstrate just that. “We’re looking for an old friend, and we were told Wolfrick would know where to find him. Please, I promise, we aren’t looking to cause trouble for him or anyone else, but we’ve traveled many months all over Thedas and back, and this is the best lead we’ve had so far.”

Leon looked back at the table with this man’s companions and thought for a moment. “Fine, but be warned, he may be a bit of a hermit, keeps to himself and all. But any trouble and you’ll have the entire town coming down on you. Understood?”

“Absolutely.” Christophe shook the man’s hand again to show agreement.

***

A light breeze blew through the plains as Kat looked over the valley of the hill she stood on. Below she could see the farmhouse the innkeeper had told her she could find this Wolfrick in. They hadn’t been able to get much information on him. People in these parts seemed distrustful of strangers. All she did know was he pretty much kept to himself, coming to town once a month to trade. By all accounts he was a peaceful man, a farmer without a family that anyone was aware of. Yet somehow he had information on Anders, she just needed to figure out a way to convince him she could be trusted with that information.

“Kat?” Christophe stood beside her, his arm around her.

She looked up at him and smirked. “It all changes the minute I walk down there. Either he tells me Anders died and we head home and I wasted everyone’s time with this search, or he tells me where to look, and we head home and let Zev pick it up. Either way, I didn’t find him and I feel like I dragged you all over for nine months for nothing. I’m sorry.”

Christophe put a hand on her cheek and shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry I’ve been cranky. If it was Tomas, you can believe I’d travel the world over to find him. I just hope you get some answers down there.”

“Thanks.” She leaned into his side.

“It’s odd. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a skirt since we left Antiva.” He looked down at her.

Kat shrugged. “I figured it’d be less intimidating than rogue leather and daggers. If I’m going to get him to tell a perfect stranger what I want to know, I can’t exactly look like I’m going to slice his throat.”

“But you are armed, right?” He asked.

“Of course. I’m not stupid.” She winked at him. “I better go before it gets late.”

“Be safe. We’ll wait for you at the inn until you’re done.” He kissed her forehead for luck and watched as she walked away.

Kat looked at the land around her as she walked. It was quiet, beautiful. A grey tabby cat rushed by her, chasing a butterfly. She stopped for a moment to watch the cat leap and bound after it’s prey. She smiled softly at how cute it was. Continuing, the unassuming farmhouse seemed to become more and more ominous as she drew closer. Despite her reassurances to Christophe, she was actually terrified of what was to come. Inside that house was someone who, assumedly, held answers for her, yes, but was it answers she would want to hear? Who was this Wolfrick? Anders’ father perhaps? A friend? What answers could he possibly have that the men she’d met in Lake Calenhad couldn’t tell her?

She approached the door, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. She straightened her skirt, trying to will her hands to stop shaking and then lifted her hand to knock on the door.

*** 

Anders finished chopping the last of the wood pile and whacked the ax in his hand into the log he’d been chopping on. It was getting hot, his breath coming fast from the work of chopping wood. There should be plenty for the winter when it came. He eyed the large pile of wood and decided he could pile it later, the heat from the day was getting to him. He wasn’t the young man he once was, his muscles felt stiff, and he wanted nothing more than a bath to soak in. He looked around him. Everything was quiet, such contradiction to Kirkwall. Still, the advantage to living alone meant if he wanted to stop working for the day, he could.

He tore off his sweat soaked shirt and walked back to his home. His attention was drawn downward by a noise and he spotted two kittens following closely behind. “Bath first, then I’ll feed you.” He chuckled at them as they bounded after him, landing on his porch to wrestle.

He spent the next fifteen minutes carrying buckets to his bathing room and filling the tub there. Once full he stripped off the remainder of his clothing and cast a heat spell to warm the water. He closed the bathing room door to close out any noise from outside, making this room a retreat in a ways. Climbing in the tub, he could immediately feel the tension leave his body. He let out a sigh of relief, just feeling the relaxation of the water soaking in. He leaned his head back against the edge of the tub and closed his eyes.

He rested, not quite falling asleep, but feeling close to it. Much as he missed his clinic, it was nice knowing he could just rest here in the tub and relax. He heard a thump and felt Justice stir, but since the spirit didn’t actually awaken, he decided he was safe to continue soaking. It was still a bit unnerving just the same, feeling Justice stir. The spirit had pretty much been completely silent ever since the ‘Battle of Kirkwall’, as it had come to be known in the pubs. It seemed that the horrors of what took place that day were enough to push Justice into silence. Anders discovered a short time after that was not all keeping the spirit quiet. Justice had apparently sensed a change in the Darkspawn taint in Anders’ blood and was doing  _ something _ , although Anders wasn’t sure  _ what _ , to counter it. Anders was sure it wasn’t the Calling, it was far too soon for that, but whatever it was the spirit was doing, it seemed to be working, as the mage almost felt like his old pre-warden self.

He settled back against the tub again, and let his mind wander yet again. He wondered, not for the first time, what his old friends were up to. Were Hawke and Fenris still together? Probably. Did Varric make him a hero or a villain in his book? That could have gone either way. Did Carver ever make an honest woman out of Isabela? Most likely not.

Then, if he was really feeling like torturing himself, he’d think about her. Was she still out there hunting? Had she finally settled down somewhere? Maybe even met someone special? That last question often left him with a lump in his throat. As much as he  _ wanted _ to be selfless enough to want her to be happy, he also wanted her to be his and only his. Did she even think of him anymore? Did she smile if she did? Did she know what he did?

Anders sat up from the tub and decided he didn’t feel like following that particular train of thought anymore. He rubbed his hand over his face and then stood, the water dripping down his body. He grabbed the towel and dried himself deciding that after feeding the cats, he’d pile up the firewood after all. Then maybe drink himself into a stupor until he stopped thinking of her laugh.

He padded across the hall to his room and dug through the drawers there to find a loose pair of breeches. He then walked into the kitchen to provide dinner for his pets. His home wasn’t large, but plenty big enough for him. Besides his room, the kitchen and his bathing room, he also had a small living room and a guest room for guests that he’s probably never have. No one even knew he was here to visit, save Nathaniel and Fenton, and they were too busy with Warden business to pop by anytime soon. Hawke probably had a clue where he was, Hawke always seemed to know more than he let on.

He set some meat on the stove for the cats, letting it cook while he poured some milk in a shallow bowl. His mind wandered to the week’s worth of activities he’d need to do. A trip to town soon, he had eggs from his chickens to trade, Maybe pick up some books, he was running out of things to read. Anything to keep him mind from wandering back to green eyes and soft lips.

*** 

_ What was the bloody point of being a hermit if you weren’t home when people came looking for you?  _ Kat leaned against one of the posts on the porch and looked out at the surrounding area letting out a shuddering breath. What did it matter, really? What could this Wolfrick really tell her? She’d dragged her friends all over Thedas on a ghost hunt for a man who didn’t want to be found. For a man who might not even be alive anymore. And even if he was, would he even want anything to do with her? It had been almost six years, who was to say he even had any feelings for her anymore? Especially after…

She let out another dragged out breath feeling the tears pool in her eyes. She’d been a fool, a stupid stupid fool. She’d pulled them all away from a comfortable life, a good life. One with a home, with laughter and joy. With safety, courtesy of Zevran. And for what? Nothing at all to show for it. Nine months and she was just as lost as she had been at the start of this. She realized it was time to face the truth, she had to let him go, had to stop hoping for  _ someday _ . Start leading a life, a real life. Maybe give Zevran a chance at something real instead of just friendship and the occasional tumble in the sheets? Maybe stop living a life on hold?

Two cats ran past her and she smiled at their cuteness. She pushed off of the pole and closed her eyes for a moment, letting the tears fall freely.

*** 

Anders opened his front door, and was nearly run into by the kittens. He put down the food and milk and smiled as they greedily started eating. He stood up to call the grey one when he realized he wasn’t alone on the porch. His heart caught as he realized who it was.

“Kat?” His voice shook, unsure she wasn’t just an illusion.

She turned, tears falling down her face. She was crying.  _ Why was she crying? _ Her mouth fell in shock as her eyes moved up and down him. He had a full beard and mustache, but she knew those eyes.

“Anders?” Her eyes grew wide. 

He nodded and a moment later she crashed into him pulling him down for an urgent kiss, her hands gripping in his hair. He gently wrapped his hands gently around her waist, pulling her back into the house, never breaking the kiss. He could question later how she found him, why she was here. Right now he just wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her. Questions could wait.

Her tongue pressed into his mouth, tangling with his as he moaned into her mouth. His hand ran along her shirt, pulling it up to free it from her skirt. No sooner was it free then his hands pushed under it to touch bare skin. Kat.  _ His Kat _ . If this was an illusion, if he was actually in his bathing room drowning in the tub, he had no desire to awaken. His back hit the living room wall and his nails dug slightly into her skin. She purred in response.

A hand slid into his breeches, wrapping around his hardening cock. Anders head rolled back as all thought left his mind. “Maker, Kat.” he moaned loudly.

“You blew up a chantry.” She whispered as her hand slid along him, causing him to slowly lose his mind. Some small part of him thought how this was not the usual reaction people had to what he had done. Before he could utter those words, she bit his neck, silencing his thoughts again.

“I...uhhhhh…” He moaned again, he pulled at her shirt and she let go of him only long enough for him to pull it off of her.

Her lips found his again while her hand still kept up its attentions on him. “I’m guessing you haven’t been thanked yet for that.”

“Do rocks thrown at me count?” He smirked at her.

She dropped quickly down and Anders head hit the wall again, his eyes rolling back in his head as he felt her tongue slide over his cock without warning. She’d pulled his breeches down so quick he hadn’t had time to think about it and now that mouth was doing so many wicked things to him. 

“You brought the Chantry to their knees. The circles, they're gone, all of them. You inspired the mages to finally revolt.” She pressed open mouth kisses along his ever hardening cock in between each sentence.

“Fuck, Kat.” He moaned as she moved her mouth, taking him almost all the way in before she’d pull back almost all the way out of her mouth and then back down. He hadn’t been with anyone since her nearly six years ago and he could feel his body quickly screaming towards that cliff. His abdomen felt a tug as he was lost in pure bliss. “Ohhhhh, Maker, Kat.” he moaned loudly again.

Her tongue ran along the vein, stimulating him even more. His hands grabbed at the wall, desperately scrambling for something to hold onto. He was close, too close. He tugged at her arms and she stood up. His hands grabbed her waist again as his lips found hers. He turned them around so that she was now the one with her back against the wall.

Anders hands held her hips while he kissed her cheeks, down to her neck. “Maker, you’re really here.” He whispered hot into her ear.

Her hands found his head and she gently tilted it to capture his lips in hers. “I love you.”

Anders bent down to pick her up and carried her to his bedroom. He laid her down crawling on top of her, his lips finding hers again, soft kisses. He was worked up for sure, but he didn’t want to rush this, she was here, and he planned to savor every moment.

Kat’s fingers ran through his hair as she returned his kisses. The feel of his weight on her was familiar, reassuring. She could hardly believe he was really here. She’d been looking for so long, and here he was, just as eager for her as she was for him.

“I love you.” He whispered against her skin as his lips found her neck. “I love you.” He repeated with each kiss down her throat.

“Anders.” She purred in response.

He rose up just a small bit to look at her. Her green eyes looking back up at him, he knew at that moment he couldn’t be without her anymore. “Stay.”

“What?” She smiled up, missing what he had said, being too distracted by staring into his eyes.

“Stay here, with me.” He brushed a hand along her cheek.

“I…” Her voice caught, a lump in her throat.

“No, Kat. I can’t...I won’t watch you walk away a third time, If you can’t stay here, I’ll go with you. I love you,and I’m done sacrificing.” He shook his head, tears starting to fill his eyes at the thought that she would really leave.

“No, it’s not that. Of  _ course  _ I want that.” She touched his cheek. “I just...I didn’t even expect to find you here. I was told to find someone named Wolfrick, that he would lead me to you. Who’s Wolfrick?”

“That would have been either Nate or Fenton you met. And Wolfrick is me. I mean that’s my, well I don’t want to say  _ real _ name, I’ve been Anders so long, that’s what feels more like me.” Anders smirked. He guessed Nate, remembering how much he had told the man about her, he must have recognized who she was.

Kat looked away from his eyes. This had been the moment she dreamed of and simultaneously dreaded all this time. She usually could read him like a book, but at this moment, she had no idea how he would react. “Anders, I…” She couldn’t do this. Not with him on top of her looking at her with so much adoration. It would just make what might come next hurt all the worse. She pushed her way back from him, sitting by the pillows.

Anders watched as she pulled away, it felt like slow motion, his worse fears occurring, she was pulling away. She didn’t actually want him. Was he always fated to be alone? His heart felt like Fenris had a grip on it.

“Anders, I have to tell you something.” She wouldn’t look at him, she was scared. Did she think he would be angry at her for what she had to say? He watched her, trying to figure out what she needed to tell him. Was there someone else? A husband perhaps?

“Kat?” He spoke softly as she had been quiet so long. He leaned on his side watching her, bracing himself for what was to come.

“I didn’t mean to keep this from you. I wanted...please don’t hate me.” She said the last bit softly, clear whatever she had to say was big, scary even. It was doing nothing to allay his fears.   _ He _ was the one that blew up a chantry, that started a war. What could she possibly think he could hate her for? “It was just, at first I couldn’t tell you because if Meredith found out, she’d use this against you. She might have even used it to get you back in the Circle, or worse. And then...after...I didn’t know where to find you. But I wanted to find you, you needed to know, and so we’ve been looking for you, nine months now. I’m sor...sorry Anders.” She started to shake, tears running down her cheek. “I never meant to…”

“Kat, you’re scaring me, just tell me.” He reached for her hand.

“You have, I mean we have a daughter.” Her eyes finally looked up, fear clear in them.

Anders sat up quickly. Of all the things he expected her to say, that...well that wasn’t even close to anything he imagined. He wasn’t alone. He had a family, a real family. But as a warden, how, it was supposed to be impossible.

_ Just how long have you been affecting the darkspawn taint in me? _

**_Since we joined._ **

It was a little strange, hearing from the spirit after so long. But it did answer his question of how. He turned his head to look at his Kat. “I’m...I’m a father?”

Kat nodded. She was still shaking, tears running down her face. Anders watched her. She...she thought he’d be mad? How could he be mad? In one sentence she’d given him everything.

“Kat, hey Kat,” He leaned up by her on the bed. “You did the right thing.”

She blinked, looking at him for a moment as if he’d spoken a different language. “You’re not...you don’t hate me?”

“No, sweetheart.” He took her hand in his and kissed the palm. “If Meredith had found out she wouldn’t have hesitated to use a child to get what she wanted. Tell me about her.”

“She’s adorable. Four, almost five. Her name is Alseia.” Kat’s smile grew. He wasn’t mad. “Are you happy?”

“Happy doesn’t even cover how I feel. Alseia.” He smiled trying it on his tongue. “That was my mother’s name.” He moved slightly closer. He had a daughter, a family. He felt like he was floating. If this was a trick of the fade, a demon’s thrall, he didn’t want to awaken.

“I know.” She touched his face and he moved on top of her again.

“Can I meet her?” Anders felt like his head was spinning. In just an hour he’d gone from sitting in a tub feeling sorry for himself to where he was now, on top of the world.

Kat nodded again. “She’s in town with Christophe and Tomas.” Anders’ began kissing along her cheek and neck as she spoke, sprawling out more on her as he did. “Anders, you’re naked.” She chuckled.

“You should know, you’re the one who took off my clothes.” He kissed her nose. “If there was any choice but the Chantry, I’d ask you to marry me right now.” 

“You would?” She felt all the worry and shame she’d carried for so many years start to dissipate.

“I would. I meant it when I said stay, that didn’t change. I love you, Kat.” His lips found hers.

Kat’s fingers dug into his hair, she looked in his eyes as he pulled back just enough to look at her. “Anders Wolfrick Krause, I promise to love you for the rest of our lives. I promise to stand beside you no matter what comes, to be your soft place to land when the world is hard, and to cherish and honor you as your wife.”

Anders breath caught. She was reciting vows to him. Her hand ran along his jaw, shaking him from his thoughts. “Katrina Starlin, I swear to be the husband you deserve. To love you every day as long as we both live, to honor and worship you and to always remind you just how much I adore you and need you.”

Kat smirked at him. “To the Void with the Chantry.” 

Anders smirked. “Is it any wonder I love you so much?” 

He put his hands behind her, removing her breastband as they kissed, his tongue tangling with hers. His hand slid up her side to her breasts. He gently palmed one, massaging it as he resumed kissing along her neck. His cock started waking up as she began to moan underneath him. She was here, she was staying, and he was never going to be alone now, this was finally going to be a home, a real home.

He kissed the top of one breast, slowly working his way to the hard nipple with lips and tongue. Kat wiggled beneath him, his name repeated in breathy moans as she clung to his hair and shoulders. Tongue found nipple and began to suck and flick it, teasing it further.  His other hand massaged the neglected breast. From the fingers pulling at his hair, he knew she enjoyed the attention. Her hips pressed up into him, the texture from the skirt sending sensations through him where it rubbed along his sensitive head. It was his turn to moan from the tingling running up his spine.

Anders sat up and Kat whined from the loss of him on top of her. He tucked his fingers inside her waistband and pulled the skirt and smalls down in one slow move. He looked up to see her watching him with hooded eyes. Her breathing shallow, her kiss swollen lips parted. He remembered the feel of them on him from earlier and his cock jumped at the memory. Anders ran both hands along the outside of her legs down to her ankles. Pulling one up, he kissed her ankle. He then pulled up the other and kissed that ankle too. Kat continued to watch him, mesmerized by his every move. Perhaps she was feeling just as amazed that he was really here as he was about her.

Slowly he worked his way up her legs, kissing one side and then the other as he moved, slowly sinking into the bed. Her legs slid along his shoulders as he moved down towards her thighs. Each press of his lips to her made her practically vibrate with anticipation. Her fingers gripped the sheets, as she ached for him to continue.

Anders wrapped his hands around her hips to hold her down and then his lips latched onto her clit. He began to suck and lick as if he was starving and she was a feast.

“Holy Maker. Anders!” She moaned loudly as her hips tried to buck. Her abdomen fluttered as she could feel the pressure start to build. His tongue ran along her outer lips, sending ripples of need through her. She felt his tongue enter her as his nose continued to rub along her clit. It was entirely unfair just how good he was at this and how quickly he was pulling her apart. She writhed, despite his grip on her, keeping her on the bed. He continued to suck and lick, driving her higher and higher to her peak. The pressure built and she could feel her clit throbbing in time to her pulse, everything was overly sensitive. She needed him, every part of her was calling out for him. He moved slightly up, wrapping his lips along her clit again, his tongue flicking at it and she felt the dam break. Bliss swarmed over her as she came. She barely registered the feel of his lips along her hips, up along her stomach. She felt as if she was floating, every single cell felt like it was singing out, crying for his touch.

Anders pulled himself up to bring his face back to hers. He wiped her slick from his face and then kissed her, not slow and soft like before. Now he was full of need and desire and he imparted it in his kissing. Kat’s legs wrapped around his hips and she pulled at him, letting her wishes be known in no uncertain terms. Anders kissed her again, and pulled back only an inch to look into her eyes. He tilted his hips and closed his eyes at the feeling of love that poured over him as he entered her. He had to stop once he was fully sheathed. He could feel his cock pulsing, he didn’t want this over so soon, but being without her, without her touch for so long, and then having her mouth on him earlier, he was so ready.

“I love you.” She whispered, her hot breath hitting his ear, sending another shiver down him.

Slowly he moved, and her fingers gripped into his shoulders. He nipped at her throat, as he moved slowly inside her, feeling every inch drag across her.

“Mine.” Kat heard him growl and it filled her with so much desire. She had been  _ his  _ already for so many long years, but to hear him put it into words filled her with joy. “I am never letting you go again. I love you, Kat, my Kat.”

“Yours.” She kissed his cheek and laughed happily at the thought. 

Anders watched her face as he started to build up speed slightly. Her laughter, the idea that he brought her this happiness that was on her face. That he was the reason she was smiling up at him, the love so evident in her eyes, all for him. Only for him. All the time alone, the years of emptiness, of depression in his clinic all felt so far away now as he stared down at her, suddenly able to see nothing but the future, and she would be in it, it was no longer just a wish in his heart.

“Anders, please.” She begged him so wantonly and he couldn’t deny her or himself anymore. His hips snapped hard, slamming into her. He hit a spot inside her that had her arching off the bed, her legs tightening around him. “You feel so good, oh Maker Anders.”

He grabbed her hips, tilting her slightly up, his nose buried into her hair, his breath on her neck as he drove into her. Need and desire taking over the thought of being slow and gentle. 

“Oh Kat, so good, you feel so good. Ohhhh...fuck love, I can’t hold out you feel so fucking good.” He moaned, feeling his balls start to tighten. At that moment she stiffened and her insides gripped around him. Through his blissful haziness he heard her cry out his name yet again.

Anders rolled to the side of her, pulling her into his arms. His hand rested on her cheek. “I have missed you so much. I never thought I’d see you again except in my dreams. But you’re here, you’re really here.”

Kat kissed his palm and looked at him with joyful tears in her eyes. “I’m here, and I won’t leave you anymore. This is where I want to be.” Her hand rested on his chest and he wondered if she could feel how much his heart pounded, full to the brim with love for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alseia is pronounced A-zi-ya (it's a German name, I had to look it up LOL)
> 
> Only 2 more chapters left. Thanks so much for all of you that have read this and extra thanks for those of you that left me comments. They are like little hugs throughout the day to me and I love them all <3


	14. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders meets Alseia. This chronicles the first day with his new family.

**** Kat fixed her hair in the mirror, but her eyes kept wandering back to Anders, who she could see through the mirror. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed as she was, but looking even more terrified than he had the first time she’d ever seen him, when he had just escaped from the Circle. She approached him and placed a hand on his cheek when he looked up.

“Anders, if you’re not ready…”

“No.” He flinched as he realized how harsh that sounded. “I want to, I’m just...what if she doesn’t like me?”

“She’s going to adore you, I promise. If it helps, she doesn’t know who you are, so you don’t need to tell her until you’re ready. Give yourself time to get used to her first.” She sat in his lap and his arms wrapped around her waist to hold her there.

“She doesn’t know…” His face fell slightly.

“Oh, no you misunderstand. Anders, she knows about her father. I’ve told her all about you. I just mean she doesn’t know you are he. I mean,  _ I  _ didn’t even know you were here until you appeared on the porch. She doesn’t know the name of her father, just about him. So until you’re ready, you just are a friend, ok?” She brushed her fingers through his hair as he rested his head on her shoulder.

“I love you. I just don’t want to be a disappointment.” He kissed her neck, enjoying the fact that she squirmed on him in response.

“You could never be that, love. I promise.”

They walked back to the front door and Anders held it open for her. Sitting on the porch was a grey cat, watching them. “That’s Ser Broody. He doesn’t like anyone.” Anders commented.

“Well, hello Ser Broody. Guess I’ll have my work cut out for me then.” She giggled.

Anders took her hand in his and squeezed it. They walked together back to town, stopping several times to kiss again. Both shared the need to express their affections now that they were finally reunited.

Anders again opened the door for her when they finally reached the only inn in the town. The barkeep looked up and nodded as they entered.

“Wolfrick, I see she found you then.” He tipped his head to them.

“Leon.” Anders nodded. “This is my wife, Kat. Maker, that’s the first time I’ve said that aloud to someone, it feels weird.” He smiled at Kat. “I like it.”

“I do too.” She blushed and giggled quietly.

“Ahh, newlyweds then I take it.” Leon beamed. 

“Very newly.” Anders put an arm around her waist and pulled Kat closer.

“In that case, congratulations. Kat, nice to formally meet you then. Your companions are upstairs.” Leon nodded. “Perhaps you’ll be able to talk Wolfrick here into joining me and the missus for a meal sometime. We’ve been trying for ages, but he always turns us down.”

“We’d be honored.” Kat beamed, elbowing Anders when he tried to object. She recognized that she was going to need to pull him out of his shell, he’d been alone too long, and needed people.

“I like her already!” Leon chuckled. “What say a week from Sunday? Lunch time?”

“It’s a date.” Kat agreed and kissed Anders’ cheek to soothe the fact that he’d had no say in it. “If you’ll excuse us, there’s someone Wolfrick needs to see.”

Kat led Anders up to their room, and gave his hand another squeeze. “You ready?”

He nodded, even though the abject terror on his face indicated he might not be.

“It’ll be fine, I promise.” Kat leaned up and kissed his cheek again. She opened the door, him following behind. Christophe sat in a chair, reading a book. On the floor sat Tomas with a young girl with long blonde hair climbing all over him as if a plaything.

Christophe looked at the door and his smile grew wide, his eyes twinkling as he let out a loud laugh. “Well now I know why you were gone so long. A bit of a reunion then.”

Kat blushed, “Hush.” She playfully scolded him.

“Mama!” The girl climbed off the shoulders of Tomas and ran to Kat who bent down and pulled the girl into a hug.

“Hi little one.” Kat kissed the girl’s cheeks until she squealed with delight pulling back from her mother. “What have you been up to while I was away?”

“I drew, and Uncle Kreestoff and I practiced and then Uncle Tomas played monsters with me. Oh, and Uncle Kreestoff said a bad word earlier.” She beamed at her mother.

“Tattletale.” Christophe commented without any venom in his tone. He looked up at Anders whose eyes were locked on the little girl in front of Kat. The blonde mage looked like he could be blown over by a small breeze and Christophe found himself feeling sorry for the man.

Kat reached over and gently tugged on Anders’ sleeve to indicate he should come down to her level. “Alseia, I’d like you to meet someone. This is Mama’s friend, Anders.”

The girl’s eyes grew a little wider and she held out her hand, “Hi Anders.”

Anders chuckled, feeling some of the tension leave him. She was adorable, and looking at her he saw his mother’s cheeks, Kat’s nose, and the eyes looking at him now were the same he saw whenever he looked in the mirror. She shared the same color hair as him, and despite being an amalgamation of a few people’s traits, she looked a lot like him too.

He took her hand and let her shake his gently. “Hello, Alseia. I’m very happy to meet you.”

“You were  _ very _ hard to find.” The girl huffed, sounding exhausted.

“I’m very sorry.” Anders chuckled. “I didn’t know you were all looking for me or I would have made myself easier to find.”

Alseia looked him up and down, as if making a decision. “Ok. Well we found you, can we go home now Mama?”

Christophe snorted and Tomas gave him a playful smack on the leg to quiet him.

“Sweetheart, we’re going to stay here now, with Anders.” Kat took the girl’s hand.

“But won’t Uncle Zev miss us?” Alseia pouted.

“We will write him so he knows where to find us, it’ll be ok.” Kat ran her hand down the girl’s back to reassure her.

“But where will Uncle Kreestoff and Tomas stay?” Alseia looked back at her uncles.

“Well, little miss snitch,” Christophe stuck his tongue out at the girl who giggled and stuck hers back out at him, “as I told your mother long ago, where she goes, I go. Uncle Tomas and I will find someplace nearby to live.”

Kat smiled wide, “You will?”

“We discussed it already. Sort of figured if you found him you’d want to stay.” Tomas nodded.

Alseia looked around to her uncles and mother and it appeared their reassurances did the job. “Ok.” She smiled.

*** 

Anders leaned along the doorframe peeking into the dark room that had been an unused guest room. Inside slept  _ his daughter _ . Even more surprising to him then the girl sleeping in the bed was that Ser Broody had taken up residence at the foot of the bed and was also snoozing away.

Arms wrapped around his torso and he felt a head rest on his back.

“Twenty four hours ago I didn’t even know she existed,” he said quietly, not wanting to wake the girl. “And now, I can’t imagine a life without her. How is that possible?”

“That’s parenthood.” Kat squeezed her arms around him. 

She stepped back and he turned around to face her. Kat led him back to the living room by his hand and they sat together on the couch. She snuggled into his side, linking hands with him as he wrapped an arm around her.

“Kat.” He whispered into her hair, pressing his lips there. When he’d fallen asleep the night before feeling so utterly alone, he’d had no idea just how much his life would change today. “Thank you.”

“For what?” She leaned her head on his chest, seeming to want to be just as close to him as he wanted her to be.

“For finding me. For bringing me her. You have…”

Kat looked up and saw the tears in his eyes. She brushed her hand along his jaw. “Anders?”

“I was so alone. I convinced myself that was just how it would be. Justice doesn’t even say much anymore. But here you are, and just like that this is a home and you still love me and I just, I’m afraid it’s just a wonderful dream. That I’ll wake up and realize it was never real.” He wiped a tear away.

“It’s real, love. We’re here and we’re not leaving you.” She looked in his eyes.

“But I can’t offer you much. I used what money I had to buy this place. I want to give you more and I can’t.” He shook his head.

“Anders.” Kat tilted his head to look at her fully. “You are enough.” She pressed her lips to his to make her point. Anders sighed into the kiss, relaxing finally.

“I assume Christophe already told you about her being a mage.” He took her hand in his.

“He did.” She nodded. “He picked up on some things when she was almost three. He said that’s very young.”

“It is. But your mother being a mage, and me, she’s probably gifted. How did you manage to keep the Templars from her?” He kissed her fingertips as he spoke.

“Your daughter is quite impressive.” Kat smiled softly at him. She blushed with happiness, finally being able to call Alseia  _ his _ . “She has a Guildmaster of the Crows wrapped around her little finger.”

Anders chuckled. “This Uncle Zev?”

Kat nodded. “He kept them away in Antiva. I suspect he had a lot to do with us being safe the whole trip as we didn’t run into fighting even once.”

“Were you and he…” Anders wished he hadn’t asked the moment the words left his mouth.

“You don’t really want the answer to that.” She leaned her head along his chest. “Zevran is a dear friend. He was who told me what happened in Kirkwall. He knew I’d want to find you.”

“He kept you both safe when I couldn’t. I guess I can’t be too upset.” Anders ran his thumb along the back of her hand.

“But you did, Anders.” She snuggled further into his side. “If it wasn’t for you, the Circles might still be in operation. If it wasn’t for you, I would have to live in fear of someone taking her away from me like you were as a child. Instead I can live knowing she is safe and with me until she’s grown.”

Anders felt a tear run down his cheek. When everything had come to a head in Kirkwall all he could think of was ending the mages’ suffering. Of freedom from Meredith. He’d had no idea that he was making it safer for his own child as well.

“You said Justice is quiet?” She tilted her head up to look at him.

“Very. He’ll answer me if I talk to him, but otherwise...there’s something you need to know, about my being a Grey Warden.” He kissed her forehead. “As a result of becoming a warden, our lifespan is shortened. We generally get about thirty years after we join. I figure I have about twenty left.”

He felt her gasp beside him. “Oh Anders.”

“It’s ok, Kat. I came to terms with it long ago. But Justice, he’s, I don’t know, fighting it somehow. That’s what he’s been doing, why he’s been so quiet.”

“Do you think it’s making a difference?”

Anders shrugged. “I’d like to think so. Our daughter is a sign it might. I shouldn’t be able to have children, but there’s little doubt looking at her that she’s mine. I think that’s his impact.”

“Then please tell him just how grateful I am for that interference.” Kat ran her hand along his chest as she spoke.

“As am I.” Anders squeezed his arm around her.

“We should head off to bed.” Kat sighed. “She gets up too Maker-damned early.”

*** 

_ Zev - _

_ We found him. We are in a small town in south Fereldan called Yerin. Alseia is worried that you won’t know how to find us although I’ve assured her that most likely you’ve never lost track of us. I know she would love a visit from you.  _

_ We will be staying here. Although I will miss Antiva and you, this is where my heart is and where my family is now. _

_ Until we meet again. _

_ -K  _

*** 

Anders had never slept so peacefully that he could recall as he did that night. Kat was within arms reach anytime he needed to reassure himself she was really, truly there. He was used to being up early to tend to the animals on his small land, but it still seemed too early when he felt one of the cats begin to climb off the bed.

Hands too tiny to be Kat’s touched his cheek and he tried to figure out when the cats got hands.

**_The tiny human is touching us._ **

_ That’s Alseia.  _

**_There is much affection for her within you._ **

_ That’s because she’s my child. We’re not alone anymore, Justice. _

**_I am happy to see Kat again. She is a good friend to us._ **

_ She is. _

Anders opened one eye and looked around until he found the girl. She put her hands over her mouth and covered the large smile there.

“Hi,” he whispered so as not to wake Kat.

“I’m hungry.” The girl tilted her head.

Anders slid from the bed, grateful now that Kat had insisted he put back on his sleep pants as they fell asleep. “Come, let’s see what we can find.”

They padded into the kitchen together. Anders helped her onto a chair and then began to look for what he could feed her. What did children even eat? He would need to go to the marketplace tomorrow, he had two more mouths to feed. Did he even have anything to feed her? Was she wondering why he was taking so long staring at the cupboard while he pondered these things?

“What do you usually eat?” He asked her, turning to face her and raising an eyebrow. Ser Broody had jumped up and was now sitting in the girl’s lap purring away as she pet him. The one time he’d tried petting the cat, he was bitten. “He seems to like you. Ser Broody doesn’t like anyone.”

“He doesn’t like that name.” She told Anders as if that should have been clear.

“Oh, what name does he like then?”

The girl looked like she was in thought as she looked at the cat. “Claudio.”

Anders smirked. “Ah, an Antivan cat, that must be the problem. Would eggs be ok?”

“Do you have an orange?”

“No, sweetheart.” Anders shook his head. “Oranges are very hard to come by this far south. I have some berries though if you want those while I make eggs.”

“Ok.” The girl nodded. She then looked at the cat again and once again back up at Anders when he put the berries in front of her. “Will I see Uncle Kreestoff and Tomas anymore?”

“You’ll see them today I’m sure.” Anders gave her a reassuring smile as he put a small bowl of berries in front of her. “We’ll find them someplace real close to live so you can see them all the time.”

That seemed to relax the girl as she took some berries in her hand and smiled. Anders returned to cooking while Alseia continued to pet the no-longer-named Ser Broody. He had no idea how she’d like her eggs, so he guessed sunny side up. He also cut the bread Leon’s wife, Della, and brought him the other day. The two of them refused to just let him be a hermit, no matter how much he tried. And now Kat had arranged for them to see them for a lunch. His world was getting very full quickly, he thought with a smirk.

“I hope this is ok.” He presented the food to the girl who nodded with a smile.

“Thanks, Anders.” She happily dug into the breakfast as he also sat down to eat.

“My pleasure,” He watched her with fondness for a few moment before digging into his own breakfast. He wondered what she looked like as a baby and what she might look like as a grown woman.

“Anders, are you and Mama married?”

Anders tried hard not to choke on the bite of bread he had just taken. He coughed a few times. “Wh...why do you ask?”

“Well, you kiss her and Uncle Tomas and Uncle Kreestoff kiss and their married. And Mama’s sleeping in your bed and my uncles share a bed.” She looked at him expectantly.

“Would it be ok if we were?” Would Kat want her to know? He suddenly worried he was wandering into unfamiliar territory with the girl. What could he and couldn’t he say?

She shrugged and looked at her plate as if deep in thought. “Uncle Zev says that people should find happiness where they can. Mama smiles at you a lot, so you make her happy. So I think it’s ok.” The girl nodded as she made her decision.

“That’s good to know.” Anders blushed slightly at the thought of making Kat happy.

After their meal was complete Anders carried their dishes to the sink while Alseia sat on the floor and played with the cat. “Mama wouldn’t let me have a pet at home. She said I was too little to care for one yet.”

“Well he seems to have taken to you, so you can look after Ser...uh Claudio if you want.” He hoped this wasn’t item number two this morning that would piss off Kat. He’d never been so nervous about her before, but suddenly it felt like one wrong step and he could lose too much. “I have a pony, she helps plow my field. If you want you can bring her an apple later.”

Alseia nodded and grinned wide. “I love horses. Can I have one?”

Anders chuckled. “I only have the one. Let’s just see how it goes with the cat first, okay?”

He looked up as he heard a floorboard creak and smiled as Kat entered the room. She stretched and then leaned into him for a good morning hug and kiss.

“I can’t remember the last time I got to sleep in. I hope she hasn’t been too much trouble.” She looked over to where the girl was intently focused on playing with the cat.

“Well, let’s see. So far this morning she’s renamed my cat, blessed our marriage and asked for a horse.” Anders chuckled.

“Oh, is that all.” Kat snorted.

“I hope I didn’t overstep, I didn’t tell her about us, but I didn’t deny it either. And I may have told her she could have the cat as a pet.” Anders watched his new wife closely.

“Anders.” Kat touched his cheek. “She’s yours too. You get to make decisions now also, you don’t have to clear everything with me. It’s ok.” Kat leaned up and kissed his cheek as if to confirm it was really alright.

“It’s just a lot to take in.” He said, handing her a piece of bread. Kat turned so that she could now lean back against him while watching Alseia play. Anders wrapped his arms around her and held her close, leaning his head on her shoulder. She watched as Alseia, who was now in the living room, played hide and seek with the cat.

“You’ll get used to it, I promise. And you’re not alone, Christophe and Tomas and I are all here too.” She pressed her head back to his chest.

“I’m just worried, what if I’m am bad at this? What about when she learns what I did?” His voice full of doubt.

“You worry too much.” Kat smirked. “Little one?”

“Yes, Mama.” The girl looked up immediately.

“Can you tell Anders about your father?” Kat requested.

Alseia nodded and sat up straighter, clearly excited. “He’s a mage like me. He heals people when they get sick and he’s really brave. He fought back against the Templars and others that wanted to hurt mages. There was a big ‘splosion,” her hands made a gesture in the air as if something blew up, “but it was because nobody would listen and he needed to make things safe for mages. But my daddy made them listen so that people knew that mages like me and Uncle Kreestoff were people and not scary. Oh, and he was a Grey Warden too, so he helped fight the bark pans.”

“Darkspawn sweetie.” Kat corrected, hearing Anders chuckle behind her.

“Oh, right, darkspawn.” The girl nodded. “And he had a friend who was dying and he saved him too. This friend was a spirit, not a demon, and it was dangerous to take into himself but my daddy did it anyway cause he is brave and does things to help others. And my daddy loved Mama so much that he gave me to her so that she always had something of him with her so she wouldn’t be lonely without him.” She was beaming by the end of her story.

Anders made a noise behind Kat that sounded like a sob, but he held her tight in place when she tried to turn around and look at him. “You told her all that?” He said softly in her ear.

“Some was from me, some from Christophe and Tomas. I told you, she knows all about you except that you’re him. When you’re ready for her to know, it’ll be ok, there’s no secrets you need to tiptoe around.” Kat squeezed his hand to reassure him.

“Thank you.” Anders buried his nose into her hair. He expected it to be frightening but somehow, having someone that knew everything, even the dark things, and still she accepted him,  _ loved  _ him even, meant so much.

Kat turned in his arms and caught his lips in a kiss as one hand slipped into his hair, the other around his waist. His hand rested on her hips as he returned the kiss, his hands tightened slightly as he sighed into the kiss. He heard Alseia giggle and he smiled. Yesterday he was alone. Today he had a family and love. He felt light, as if all the worries and pain of the last decade had just melted away.

Kat pulled away only slightly, her hand resting on his cheek. Anders smiled, feeling the warmth of her touch, his eyes washing over her face. She was watching her hand on his cheek, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Kat?” He searched her face wondering what could be wrong.

“I almost gave up.” She said so quietly he wasn’t sure he heard her right.

“What?” 

She looked up into his eyes. “I almost gave up on ever finding you. I was ready to go back to Antiva, to resign myself to never seeing you again. But here you are. This is real.”

Ander placed a kiss on her nose. “It’s real love. For good this time, as you said before.”

Kat let out a sigh and wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down for another kiss. “I love you.” She whispered against his lips.

“I love you too.” He told her, giving her another kiss. “Both of you.” He wrapped his arms around her, resting his cheek along the top of her head,watching their daughter play with the cat in the living room as Kat leaned against him.

Eventually Kat pulled away reluctantly, “Alseia, time to get dressed. All of us.”

***

Anders sat on his couch with Kat beside him holding his hand. He watched their hands, but said nothing.

“What are you thinking?” She turned towards him slightly.

“I thought you knew how to read my mind.” Anders chuckled.

Kat grinned wide. “I’m a little out of practice.”

“I was just thinking how I’ve been living here almost a year and this is the first time it’s felt like home.”

“You’re getting really good at making me tear up.” Kat smiled softly as Anders lifted his hand, pulling hers to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to it.

“Anders, what’s this?” They both turned to Alseia who had entered carrying something.

Anders held his arm out and Alseia climbed up next to him on the couch. She handed over a small pillow that she had found in her room. Anders placed it on his lap, letting go of Kat’s hand to run his hand over the stitching.

“This is something my mother made for me. She gave it to me when I was about twelve.” Anders explained.

“Does she live near here?” Alseia tilted her head as she watched him.

“I don’t know, Alseia.” Anders shrugged. “I haven’t seen her since I was very young.”

“Why not? Did you get lost?” 

“No.” He shook his head, looking momentarily to Kat. Her eyes were full of nothing but love, and she nodded. “I was taken away from my home.”

“By the Templars?” Alseia asked. Anders nodded. Alseai’s nose scrunched up. “I hate Templars.”

Anders chuckled and ran his hand along her head. “Me too. Anyway she gave this to me when they did. I keep it to remind myself of when I was just a normal little boy.”

Alseia got up from the couch and ran to her room, running back in a moment later and climbed back on the couch. She pressed a doll into Anders lap. It was a rag doll made of multiple colored scraps sewn to look like a girl of sorts.

“Mama made this for me. This is Tara.” Alseia explained.

“Well hello Tara.” Anders ‘shook’ the doll’s hand. “This is a nice doll.” He handed the rag doll back to her.

“She has a brother, Pater.” Alseia hugged her dolly. “I left him with Uncle Zevran so he wouldn’t be lonely when we left. He promised to keep him safe.”

“That was very sweet of you.” Anders smiled at her softly.

*** 

Christophe and Tomas arrived a few hours later with a sack full of food that Kat managed to turn into a beautiful lunch of salad, hard boiled eggs (which Anders joked meant they may have spent money to buy his own eggs) and roasted leg of ram with cheese for sandwiches

“You didn’t even need a shovel.” Anders playfully whispered in her ear, earning him a light jab from her elbow and a small laugh. 

Anders turned from the counter with the tray of food Kat had handed him to place on the table. He couldn’t help but smile at the table full not only of food but friends. He recalled when he had put it in, thinking how it was silly and wasteful to put in a table with four chairs in his home unless the cats started taking up seats. Now suddenly four was not enough, Alseia needing to sit in Tomas’ lap as they started to dig in. It was pretty clear to Anders that Tomas had won the position of ‘favorite’ with Alseia, which he found adorable. The warrior was rather tall with muscles that would put Fenton to shame, yet he was a gentle giant with the tiny girl. For the first time since the Hanged Man in Kirkwall, he found himself sitting down to a meal with others. While he barely knew the other two men, they’d proven to be nothing but warm and welcoming to him since they were formally introduced the day before. It seemed that Kat’s affection for him was enough for the other two to consider him part of their group.

“Uncle Kreestoff, I have a cat now.” She smiled large at the mage as she took a slice of cheese.

“Well well. Learning to get your way with Anders already,” Christophe chuckled and winked at Anders to show he was teasing. “And what is this cat’s name?”

“Claudio.” She answered as Tomas chuckled and Christophe tried to hide a grin.

“I feel like I’m missing something.” Anders raised an eyebrow while Kat shrugged.

“Claudio was the name of the cat owned by one of the vendors in Antiva that we’d buy spices from. Alseia loved petting him.” Christophe explained. “He was what kicked off six months of ‘I want a cat. I want a cat.’ ad nauseum.” 

Kat laughed. “ _ That’s _ where that came from? It seemed so random I was sure one of you had put her up to it.” 

“Do I have to give him back?” Alseia frowned.

“No sweetheart. Anders said you can keep him so you can keep him.” Kat reassured her.

The girl seemed happy with the answer and dug into her lunch.

“I know it’s early yet, but you two haven’t found a place have you?” Anders asked, smiling at Kat as she placed another helping of meat on his plate. He was sure some people might have found it annoying, but he liked being doted on, having someone care about him and wanting to look out for him. It reminded him sweetly of the first time she had done that same thing, at a campfire a lifetime ago.

Tomas shook his head. “Your friend Leon offered to help, but so far nothing. Do you know of something?”

“Well, just an offer, but no hard feelings if you turn me down.” Anders took Kat’s hand, giving it a light squeeze. “Kat mentioned you grew up on a farm, and I could sure use some help around here. I’ve more land than I could use, plenty to build a small house on for you both if you were interested.”

Christophe and Tomas seemed to have a conversation in their heads while Anders and Kat waited for their answer. Tomas squeezed Alseia “What do you think, do you want you uncles living so close?”

“Yes.” Alseia nodded seriously.

“Very well then. We’ll make arrangements for materials and to find someone to help with construction. Anders, you have yourselves some neighbors.” Tomas laughed.

Anders smiled as he ate the piece of ram on his plate. Family, honest to goodness family was starting to build up around him.

*** 

Kat placed the blanket over her daughter as Anders stood nearby watching. “I love you my little one.”

“I love you too, Mama. Can I have a story?”

“Would you like Anders to tell you one?” She found it hard not to push, but she wanted to see them bond even more.

“But he doesn’t know my story.” Alseia pouted.

“No, but I could tell you one I do know.” Anders offered delighted when the girl nodded.

Kat moved down the bed so that Anders could sit closer to their daughter. “Once upon a time there was a young man named Fenton. He lived in a big castle with his mother, father and older brother. They were very happy and very kind. Everyone that lived on their lands loved them very much.”

“Was he a prince?” Alseia asked.

“No, but he knew the prince.” Anders smiled at her. “There was an Arl who was very jealous of the love of this family. One day while the oldest son was away, the Arl attacked the castle killing almost everyone inside.”

The girl gasped. “But Fenton escaped right?”

Anders nodded. “He did, but the Arl did not know this. At the same time there was a darkness spreading across the land. Young Fenton vowed revenge for his family’s murder and to help save Ferelden from the darkness.”

“Ooo, he was very brave!” Alseia beamed up at Anders.

“He was.” Anders took her hand in his. “Fenton gathered a party of brave fighters including a prince, two mages, a dwarf and an elf who was former Crow who wanted to help.”

“Like Uncle Zevran?” Alseia’s eyes grew wide.

“I suspect exactly like your Uncle.” Anders chuckled again. “You’re supposed to be falling asleep, not getting excited.”

“Oops, sorry.” She smiled softly and closed her eyes.

“Ok, so these brave fighters roamed all over the land finding more and more people to help them against the darkness. While searching, Fenton found the evil Arl.” Anders explained.

“I hate the Arl.” Alseia snarled sleepily while keeping her eyes closed.

Kat snorted behind him and squeezed his leg. 

“Fenton battled the Arl and got justice for his family. With the Arl dead all that was left was to save Ferelden.” Anders gently brushed some hair back from the girl’s head.

“Did…” She let out a big yawn. “Did he save it?”

“Yes, I’ll tell you that story next time, ok?”

She didn’t answer, her even breathing indicating she had fallen asleep. Kat tugged his arm slightly after a few minutes, pulling him from the room. Once in the hallway she pulled him down for a soft kiss that quickly got less soft as Anders walked her back towards their room.


	15. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is tied up with a pretty blue bow <3

Kat awoke hearing hushed whispers and a child’s giggles from the living room.  From the tone, she realized it was most likely Christophe and Tomas were here entertaining Alseia. She looked beside her to see Anders was already sitting up, or rather, from the blue glow, Justice. In the three months since they had arrived, the spirit had only appeared once before.

“Justice?” She gently brushed her fingertips along his bare back.

Justice turned around. “Hello my friend.” He nodded his head and gave her a brief smile.

Kat sat up, covering herself as she did. She knew Anders was still in there, and that most likely Justice had seen her nude before, but it still felt different to her, hence the shyness. “Are you ok? Is something wrong?”

“I am uncertain. Anders...he is anxious. Something about today.” Justice tilted his head slightly, his face showing his puzzlement.

Kat smiled and nodded as she reached out again and ran a reassuring hand along his arm. “It’s ok, Justice. He’s nervous, maybe more excited is the right term, because today is Alseia’s birthday.”

“Anders worries about the man he is. Why is this?” Justice asked in his usual matter-of-fact manner.

Kat sighed, she had hoped as he and Alseia had grown closer, it would have reassured him, but he apparently was still harboring doubts. “He’s worried that he won’t be a good father. He doesn’t realize he already is one.”

“I will need to think on this more.” Justice nodded and a moment later the blue faded.

“Kat?” Anders blinked his eyes looking at her.

“Welcome back,” she smirked as she dropped the sheet she’d been holding up, exposing her bare chest.

Anders growled as he grinned lewdly and pounced on her, causing Kat to giggle in response.

A short time later they both entered the kitchen to find Alseia dancing around with a crown of flowers on her head. She stopped when she saw them both and ran up to the two of them.

“Mama! Anders! Look at the crown Uncle Tomas made me!” She smiled large.

“It’s very beautiful. Happy birthday, Alseia.” Kat smiled down at her.

“They’re awake, can I have my special breakfast now?” Alseia bounced in place as she looked at Christophe.

“Of course.” Christophe gave her a warm smile as he motioned for her to sit in one of the chairs.

“He makes her pancakes with fruit for her birthday every year.” Kat whispered to Anders who nodded. One of many traditions he was still learning, but happy to now be a part of. He watched with amusement as the girl quickly scrambled into a chair.

Five minutes later, Christophe presented her with a plate full of pancakes with berries and cream on top. He placed a candle in the center and then with a brush of his fingers, lit it on fire. The adults sang her an Antivan birthday song - one Kat had helped Anders practice for this day. The girl beamed, watching them all as they did.

“Time to make your wish,” Kat told Alseia once the song had ended. The girl’s eyes looked around at everyone before landing on Kat and Anders. She closed her eyes and blew out the candle.

“What did you wish for?” Christophe asked as he plucked the candle from the pancakes and handed her a fork.

“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.” Alseia answered in an exasperated voice.

“Oh.” Christophe nodded as he stepped back.

“He always forgets.” Alseia rolled her eyes as the adults tried not to laugh. “Can I have my presents, Mama?” Her mouth full of food.

“No talking with your mouth full.” Kat softly scolded. “Later today. Now there’s breakfast and then chores on the farm.”

A few hours later found them doing just that. It was a small farm, with just two acres of land for crops, three cows, half a dozen chickens and a horse. Not huge, but plenty to provide the family with milk, eggs, and food.  Anders was tossing hay with a pitchfork into the cows’ pen, stopping to look around at the others. Christophe had headed up to town to pick up some things for tonight’s celebration dinner, due to arrive back soon. Tomas was in the fields with the horse plowing the ground now that the crops were done. He could see Kat pulling up eggs from the nests into a basket near the chickens, who were picking at feed and worms on the ground. Alseia was sitting on a fence, watching Anders work, her cat beside her, taking a nap in a sun patch.

This, it was perfection, the culmination of a dream. And if life had taught Anders anything, it was that dreams had a way of being pulled away from you in the most painful way possible. It had taught him time and again that good things didn’t last for him. The last few months had been bliss. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, a few tantrums from Alseia, and his first fight ever with Kat, although the making up from the fight had been spectacular, and had replayed in his dreams often.  But it was only a matter of time before it all crashed down. Either someone would find him, make him pay for his crimes, or Kat would decide she missed the warmth and excitement of Antiva City and pack up her and his daughter and leave him alone once again.

Kat looked over from the chicken coop and could tell from the look on his face that something was wrong. She signaled to Tomas to keep an eye on Alseia and then walked over to where Anders was leaning on the pitchfork, looking off at nothing.

“Come on,” she gently tugged his arm leading him into the small barn. “What’s wrong?” She asked him with a soft voice once they were inside.

“This is...it’s just...you and Alseia being here, it’s more than I ever thought I’d have. It’s more than I ever dared to dream.” Anders ran his hand through his hair and stared at the ground, his eyes full of worry.

“And you’re afraid it’s going to go away?” Kat answered, reading him as usual. He nodded but said nothing, still looking at the ground. Kat stepped closer and placed a hand on his chest, her other one touched his cheek and gently tilted his head up to look at him. “We’re not going anywhere. Neither of us. We love you, more than I think you realize. I will fight anyone and anything to stay by your side. I promise you Anders, you’re not going to be alone anymore.”

He looked into her eyes and saw nothing but love and care for him reflected back at him. “But what if…”

“There’s no ‘buts’. I didn’t spend nearly a year searching for you to change my mind. I love you. I want to spend however long you have left right here with you. I want Alseia to grow up with you, know you. That won’t change. Ever.” She pressed her lips to his, hoping he could feel her love for him coming through.

Barely a moment passed before his arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her closer, his tongue pressing into her mouth. Anders slowly walked them both behind her to the pile of hay. Kat pulled him down over her as she laid down, never breaking their kiss. Eager hands started to search the other’s body. Kat tugged on his shirt to pull it out of the breeches. Her hands found skin and fingernails scraped gently as Anders’ body pressed along hers. He began to nibble along her neck, she tilted her head back to give him more access. His hands grasped her hips, pulling her closer as he pressed his erection against her clothed heat.

There was a loud scream of agony outside and Kat quickly shoved at Anders to get off of her. “Alseia!” 

Anders had barely climbed off when Kat was scrambling for the door to find her child. Anders ran close behind, worried at what they might find and terrified that he had been right that this was all going to ent. There were packages near the path by the front of the house, sprawled on the ground as if dumped in haste by the carrier. Christophe was just reaching the girl who was on the ground screaming, holding her arm, her face red with large tears streaming down it. Tomas was charging over from the fields as Kat dropped to her knees in front of her daugher.

“Little one, what’s wrong, tell me.” Kat brushed the girl’s hair from her face. Alseia just continued to wail in reply.

“Let me, she may have broken her arm.” Anders gently brushed Kat’s side to take her place in front of the girl. “Alseia, watch your Mama, I’m going to check your arm, ok?”

Alseia nodded but continued to cry as she looked at Kat. “Mama it hurts.”

“I know baby girl.” Kat tried not to let her fear show through afraid it would frighten the girl more. “You’re being brave.”

“She tripped trying to climb off the fence to greet me.” Christophe sounded guilty.

“It’s ok.” Kat looked up at him with a nod, trying to let him know it wasn’t his fault. “It’s an accident.”

“This is going to hurt, but just for a quick second. I need to reset the bones, but then it’ll very quickly be ok, alright. You just need to be brave for a minute. Squeeze your Mama’s hand if you have to.” Anders spoke in soft soothing tones to Alseia. She nodded and then closed her eyes, grabbing Kat’s hand in hers. She screamed loudly as Anders reset the break. Christophe and Tomas stood back only a few feet, watching with concern for the girl they loved dearly.

Anders hands began to glow blue as he began to heal the break. “You’re doing wonderful, just a few minutes and it’ll be all better.” He reassured her as Kat soothingly brushed her hand along her daughter’s forehead.

Alseia’s crying had quieted down to just a sniffling and the occasional gulp. Kat let out a deep breath of relief knowing that it was a sign that her daughter was ok. Alseia watched Anders’ hands as they emitted magic, healing her arm. He looked up and gave her a reassuring smile which she returned with a small one of her own before looking back down at his hands again.

“All done, you did good sweetheart.” Anders kissed the girl’s forehead. “I need to make you a sling though so you don’t use it too much for a few days just to let it heal, okay.”

Alseia watched Anders face with her nose scrunched as if she was thinking hard. She looked him in the eyes, and then picked up his right hand that had a similar birthmark to her own.

“Are you ok?” He asked, “Is something else hurt?” His heart felt like it was still pounding, he’d never been so frightened of anything as he was when he’d heard her scream. Not even facing down Meredith with red lyrium compared.

Alseia took Anders’ shoulders in her hands and looked at him. “I have to ask you something and I need you to be honest.”

Anders tried not to laugh, knowing the girl was mimicking her mother when she had been caught doing something wrong. “Alright.” He nodded, trying to look serious but failing.

“Are you my daddy?” Alseia asked softly. Behind her Christophe let out a gasp, quickly covering with his mouth with his hands. Kat felt tears in her eyes but said nothing, this was his decision, not hers.

Anders touched the girl’s cheek gently. “I am,” he nodded as he spoke. 

Alseia grabbed his neck in a tight hug with her little arms and started pressing kisses to his cheek. Anders looked over to see Kat’s eyes shining with joy with the largest grin he’d ever seen on her face.

“That was my birthday wish.” Alseia squealed with delight as she hugged Anders again. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged. She was happy. She wanted  _ him _ , in fact she had wished for him. Anders could feel the tears brimming in his eyes as his heart overflowed. “I got my birthday wish.”

Anders kissed Alseia’s cheek as he stood with her still in his arms. “Yes you did.”

“Ok, let’s stop with the crying, I have everything for lunch and something came for you today, birthday girl.” Christophe started ushering them towards the house.

A half hour later they sat around the table, Alseia’s arm now held in a sling fashioned from one of Anders’ shirts. She was sitting in his lap holding onto his arm with her good hand. Now that she knew who he was, she seemed reluctant to let go of him. On the table sat presents in colorful paper and berry tarts that Christophe had found at the baker’s.

“Are you ready to open your presents?” Kat beamed at the girl.

“Daddy’s first.” Alseia squealed with excitement. Kat noticed the blush on Anders cheeks and her whole chest felt warm with love. Seeing the two of them finally as parent and child brought her so much joy.

She held the wrapping with her hand that was in the sling while tearing it open with her other.  “Ooooo, Mama look!” She held up a small necklace with a blue vitrol pendant. It was a common stone, but Kat knew that it probably still cost Anders what he made in a month, not that money was as much of a concern anymore with the fortune Kat had amassed over the years. “Can I put it on?” Alseia asked Anders who helped put it around her neck.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Anders kissed her cheek.

Next was a blue dress from Tomas and Christophe, her favorite color. She got ribbon for her hair and one for her  doll from Kat.

“You have one more present,” Kat smirked at the girl lifting the brown paper package on the table. 

“Who’s it from?” Alseia cocked her head confused.

“Well, this looks like it came from Antiva…” 

“Uncle Zev!” Alesia screamed with delight as Kat helped her to open the package. Inside was a note and a book. “What’s it say, Mama?”

Kat smiled and opened the note to read to her. “My dear Alseia, it is hard to believe you are already five. It feels like just yesterday you were a tiny baby keeping your mother up all night and puking on your Uncle Christope.”

Alseia giggled while Christophe fake scolded her with his finger.

Kat continued. “Today you are a big girl. I’m sorry I can not be there to celebrate with you, but Pater and I are there in spirit. Pater is proving to be a fine Crow and companion but we both miss you. I hope you enjoy your gift. Perhaps Anders can read it to you tonight at bedtime.”

Kat turned over the book and read the title to the girl “Book of Antivan Children’s stories.”

Alseia grinned wide. “My night stories. Can you read them to me, daddy?”

“Of course.” Anders replied hugged her tight.

*** 

Anders entered the house knocking the mud from his boots. He managed to get his arms out just in time as Alseia launched herself at him with a squeal of “Daddy.”

Closing in on age six, she had seemed almost to have sprouted several inches over night to him. “Oomph.” He grunted as her weight hit his chest. He rose with her in his arms as Kat entered the kitchen and kissed him.

“I think we have a wolf.” Anders told her. “Couple of the chickens have been killed.” He affectionately tapped his daugher on the nose with his finger. “This means no wandering off without a grownup, understood?” Alseia nodded in reply.

“I’ll get Christophe, we can see if we can find it.” Kat suggested. “You can help Daddy and Uncle Tomas while we do.” She tickled Alseia’s side causing the girl to giggle.

“Kat, I don’t think you…”

“I’m going. End of discussion.” Kat gave him a look that communicated that this was not up for further arguing.

An hour later she and Christophe began to scour the fields for the wolf. For Kat, it was less worry about chickens as it was the thought that one had gotten so close to her home, to where her daughter slept. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do to keep her family safe. Even if it meant pissing off Anders by going off to hunt the wolf. She knew it was just because his desire to keep her safe was as strong as hers for his safety.

*** 

Fenris wrapped the cloak around his shoulders to keep out the cold. “Does the winter ever end here?” He grumbled.

“This is summer.” Hawke smirked at him.

“It is not.” Fenris glared. When Hawke’s expression didn’t change, he looked at him in disbelief “No.”

“It is.” Hawke chuckled. “Seems your thin Tevinter blood can’t handle Fereldan summers.”

“I find it quite wondrous, Hawke.” Merril chirped in her usual ecstatic voice.

“Thank you, Merrill,” Hawke beamed at the elf.

Fenris held up his hand to indicate for the other two to be quiet. He could hear voices nearby.

“I’m beginning to think we’re looking in the wrong place for this little wolf.” Someone said with a Tevinter accent.

Fenris growled, pulling his sword from his back as he heard the name his former master had given him. “Slavers.”

Hawke readied his own sword as Merrill put her staff in front of her, both ready to fight and defend Fenris if necessary. They watched as a woman and man approached, both clearly searching for something.

“Your days of hunting for slaves is done.” Fenris snarled as his tattoos began to glow, moving into a defensive stance.

“Oh my. Impressive.” The Tevinter’s eyes grew wide.

“What did you say?” The woman snapped, her eyes squinting slightly.

“I will not allow you to take me or any others. Slavers.” Fenris prepared to battle.

What he had not prepared for was the woman to storm at him so pissed off without any weapons.

“Ow.” Fenris squealed as she pinched his earlobe.

“Apologize.” The woman snapped at him.

“I am not your slave.” Fenris winced. It really hurt.

“I know that.” She continued to grasp his ear. “Apologize for that racist remark.”

“I think you better do it.” Hawke suggested, an amused smirk on his face.

“Hawke, I...OW!” Fenris yelped as the woman pulled on his ear.

“I said apologize.”

“I wouldn’t mess with a Ferelden mother, Fen. My own did that to my ears enough to know she’s not going to stop until you do.” Hawke gave the elf a sympathetic look.

“I...I am sorry.” Fenris begrudgingly replied. He covered his ear the moment the woman let go of it, feeling it throb from the abuse.

“See now, that wasn’t so hard.” She stepped back towards her friend.

“You really didn’t have to do that.” Her friend shook his head looking slightly embarrased.

“Hush. And maybe don’t tell you know who I did that.” She gave him a smile. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.” She eyeballed the group. “Although you look familiar.” She looked Fenris up and down.

Hawke shook his head. “We are not. We travelled from far north in search of someone. Wolfrick Kraus. Perhaps you know h…”

The woman pulled out two daggers as the hands of the mage beside her began to glow. “What do you want with him?”

Hawke raised an eyebrow. The pair hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to fight before, but the mention of a name had them both ready for battle. He held up his hands. “My name is Garrett Hawke, I’m…”

The woman didn’t lower her daggers. “I know who you are Champion. Maybe not by sight, but I know you. You didn’t answer my question.”

“I have something for him. From a friend.” Hawke explained.

“You will tell us where he is.” Fenris was becoming impatient.

“I will not. I will know why you want to see my husband, then I’ll decide if I’ll bring you to him or kill you.”

“Oh Hawke, he’s not alone like you feared.” Merrill clapped her hands together and smiled brightly. “We worried he’d be so lonely.”

The woman’s face softened when she looked at the elf. “Why is it you’re looking for him?”

“We were sent here from the Warden Commander. We have something for him, I promise you, we mean him no harm.” Hawke started to explain. “Perhaps we can start again. I’m Garrett, this is Fenris and Merrill. We’re friends of Wolfrick’s…”

“Just call him Anders, he prefers it.” The woman interrupted.

“Anders.” Hawke smiled warmly. “And you are?”

“Kat, this is Christophe.” She indicated the mage beside her. “I’ll take you to him, but if I think you’re trying to trick me, I have no problem striking you down, understood?”

Hawke’s smile grew as he recognized the name. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Kat. I’ve heard much about you.”

They followed Kat and Christophe through the fields, eventually coming upon a small farm. Hawke spotted Anders right away. No longer dressed in the familiar robes, but instead in breeches and a loose shirt. Nearby a small child was mock sparring with a giant of a man. Anders looked up as they approached and the shock on his face was one that Hawke couldn’t help but smile at.

“We couldn’t find the wolf, but ran into some friends of yours. They swear they are here for good.” Kat explained as she leaned up to kiss Anders.

“I’m sure they are, love.” He spoke softly as he touched her cheek in reassurance. “Maybe get some lunch prepared since we have guests.”

Kat nodded, give the party another sharp look before she and Christophe retired to the house.

“Garrett,” Anders smiled large as he shook the Champion’s hand. “Never thought I’d see your handsome face again. Merrill.” He nodded at her, and then noticed Fenris was rubbing his ear.  “What’s wrong with Fenris’ ear?” 

“Your wife ran at him midglow and pinched it until he apologized for calling her friend a slaver.” Hawke gave his lover a sympathetic look.

“Of course she did.” Anders sighed pinching his nose. “I tell her to be safe and instead she takes on the biggest threat. It’s like she sees danger as a challenge.”

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a good setup. Here I was worried about you being alone in a cave, not a farm and a wife.” Hawke gave the mage a good natured pat on the arm.

“It’s so pretty here.” Merrill cooed.

“Die Templar.” They all turned to see the young girl playfully climb atop the large man in victory.

“Well I guess we don’t need to ask whose child she is.” Fenris smirked.

Anders shook his head. “Alseia come here.” He held out his arms, picking up the girl when she ran up to him. “Meet some friends of mine. This is Hawke and Fenris, and this here is Merrill.”

Alseia looked at them all and appeared to become shy, burying her nose in Anders neck. “Hi.” she said quietly.

“Oh, she’s adorable. Hello Da’len.” Merrill smiled brightly to the girl who just buried her head further into Anders neck.

“She’s not normally this shy. What brings you all here? I doubt you were just in the neighborhood.” Anders asked as he held the girl.

“I come bearing a letter and a gift from an old friend.” Hawke explained as his stomach growled. “I think you mentioned something about lunch?”

Anders chuckled, “Of course, come along. Thomas, we may need some chairs from your house if you don’t mind.”

The large “templar” from before nodded and walked off, presumably to get the chairs.

Twenty minutes later they sat around the table, Kat putting out sandwiches and fruit along with a pitcher of water. Anders pulled her into his lap before she could sit in the free chair. She smirked and kissed his cheek in response.

“Oh, look how happy he is. Isn’t it good to see him happy, Hawke?” Merrill clapped her hands together.

Hawke smiled as he tilted his head at her. “Very good.”

“You mentioned you had something for me?” Anders asked. Hawke nodded and passed along a letter and a small box as he ate.

Anders kept his arms around Kat as he opened the letter.

_ You really should have used the name Wolfrick when in the Wardens. No one would have fucked with you with a bad ass name like that. _

_ Assuming you’re not as dumb as I think you are, you married that woman that was searching for you. Tell your wife I said she’s welcome for this and hope to meet again some day. _

_ -Fenton _

Anders chuckled and opened the box. Inside was a vial of blue liquid with gold sparkles in it. He held it up to the light with a look of confusion on his face. “Hawke?”

“It’s the cure.” Fenris answered as Hawke’s mouth was full.

“The cure?” Anders felt even more confused.

“He didn’t say what for. Only that Wardens needed it.” Merrill explained.

Anders looked at Kat who turned to face him with tears in her eyes. “Anders, do you think...does this mean…”

Anders stared back at the vial in his hand and squeezed his wife close. “I do.” He leaned his head along her arm.

_ What do you think, Justice? This could have effects on you. _

**_We did what we set out for, you should take it._ **

Anders uncorked the vial giving Kat a small kiss and then downed the liquid. It felt cool along his throat. He felt nothing at first, then a warm sensation through his body, then nothing.

_ Justice? _

**_I am here. The taint appears to be dissolved._ **

“He says it’s gone. The taint’s gone.” Anders whispered to Kat who threw her arms around his neck and cried silent tears of joy. Anders turned to look at his friends, “Thank you. You have no idea the significance of what you did.”

“The journey was worth it to meet your family.” Hawke smirked at the girl beside him, giving her a wink. “I could tell you all sorts of stories about your dad.”

Alseia smiled back. “I’m gonna be a big sister.”

There was the clatter of silverware hitting the plates as Tomas and Christophe looked up in shock, their mouths agape.

“We need to work on what something being a secret means.” Kat shook her head at her daughter looking annoyed.

“The secret’s just out a little early, sweetheart. And now we have more friends here to celebrate.” Anders soothed her irritation with a kiss on the cheek and rubbing her arms.

As everyone rushed over to congratulate them, Anders felt another tingling in him, but this time from joy instead of a vial of liquid. He once had an empty house with an empty table and an empty life. Today, he had more friends than chairs around the table, more love than his heart could contain, and more family than his house could hold, a nursery would need to be built as an add-on. He looked around as he kept his arm around his Kat’s waist and felt his heart overflow. Never again would he be alone, never again would he be forgotten. He finally had true freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO SO SO much for reading this. I hope you liked the ending and didn't find it too corny.  
> If you left kudos, an extra thank you.  
> If you left a comment and kudos, two extra thank yous and a cookie as well!!
> 
> This was my first attempt at writing actual OCs that weren't just side characters, but instead a main. I was so nervous if Kat would be accepted by readers, worried that she wouldn't seem as real as Anders and the crew do.  
> But then you all started talking about her her or on my Facebook and I just can't even begin to tell you how much that meant to me. Thank you, a million times over, thank you.
> 
> It's with a little bit of sadness that I must now say goodbye to them all <3


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